Gravity

I tried not to stare as Andy walked out of the dressing room. He was shirtless underneath the vest they had him in. His body had streaks of black makeup, with just enough of his skin to peak through. His blue eyes were once again lined perfectly in eyeliner, and he had a thin line horizontally across his face.

"Where do I go?" He asked, looking around. Quickly, I pulled myself together and managed to pull him across the hallway to the large warehouse where the shoot was set up. There was a white background, which would be edited to add shadowing later. The lights were already burning bright, and the photographer was waiting, "How do I look?" He asked, holding his arms out with a grin.

"Like Andy Biersack. Now go," I smiled and he nodded before heading off to where he was to be positioned.

I watched him as he would send his usual glare at the camera. Sometimes he held a microphone, other times he just balled his hands into fists. His face was flawless. There was nothing wrong with his defined cheekbones, or blue eyes. Even when a strand of hair fell into his eyes, he was still perfect.

I couldn't help but start to think how lucky Kat was. She held Andy's heart in her hands, and she didn't even care. Thousands of girls beat themselves up over the fact that they don't look like Kat. Thousands of girls pity themselves because they don't have Andy Biersack. I found myself not pretty enough. I found myself wishing too much for Andy to be mine. I grew angry thinking of how Kat didn't even realize how lucky she was.

I think what angered me the most was the fact that Kat didn't even try to get Andy. I introduced them at a show in Hollywood. Kat was dying to meet him after she googled the band's name. She didn't even know the other members, or the music. She just wanted to meet Andy. Of course, she had tempted him when she swayed her hips whenever she walked by him. She gave him sultry stares from across the room, and acted so innocent in front of him. So what did he do? He wrote her a letter. She didn't even know what to write back. So I did it for her.

"Hey, you okay?" Andy's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, "You're thinking way too hard about something," He laughed.

"Oh, nothing. You should get dressed. It's already eight," I said, looking at my watch.

He shrugged, "I'm in no hurry to get back," He stated before walking off.

I waited for forty-five minutes as Andy took his makeup off and changed his clothes. I was starting to worry as to why he was taking so long. Still, he came out soon enough and we headed outside. Luckily, there were no fans waiting to deal with him outside. The shoot was on a private lot, and was far too guarded for any fan to get near. I opened the door for him and he turned and glared, "You know girls aren't supposed to open doors for guys," He stated.

I shrugged, "Like I said, it's already eight. We should get back to the hotel. You're going too slow."

"What if I don't want to go back?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Get in the car, Andy," I shoved him and he obliged.

I slid into the truck after him, and politely told the driver to head back to the hotel.

"Actually, there's a coffee shop down the street. Take us there first, please," Andy stated and I turned to him.

"Did you ever think that maybe I'm tired and want to go to sleep?" I asked.

"Then I'll have him drop me off, take you back, then come back and get me," He explained as if he hadn't a care in the world.

"Or you can get coffee at the hotel. We're paying by the hour for this thing," I informed him and he slouched into his seat.

"Kat called me when I was changing. I don't want to go back just yet," He stated softly.

"Oh," I muttered.

"Yeah."

We sat in silence as the driver made his way down the street. We crossed three intersections before we came to the small coffee shop Andy had noticed. We pulled into a parking space and I noticed it was completely dark. Andy wasted no time and getting out of the car and I sighed, "Sorry about him. Woman troubles. I'll bring you back something," I smiled.

"Thanks," He replied and I got out.

I followed through into the door Andy had ducked into and saw him slide into a booth in the back. I walked up to the counter and ordered a hot tea and a muffin. Andy had been fed in the dressing room at both locations, while I hadn't eaten all day. I needed something to hold me before getting back to the hotel. I then returned to the booth, my tea and muffin in hand. I slid into the seat across from him.

He was staring out the window, his face in a scowl. He had a mug in front of him, steam rising from the dark liquid. His hands were cupped around it, his knuckles white. "I thought you were going back to the hotel," He stated and I felt stupid for following. He probably wanted to be alone and I was intruding.

