Blood

Blood.

Chapter 14.

Beep. Beep. Beep.
I was awaken by that annoying sound that made me want to kill myself only realizing that I was already dead.
How did I know?
I didn't have to be a genius to guess it. Everything around me was covered in nothing but darkness and a non interrupted silence, the only thing breaking that suffocating silence? My own thoughts...and that annoying beeping noise that didn't seem to stop at all,not even for a second.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
So that was what death felt like huh? All those stories about heaven and hell all of them just stories. Though where I was could be called hell,it was like I was in a black room unable to do anything but think,think about all the mistakes I had made,happy and sad moments I had lived. A life so small but yet so eventful,all my memories of my family or the family that we used to be before my mom passed away and my dad became the monster who gave me life but also the one who took it away,passing before my eyes. Memories full of happiness,pain and misery followed by memories of my dear grandmother to whom I didn't have a chance to say goodbye too before the monster I called my father sucked the life out of me. A grandmother who was always there for no matter what,even in the hospital bed when there was a chance she would die all she cared about was what would happen to me if she did. Finally memories of Gerard,Mikey and Ray. People who even though were in my short life for a brief period of time they managed to change it and from a life full of pain and nothing else they made me have hope of a better future. They opened my heart and mind to friendship and love. Gerard was everything I wanted to be and everything I was at the same time. He knew me more than I knew myself even though we knew eachother for just a few weeks and only were together for a few hours.
I was happy for one thing and that was that I got to tell him goodbye,i got to let him know how much I loved him and that he had saved my life in a way.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
When I had finished thinking about everything that happened to me I was left with only silence.
How was I supposed to stay like this forever? Or Would I really stay in this dark silence forever? Was I supposed to think about everything I had lived and then after a while I would be silenced? Like really dead,not able to feel,see or hear anything?
All those thoughts were running through my head not leaving me to rest in peace if that was what I needed to do.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
What the hell was that thing?????
It was so annoying and always the same rhythm. It was starting to get on my nerves really. I was about to explode.
That endless darkness was what drove me more and more crazy. I couldn't even see my own body,it surely felt like I was seeing,if that could be called seeing,through my mind and not my eyes. I could relive any memory that I wish but when I was willing to see where exactly I was at the moment that was not possible by any means.
Suddenly out of nowhere I felt a familiar loving touch on my arm and even thought I couldn't see it,i was absolutely sure that someone did touch my hand.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Overwhelmed by that loving touch I tried and tried as hard as I could to see if I could maybe feel it again. Just one more time to make sure it was true and I wasn't imagining things.
It took all my will power and concentration but I did feel it again,not only the feeling of touch but I was able to hear someone crying softly. That cry was a bullet in the heart for me,it pained me so much that if I wasn't already dead I would have did just then and there. The cry continued and the more I tried the better I heard it. Soon enough the cry become a whisper and when it did I was more socked than I have ever been. It was Gerard!
It was his voice,it was him who was crying but could that ever be possible. Was there a chance that I was not dead? Or at least not entirely?
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Of course! How did I not think about that before? This annoying beeping noise,it had to be a heart monitor or whatever they are called. I was not dead. No I was still alive. But why couldn't I see or move? I was only able to hear and feel,i could also think so....
My thoughts were cut off by Gerard's sweet but filled with pain voice. This time talking a bit louder that before enabling me to listen to what he was saying.
“Why Frankie? Why did that monster did that to you?”he cried. I felt him touch me again but this time something wet hit my skin. It was his tears and it killed me to even phantom how he was feeling. I know for sure if it was him in my place I wouldn't be able to function without him.
“Please Frankie wake up. I need you by my side baby,i can't do it without you. Please wake up.”he said and I tried,i tried as hard as I could possible try to open my eyes or move my hands,to saw him that I would listen to what he was saying and I guess let him know that I want do what he was asking me to do.
But as much as I tried,it all seemed worthless as nothing worked in the end.
“Please.”he whispered and I felt his head lay on my hand.
What could I do? I really wanted to wake up and hug him,tell him its okay and that everything was gonna be okay,that he wasn't gonna lose me and we would be happy together.
But I couldn't wake up.
And that's when it hit me. An idea that if it work it could show him that I was listening and that I was trying my best to wake up. If I could only make my heart beat faster,to show him at least that sign then,then there was a chance I would be able to actually wake up.
I focused on the beeping noise that all of a sudden did not seem not one bit annoying. I tried and tried,i focused with all my might and in the end...it worked!!!
I was able to make my heart beat faster even if it was for a second,he still heard it. I felt his head leave my arm and I swear if I could see him right now,i am sure he would have a hope in his eyes that would magnetize everyone withing distance.
