Lost in This Hell

“Im Hungry.”

“You’re always hungry, Zacky.”

“Fuck you, Johnny.”

“No fuck you.”

“Oh shut the fuck up the both of you.”

“Oh come on Leana.”

“No enough now Zacky.”

My neck is really starting to hurt me. It’s like watching a tennis match.

I have been at the Avenged Sevenfold studio for about 2 hours now. I haven’t laughed this much in so long. I haven’t really talked to anyone besides Leana and Brian. I would also get Jimmy jumping into my head to make fun of his family. But Zacky is right about something, it has been to long since I ate a meal and I was starving. I looked away from Zacky and Leana to see Johnny texting someone, Brian screaming at his guitar and Matt leaning against the wall laughing at Brian. I start feeling bad for Brian so I slowly walk over to Brian and everyone stops what they are doing to follow me with their eyes. I place a hand on the neck of Brian’s guitar and he shoots his head up to look at me.

“Stop its only going to make it worst on yourself if you keep on doing this. Just come back to it later.”

He shakes his head at me and looks down at his guitar.

“No I have to do it now.”

“Says who?”

Brian looks up at me with a smirk on his face.

“You’re trying to get me fired aren’t you?”

I laugh and smirk back at him.

“No one is good enough to replace you as lead guitar. You’re Synyster Gates, you’re irreplaceable.”

Brian smiles softly at me and puts his guitar on its stand. He pulls me by my waist onto his lap and he holds me to his chest. I lean my head on his shoulder and start to play with his tattooed fingers. I feel him swaying the roller chair back and forth. It really is making me sleepy.

“Can we go get food or something? Im sorry but I really don’t want to watch Brian and Alexa cuddle.” I look up at Zacky and poke my tongue out at him. He makes a cute/funny face at me and does his stupid dance of waving his arms around. Johnny kicks out his foot and Zacky went crashing to the ground. We all laugh when Johnny jumps up and run out of the building with Zacky running after him. Brian stands up and his arm goes around my shoulders again. We follow Leana and Matt out of the building. I laugh louder than before when I see Johnny on the ground, Zacky sitting on his chest while holing Rocky in front of Johnny face trying to get him to pee on Johnny but Rocky is licking the shit out of Johnny’s face and is ignoring Zacky.

“Ha not even a dog would listen to you, Zee.” Brian laughs loudly and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. I steal one from him when he wasn’t looking, but I get caught when I try to pry his lighter out of his hands. “Hey you could’ve just asked.”

“Well yea, but where’s the fun?” Brian smirks down at me and kisses the top of my head. He lights both of our cigarettes and I lean my head on his chest watching as Matt now joined in on the picking on Johnny fun.

Again with the picking on the short person.

“Well yea Sweetheart, it’s what we do. But don’t worry no one is going to make fun of you.”

I smile at Jimmy’s words again relaxing when he says the things I need to hear the most. That man will never let me think of anything bad.

“No I won’t because you should never think badly about yourself. You are a beautiful, kind, sweet, cute girl and you are going to be with someone who will love you and protect you. Just like I love you.”

I get some tears in my eyes when Jimmy said he loved me.

I love you too, Jimmy.

“I will always be here for you, my sweet.”

You really are the best, Jimmy.

“Hey what’s wrong?” I looked up at Brian’s concerned face when he whispers to me.

“Nothing just thinking of some stuff.”

He sees I don’t want to tell him about it but I really do. I can’t though because Jimmy said it’s not time to. Brian wipes away some of the tears that fell and hugged me to him. I threw away my cigarette and hug him tightly back.

Is Brian going to be the one how will love me always?

“You will have to wait and see, Sweetheart. I can’t tell you everything.”

I nodded my head and hugged Brian tighter.