"Sorry. I can head back if you want to be alone."

He turned and shook his head, "I didn't mean it like that," He stated simply and he brought his mug to his lips. "I needed coffee. It's not alcohol, but it'll do," He shrugged. At that moment I realized he wasn't the same. He had been so different this whole day, and in one moment he changed dramatically.

"Are you okay?" I asked and he shrugged.

"She called me and started yelling. She was asking where I was, what was taking so long," He sighed, "Then she jumped into something about trying to apologize to Dee. She says Dee threatened her and tried to push her. She said Ashley saw the whole thing and didn't do anything about it."

"So why don't you want to be around Kat?" I questioned.

"It's been so different since she got here. She's been more tense. Like, she's defending herself or something. I don't know why. Last night she just went too far. I guess I'm more worried than anything. I hope it's nothing to serious, and she's okay. At the same time, it makes me feel like I've gone two years without knowing this side of her."

"Oh," I stated, and took a sip of my tea.

"We tell each other everything," He shrugged, but then smiled, "Her letters always let me see deep inside her soul, you know?" He asked.

My heart stopped, and I couldn't breathe. The cup in my hands no longer burned as my body went numb. His eyes lit up, blue glistening across the table. I was frozen.

"I know she doesn't seem like more than a pretty face around other people, but she's smart. You of all people should know," He smiled.

"Y-yeah," I tried to breathe, but I couldn't.

"The way her mind works. She's told me about her favorite things, and I love it about her. She's my perfect girl."

I wanted to cry out. I wanted to scream at him for being so stupid. How could he possibly think Kat was really the same girl in the letters?

"Sometimes I feel like she's not the same person in her letters," He stated softly. With that, I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to get away. I needed to kick or scream or cry. I had to do something to get away from this reality.

"I have to head back to the hotel. I have things to finish up for tomorrow's concert. Do you need me to send a car to pick you up?" I asked.

He shook his head, "I'm coming with you," He stated. He finished the last of his coffee and stood. I tossed my muffin in my bag, not even hungry anymore. I then went to the counter and ordered a cup of regular coffee for the driver. I didn't finish my tea, just walked out. This time, I didn't open the door for Andy. I just got inside and gave the driver his coffee. I didn't want to be around Andy. I just wanted to cry.

We were silent the short minutes back to the hotel. It felt like an eternity, though. I leaned my head against the window, fighting back tears. When we reached the hotel I got out, and started to head to the elevators, "Hey!" Andy called before I felt his hand on my shoulder. I turned around, avoiding his eyes, "Thanks for today. You made it a lot easier," He smiled.

"That's my job," I managed to say before turning back around and heading upstairs to the room.

I fumbled, hands shaking, to take my key out of my wallet. I slipped it in the lock and pushed the door open. Ashley, CC, and Dee were all there watching a movie. I shut the door quickly behind me and they looked up. "Hey! How was your date with Mr. Perfect?" Dee asked.

I wasted no time in running over and tackling her. I threw my arms around her, and I cried. I cried harder than I had ever cried before. I sobbed as she rubbed my back, not bothering to ask what was wrong because she knew I wouldn't be able to speak. I just choked out every ounce I had in me. I felt Ashley at my side, stroking my hair, and I felt CC lean his head on my shoulder, his arm holding me to him.

What made me sick was the fact that I still wished it were Andy's arms were around me.

-

"You took forever," Kat stated when Andy walked into the room. Andy looked over at her in the bed. She was wearing his favorite. Small boy shorts and one of his shirts.

"It was a long day," He sighed and tossed his things on the floor before walking over to her. He sat down on the side of the bed, bringing a hand to her face. "I missed you," He whispered and placed a small peck on her lips.

"I bet I missed you more," She smiled.

Andy thought nothing more, and placed his arms around her before falling into the bed next to her. He wedged himself into the covers, not caring that he was still in tight black pants and a shirt. He just held her. He didn't know what else to do. He still felt something was very, very, wrong and he didn't know how else to fix it.

He figured the answer was to just love her.