Time to Dance

"Honey, we need to talk." Mom said as I made it to the kitchen for an early breakfast. After the long night everyone had I was surprised to see her up at six a.m.

"Mom, I know. I've messed up. I can't live up to your standards. Since you have been away things have changed. Now that you are back, I know you are trying to protect me but you can't tell me how to live my life." I said grabbing a bowl out of the cabinets for cereal.

"Mom and I are worried for you." Lizzie sleepily replied coming into the kitchen. I grabbed her a bowl and a spoon too.

"So you like to eavesdrop now?" I smiled.

"Alex, we have nightmares about you. You should listen to what mom has to say." Lizzie urged.

"Alex, you are right. I can't tell you how to live your life. I know I wasn't there for you when you became a slayer but that's not my fault. I love you and I don't want to see my eldest daughter hurt somewhere. These nightmares don't go away you know. I've been where you've been before, Alex. I had to deal with you dying once on me, I don't want to see that again." Mom replied handing me the box of Trix cereal and some milk as I sat at the table.

"Mom, I know there a chance I could die again and be really dead this time. I know you are a slayer. I know Lizzie is one and that frightens me. I caused her to be one. I mean Lizzie isn't even eighteen! The point I am trying to say is that this is my fight. I have to be the one to end it soon." I sighed.

"This is my fault. I should have done something sooner. I felt all the warning signs. I tried to keep this family safe but I should have done more. Maybe if I left and found Dimitri before he found us...." I didn't let mom finish.

"Mom, this isn't your fault and I know now why you kept a tight leash on us. You were scared. You saw something was coming. If you left, then you would have been no different than Kat leaving her family. You started to go nuts but the fact that you stayed and chose to keep us safe, I believe saved our family and part of your sanity.

I know I am angry at Sara and I really can't stand her right now but I feel so bad for Micah. I've been thinking about how he lost Kat. He finds his daughter is with a monster and that she wants to be turned. How do you cope with that? I know what he did was wrong to Dad but if Dad has forgiven him then its not my place to judge him." I sighed.

"Since when did you grow up so fast?" Mom smiled as she touched my shoulder. "I am going to find a way to stop Dimitri. I'm not going to let him hurt my girls or this family. I will stop him so you don't have to." Mom replied.

"No mom. We all know this is my fight. I want you to keep training Lizzie. I'm going to need all the help I can get when this big battle comes. And Lizzie I think you are doing a fine job based on what I've heard." I smiled.

"Thanks. I think its so cool how vampires turn into dust! I'm like living in a movie." Lizzie said as I just laughed.

"How close are you with this Jace vampire? I don't like you hanging out with him. I don't trust him." Mom said.

"Mom, she's not dating him, jeeze. He won't hurt her. I know these things." Lizzie answered.

"Jace is trying to redeem himself. He doesn't drink live human blood anymore thanks to me. Jace wants to help. Plus he's saved my life twice."

"But as I recall he tried to kill you once, your father said." Mom spoke up.

"It's in the past." I said.

We all sat there eating our bowls of cereal. When we were done I headed up to my room to change. Mom followed me.

"You can't turn your feelings off overnight. I know he betrayed you but in your heart you still love him." Mom said referring to Nate as I took off the necklace he gave me and laid it on the bed.

"I can't save him." I said as I opened one of my drawers looking for a tank and some cargo shorts. I settled for a gray one with khaki cargos.

"I don't believe that. Love hurts and just when you think you are down and out, something amazing happens and swoops in saving the day. I think Nate is struggling with the brainwash and trying to remember his feelings. Don't give up." Mom said walking out the door of my room so I could change. "Oh, your father and Brendon want to see you. They spent the night at the training house." She said down the hall.

I finished getting ready, placed Nate's necklace back on, and borrowed mom's car to head to the old house. I wondered what Dad and Brendon wanted to see me about. Hopefully, I wouldn't be grilled on last night's events again. I don't want to talk about Nate right now.