My Heart Has Lost All Hope

(RONNIES POINT OF VIEW)

It was the last day of tour, and I was worried about going back to Vegas, I was only going to be back there for a short period of time, I was going to be moving to California near the rest of the band, and the record label. to get away from the ace I pushed that thought to the back of my mind, I had to Finnish the business I had with him before I left. He was sending me more threats as the days went on, some were directed at vanessa. it made my blood boil . He's the real reason I've had the guys or guards following Nessa for days. 

What was I going to do? I couldn't leave Vanessa in Vegas, she wouldn't be safe even of this blew over. I also wanted her to come with me to California. I know its only been two months since we went official... would it scare her to ask her to come with me? she made me feel like I was high without the heroine, she was my drug. The drug in me was her . I smiled at my own cheesy thought. It was completely true. This girl had my heart in her hands. 

"Hey baby, I missed you" she cooed wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing my lips lightly. I was about to go on stage, she had just came from taking her final pictures of the tour. We were the last band of the night, we were closing warped tour, the crowd was bigger then its ever been. 

"I missed you too baby-doll" I smiled at her and placed my hand on her cheek, caressing it with my thumb, I stared into her beautiful blue eyes. I felt my heart melt as she returned my stare . Her eyes were saying what I was thinking, wanting to say to her. I think I love you Vanessa . I shouted mentally to myself.

"Don't be sad Ronnie, you will tour again soon, lets make this a night to remember" Shes been able to tell if i'm upset in an instant for weeks now, she knew my emotions before I even did sometimes. 

"Thats not whats bothering me sweetheart, I... I dont want to lose you" Her eyes got wide and she hugged my waist.

"Your not going to lose me at all Ronniekins, even if you begged me to leave, I'm not going anywhere" I hugged her in return and felt the nausea in my stomach. I felt the words on my tongue, I was going to word vomit. I tried to hold it in.

"Please come with me to California Nessa, move in with me after the tour, be with me always" I stumbled fastly, as the word vomit spewed out of my mouth faster then I ever thought I could produce words. 

"Really ronnie? You want me to go with you?!" she smiled excitedly, I knew shed follow me anywhere. 

"Yea, I do, I want to see where our relationship goes Nessa, and you deserve so much more, and better than Vegas" She pulled me into a kiss as I smiled into it, she smiled back and I felt our teeth touch. I couldn't wait for her to live with me . 

"YOU ALL KICKASS LETS MAKE THIS AN AMAZING FINAL SHOW OF WARPED TOUR!" I yelled into the microphone . The crowd went wild, they were like puppets in my hands. 

"that's why they call me the king of the music scene !" I sang slowly as Nessa walked on stage and took up close shots of us and shots behind me . The crowd cheered as they recognized her, the videos of me and her over the course of the tour were very popular and our instagram photos were off the charts popular! people wanted to us

Jacky went into his solo I grabbed Nessa's camera lens and opened my mouth wide like I was screaming at it . She smiled and took my picture. 

She walked over to Ryan and stood on his drum set and snapped some shots of him, he was grinning from ear to ear, all the guys were always smiling when Nessa was around. Everyone adored her. I adored her most of all.

"Thank you for coming out tonight everyone ! It's been really FUCKING rad ! Until next year my friends" I kissed my hand and then threw it to the sky, the last crowd of the tour hovered around longer then most, no one liked when warped your was over. It was An amazing experience and a life style you get used to. I was sad to leave it behind . 

"hey baby" I cooed to Nessa and hugged her getting her drenched in my sweat 

"grosss! But it's ok" she smiled at me and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. 

"IM TOTALLY GONNA BEAT YOU TO THE SHOWER THIS TIME!"  Ryan shouted flying right past me and onto the bus as quick as he could.

"fuck. I guess it's cold water for me today" I laughed as Nessa eyes got wide.

"Me too since you got YOUR sweat all over me!" she lightly hit my bare chest 

"you never complain in the bedroom" I whispered in her ear and kissed her neck. She giggled, my favorite giggle. My heart melted as she swatted me away and kissed my nose a routine I loved
 
"Stop it Ronnie!" she giggled some more as I kissed her face all over and picked her up, carrying her back to the bus.

"Put me down ! I can't breathe !" she laughed trying to catch her breath 

"Nope! Your gonna stay up there." I stated as she flailed her legs as we came onto the bus. 

I walked to the back room and dropped her right on the bed. She pouted at me and crossed her arms. 

"Whattttt?" I dragged out cutely giving her my 'seductive' look

"I dont want this tour to end " she said sadly and looked at her camera in her hands

"There will be more tours, and your going to get to photograph them again!" I smiled at her and joined her on the bed 

"You promise ?" she pleaded giving me her beautiful blue eyes stare

"I promise baby, your gonna be by my side for a long time remember ? California bound baby! " I said excitedly to her 

"Were going to Vegas one more time right ?" she asked looking out the window 

"Just to pack, I already have a place in California all ready to go" she gawked wondering how I pulled that off 

"how is that even possible ?" she stated matter of fact like 

"Well We were in Vegas before Warped tour because I was in the process of moving then" she nodded understanding

"Are you sure you want someone like me living with you?" she looked sad now. I hate when she frowns, she's to pretty to be sad

"Vanessa! Your my girlfriend, and I'm not ready to end our relationship just because I'm moving! I just don't want us to be that far apart. Your not having second thoughts are you ? " I questioned her she seemed to hang on my every word.

"No I'm not having second thoughts Ronnie, but I'm a nobody, I'm just surprised that... I'm what you want" she looked away from me hiding her face, it was a habit of hers. 

"Of course I want you Nessa! Just because your not famous doesn't make you any less desirable to me." I grabbed her hand and she squeezed in return.

"I'm so happy I ran into that alley way that day"She said shyly.  I smiled remembering the moment like it was yesterday 

jacky was about to start his guitar so as I finished the final lyric before it. I looked into the crowd and I caught a door open in the corner of my eye. A bright red headed woman ran through it and stopped dead in her tracks.

I couldn't help but stare at her. She was beautiful and she looked distraught. Jacky took center stage snapping me out of my gaze of the red headed stranger.
I went to my body guard that I've known since I was young,

"Hey Bruce, is it possible for you to get that woman right there?" I pointed at the red headed woman he nodded, acknowledging he knew who I was pointing at

"is it possible you could convince her to come to my room?" I raised one eye brow at him, he winked at me and made his way to the crowd. 

Jacky's solo ended and Ryan started playing 'im not a vampire' I started dancing around to the beat and as I looked to the side stage I saw Bruce had got the beautiful stranger to follow him, I winked at her dramatically as she stared up at me. She didn't seem to pleased.

"HI MY NAME IS RONNIE IM AN ADDICT!" 

The crowd replied "HEY RONNIE"

I just wanted to Finnish this set and get to that girl, she.... Bothered me in a way . How could she look so uninterested ?
 
I closed my eyes and couldn't believe how silly I sounded then, but I'm glad I thought with my second head that night. if you know what I mean because Nessa is the best thing to ever stumble into bed with me. 

"I'm glad you did to Vanessa, I truly am" I kissed her forehead and rubbed her back

I never thought I'd be with a girl that was just like me

I heard my phone go off as Nessa laid her head on my shoulder. I saw a text from my trusty body guard. 

- He's waiting for you here Ron, I hope you know what your doing. I'd think twice about coming back to Vegas
From : Bruce 

I have to go back ... Skipping town isn't enough to get The Ace off my back I have to face him,  what did I get myself into?

Nessa yawned and dozed off on my lap.