Sing Me to Sleep, I'll See You in My Dreams

I got home just as the street lamps were flashing on. Blinking down and illuminating the dark streets with an eerie orange. My footsteps were heavy and slapped the side walk as I trudged through the night.

My conversation didn't go on much further with Alex. After my deep confession things got quiet between us. Not an awkward silence more...comfortable. Both of us wrapped in our own thoughts. But the weird thing was Alex never needed to speak to me for me to feel content and all warm inside. He just had to be there. That's what I loved about him most - how he made me feel. I'd only known the boy for what? Two days? And already he was the only thing on my mind. I don't have a crush on him if that's what you're thinking! I just...admire him? Yeah, admire him. And that's how it's going to stay. I know something about love, it only brings you most uncalled for pain.

As I neared my Uncle's house I could instantly tell it was empty. Good. The whole house was drowned in darkness. No light coming from the windows, nothing moving at all. Clearly my Uncle was spending the night at the pub, not that I was complaining. I ran inside and locked the door behind me before sprinting up the stairs and into my room. I sighed with content and stripped down to my boxers before sliding under my covers and willing sleep to overtake me.

The last thing I thought about before darkness fell over my eyes was Alex.

*****

I awoke with a start. Heart hammering and breathing laboured. Nightmares, don't you hate them? I get them quite regularly but I never seem to remember them. They always seem to end right after...

I shook the thoughts from my fevered brain and squinted to see out the gap between my curtains. Must still be dark out. I turned to face my clock and hit the top so the time lit the room with a sickening highlighter green colour. 7:24 AM. I groaned and rubbed the sleep out my eyes. Might as well get up now.

After my usual routine of getting breakfast, throwing some clothes on and showering I decided to go to Church. It was a Sunday after all.

I'm not particularly religious so to speak, but before my parents passed away they would always take me to Church every Sunday so I could mix with the locals and gain some new friends. I suppose I go just for something to do. To get away from here for a while longer.

As I approached the steps leading to the cold looking Church I looked myself over. Black skinny jeans, Green Day t shirt, black vans. Yup, definitely my Sunday best. When I entered I got a few weird looks, perhaps they were silently judging me for my choice of clothing or maybe they remember the last time I was here. I took an empty seat next to a middle aged woman with her two children near the back and sat in pure silence. Waiting for the service to start. The Priest entered onto the platform in front of the rows of benches and the low hum of whispered conversations died down. The Priest saw me sitting there, his light blue eyes widened sightly and gave me a sad smile, making me shift awkwardly in my seat.

"Welcome everyone. As I look through the crowd I can see some very familiar faces," he stopped to wave to a few elderly people at the front whole merely laughed, "and some new." He looked and me with a slight frown making everyone turn around for a better view. The woman beside me shrank away from the attention and my face went a bright red colour. "I was going to be talking to you all about the benefits of Faith but now...I'll be talking about seeking comfort. This doesn't necessarily mean seeking comfort in faith, but in other people." I loudly swallowed. I've heard all this before from him, back the day when...

"Life is hard. Life is never easy for anyone. Some things, very terrible thing, happen to the most unlikely of people but they just have to get along with it. Some things happen to people and they manage fine, they can push it aside and get on with their life as normal. Others, can't. Sometimes the worst thing live can bring us will push us down and some people can never get back up. These people need to know that we're here for them. We're, I'm, here for anyone who needs to talk, who needs advice. Never be ashamed of your past as it shapes who you are today."

I looked down at my feet as his face turned towards me as he said the last few sentences. The tears stinged my eyes and I tried to blink them away just like I did the day he said those words to me. The day I got my last glimpses at my dead parents. The day I saw them being taken away from me for good. The day of their funeral.