Lost in This Hell

“Didn’t I see you yesterday?” I smiled up at Kat Von D and nodded. “But weren’t you with Johnny yesterday and now you’re with Matt. So which one are you dating?”

I look down blushing and mutter a no one.

“What you really aren’t dating one of them?” I shook my head and played with my skirt. Kat grabs my hand and pulls me into the back room. She slams the door in Matt’s face and pushed me in a chair. “Ok wanna tell me everything?”

I looked up at her conflicted. On one hand I wanted to tell her but at the same time I didn’t.

“Its ok, Lexxie. I won’t tell anyone but if you don’t want to tell me you don’t have too.”

“I do want to tell you, I just don’t want to relive it again.”

Kat nodded her head and gave me and friendly hug. I hugged her back and sniffled a little bit.

“Its ok, hunni no one is going to hurt you anymore and if they do I will kick their asses.” I giggled and let her go. “So do you want to date one of the guys?”

“I do but I don’t want to be hurt by another guy again.”

“I understand hunni. If you ever need me call me. Here is my number call me whenever. I will always answer for you.” I hug her tightly and lean my head on her shoulder. “Well let’s get you belly button pierced.”

“I kinda also want the bar in my ear.” Kat smiled while shaking her head and pushed me over to the chair. She quickly pierces my skin and cleans them for me. She tells me how to care for them, kisses my forehead and walk out of the back room. I quickly follow her and looked up at Matt to see a huge dimpled grin on his face.

“You look good with all the metal.”

Kat smiles at his words and looks at me from head to toe.

“Doesn’t she?”

“Yea and she is already coming out of her shell. It’s amazing.” I smile and hug Matt’s waist. I let go to get my purse so I could pay but Matt beat me to it and paid for my two new piercings.

“Now little missy, I don’t want to see you in my shop for a tattoo or piercings for at least 2 weeks.” I giggled but nodded my head when I saw how serious she looked. I hug Kat goodbye and walk out of her shop holding hands with Matt. We get into the car and Matt looks at me when I sit down in the driver’s seat.

“So now what?”

I smile and pulled out into traffic.



I walk in the front door of Mommas house with Matt right behind me. We were still laughing at Matt failing at the baseball game at the carnival. I hold the pink monkey; Matt won me at the shooting game, tightly to my chest and look up at Matt.

“I had a lot of fun today.” I smile at Matts words.

“Me 2 it was fun getting away from everything.”

“Would you be mad if I did something?”

“It depends on what you do.”

Matt says nothing but lean his face down. His lips lightly press against mine and I kiss him back. I let go of the monkey and wrap my arms around Matt’s neck. Matt’s arms snake around my waist and pull me to his chest. I sigh when I felt Matt’s tongue lick my bottom lip asking for entrance but when I was going to open my mouth for him I remembered something.

I shove Matt away from me and slap him across the face.

“What was that for?” Matt brings a hand up to his cheek.

I stormed away from him and ran up to my room with tears falling from my eyes. I throw myself onto my bed and sob loudly. I felt my bed droop and felt that person lay next to me. I smelt Momma perfume and I curled myself in her arms. Momma softly rubs my back and whisper that nothing is going to hurt me anymore. I shake my head and kept sobbing.

“What did Matt do, sweetie?”

“He kissed me.” I sobbed out to her and bury my face in her neck.

“But sweetie that a good thing.”

“No its not.”

“And why is that, sweetie?”

“He never finalized his divorce from Val. Leana, Matt is still married.”