“Frankie? You hear me?”he asked and I did that trick with my heart once more answering to his question.
“Oh God Frank.”he said,his voice full of shock.
“You really can hear me. Please Frankie try to shake your hand or...or open your eyes. Please give it a try for me I know you can. Especially after this.”i heard him and suddenly I found a power within me that I didn't know it existed. I tried and tried for a few time without success but I never gave up and finally I managed to do it. Not only did I move my had but I also opened my eyes. I woke up from that terrible darkness and I was more than thankful about it. Nothing could compare to that awful dark veil.
“Gee?”i whispered. It was so hard to actually talk out loud when I had been silenced for a long,long time.
“Oh Frankie.”he said and attracted me with a hug.
“Gee...you're hurting me.”i chocked out. When the words actually sank in he relished me and shot me an apologetic slash worried look.
“Oh my God I am so sorry,i didn't me too. Are you hurt. Of course you are hurt. Should I get a nurse? Yeah,yeah I should do that.”he said talking in the velocity of light.
“Gee relax please.”was all that managed to come out of my mouth as my throat was dry. I needed some water and some painkillers as my entire body was swelling in tremendous pain.
“Sorry”he muttered and pressed a red button that was next to the heart monitor.
“I am so happy you are back Frankie,i really thought I was gonna lose you. I beg you please don't ever,ever do that to me again.”he said in a now calmer tone of voice and sat back down to one of those faded orange chairs that were beside me.
A river of tears was streaming down both of our faces. We sat there in silence taking in eachother happy that we were reunited.
“Gee please don't cry. I am not leaving you I promise.”i said soothingly and he leaned in connecting his lips with mine. That exact moment I felt safe again,a feeling that I certainly did not expect to feel,no after what that monster of a father had done to me.
When that soothing kiss was over I glanced down at my bandaged arm that covered that filthy scar the monster decided to leave on my pure skin.
“What happened to him?”i asked venom stinking my words.
Gerard was about to answer me when the hospital room door opened and a young lady in a nurses costume walked in.
“I see you are finally awake Mr Iero.”she said nodding her head with a fake smile on her face.
I simply nodded my head not wanting to speak a word to no one other than Gerard.
“Your brother here didn't leave your side all week since you got here.”she said glancing between me and Gerard who was holding my hand.
“Umm...he is not my brother. He is actually my boyfriend and did you just say he was here for a week?”i asked surprised.
She looked at me with a disgusted face and whispered “Faggots” before nodding her head.
“Did you say something?”i asked even though I had heard her.
“No. Well it seems like you are out of danger now and your wound are healing properly,we will keep you here of maybe another two or three days,see how you are doing and then you can go home.”the bitchy face said,handed me some painkillers and left the room,leaving me and Gerard alone.
I was lost in my thoughts for a while but the I remembered what that homophobe had said about Gee not leaving my side so I decided to ask him and find out.
“Did you really?”i asked looking at Gerard with a surprised look on my face.
“Did what?”he was playing dump but I could tell he knew what I was talking about.
“Did you really stay here that long without leaving my side?”i asked again looking at his eyes trying to find the answer there.
“I was worried and I didn't want to leave you alone as your grandma couldn't be here. Besides Its my fault you are in here,if I wasn't the pussy I am and actually stood up to your dad you wouldn't be here.”he said and looked at his feet feeling rather sorry for no reason actually.
“Please sugar don't think like that,it's not your fault Tarantula did what he did. I don't want you to feel that way.”i told him looking deep into his hypnotizing hazel eyes that always made my insides feel warm and fuzzy.
“Tarantula?”Gerard questioned not getting my reference to my so called dad.
“Yeah,i think I am gonna call him that. After all tarantulas are indeed my biggest fear but also great enemies of mine.”
Admitting something like that,was difficult for me,it was the moment I fully realized that the person who I once called my father,my blood was now my biggest fear and enemy.
My mind couldn't comprehend what could possibly happen if he got near me again.
I was taken away from my thoughts by Gee responding to what I had said before zoning out.
“Well,it suits him that's for sure. And I find spiders rather obscene actually.”he said while his hand,which was holding mine,was rubbing small circles on my palm.
“Enough about that for today. Just want to spend the rest of the day with you without tarantula intruding our lives.”I said leaning my head back to the pillow.
“Agree. God I missed you so much.”was all he said before his lips found mine and during that moment all the bad things that happened to us vanished leaving me alone to enjoy getting kissed by the most beautiful and perfect person. Getting lost in the touch of his lips and feeling electricity all over my body.
“Gee baby,as much as I want to keep on kissing that perfect slimy lips of yours I have to ask you one more thing.”
Gerard sighed playfully but nodded his head.
“Go on.”
“Do Mikey and Ray know what happened?”i asked.
That question had really been bothering me and I wanted to know. I mean if they did knew,which they most likely the did,i wasn't sure how they would take all of that stuff.
“They knew you were here and your condition but I didn't tell them the reason exactly. I though that was something you should do. And before you ask I texted Mikey that you had woken up and he says they are going to come by tomorrow so that could be a great opportunity for you to tell them if you wish to.”