Accept Me or Except Me

I pulled back slowly and glanced casually at the doorway, not expecting to see mom standing there. She looked hopeful but defeated at the same time. She had her blonde hair clipped back and she was wearing a blue, silky blouse and some damn ugly beige pants. These were not your ordinary ugly pants. I cringed at the sight of them. Dammit, I’m so gay.

After pulling away from Danny completely, I almost choked out, “M-mom?”

Mom walked in to reveal that she had a suitcase with her, and the deep blue matched the color of her blouse. It went well, to be fair, with the beige purse that matched her pants. “Lee, honey… I had a little quarrel with your father.”

The suitcase suddenly made sense now. “He kicked you out?”

Danny, looking too protective, was fuming when he saw how upset I was. “I’m going over there, and I’m gonna -”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Mom said hurriedly. “I shouldn’t have thought I could stay here, I’ll go now…”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Mrs Nickelson, it’s not that I don’t want you here, it’s just –” Danny started.

“No, Annie, stay here as long as you have to,” Danny’s mom suddenly appeared. “I’d actually quite like that.”

Mom’s face brightened.

“Besides, we can discuss this months’ book club book early. What is it, Wuthering Heights?”

Mom, who clutched her purse tightly, blushed and nodded. I saw the corner of ’50 Shades of Grey’ sticking out, and I questioned the truth behind the question in my head. I let it go, but the thought of Dad just kicking Mom out like that because she disagreed with him because…

“Mom, what was the argument about, anyways?” I asked with way too much curiosity.

“It was about Daniel, honey. I think you should be able to date who you want, Lee. You’re a pretty smart kid, darling.”

My legs immediately sprang into action as I leaped across the room to hug my mom. She was surprised, but hugged me back protectively.

“Can you accept me now, Mama?” I hadn’t called her ‘Mama’ since I was six.

“Yes, honey. He seems like a nice guy, but I wish you didn’t keep disappearing all of a sudden.”

“I’m sorry Mom, but Danny really makes me happy.” On cue, Danny came and wrapped his arm around my waist.

“I know, honey,” my Mom almost cooed, with an expression that matched one of looking at cute cat video. Danny’s mom’s face viewed the same image.

“Mate, where are you?”

I almost jumped at the sound of Laurence’s voice. Danny lunged and quickly retrieved his iPhone.

“Sorry, pal. Emotional moment going on,” Danny chuckled.

“Oh, I have just the song for that!

Did you even notice me,
Staring at you in class?
Not taking the bus
So I can walk and take in that fine ass,

My eyes are taking their tour
Of you because I am struggling
‘Cause for what I have there is no cure:
Loving from afar

Why won’t you notice me?
All the subtle hints minus the confidence,
Why can’t you be with me?
Because of your conscience?
Because you aren’t gay?
Because you already have the perfect girl –
My god, the list goes on and on

And on and on
And on and on
Because I love you
No matter what you do
Nothing can stop my inevitable fate
Of being alone ‘cause I am here,
Loving from afar.
Loving from afar
Still stuck here,
Loving from afar.”

“That was beautiful,” Mom said with a tear in her eye. It really was magnificent. She and Danny’s mom shuffled into the other room.

“Didn’t you finish that just now?” Danny asked, confused.

“This part never got put into the final draft. I just looked at it now and I can’t remember why I cut it. Probably because of the change in structure and the dramatic melody at the end.”

“Maybe it’s because it includes ‘taking in that fine ass’?” Danny chuckled.

“I was going to use ‘arse’, but it didn’t rhyme. Besides, you do not mock a musician, Daniel Jockling, you mock the listener for not understanding the deep meaning behind that musician’s words.”

“What’s the metaphor, then?” I asked.

“It’s not a metaphor, Lee; the deep meaning is the strong appreciation I have for fine arses. There are so many good ones out there that at least one deserves a mention.”

“You are such an idiot,” Danny chimed in.

“I just poured my heart out to you then! I haven’t sung that since… since it actually happened,” he said, his mood dropping slightly.

“We’re sorry,” I reassured him. “You can tell me all about it later. I’ve been there. Then we had sex, and everything was OK. That reminds me, how are you planning this double date tonight?”

“The plans are going swimmingly, my dear Nickelson,” Laurence said in a posh voice, kind of like Sherlock Holmes. “We shall go to a fine establishment which goes by the name of McDonalds and we shall have fries fit for kings!”

I laughed at Laurence. He was so happy, but connected with his feelings. He was like the perfect human being, but not for me. The moment I laid eyes on Danny I knew it’d be hard to fall for someone else, and I was glad I didn’t have to.

It was weird. Laurence and Danny had cheered me up, and even our mothers (excluding Laurence’s, obviously) had stopped me from feeling depressed. I still wanted to know why my dad had flipped like that. I didn’t have time for that right now. I needed to get dressed for our fine outing to the big yellow ‘M’.