Lost in This Hell

“Ah!!!!!”

I screamed and jumped into Brian’s open arms. I hid my face into his chest scared as shit. I have been at Brian’s since 12 in the afternoon; it was not 10 at night. We were now watching all of our favorite movies. But I don’t like Brian’s movies at all.

“Oh come on, the movie isn’t that bad.” I feel Brian run his hands over my back to comfort me.

“Yes it is, I hate all the SAW movies, and they are creepy and gross.” My voice is muffled by his shirt.

“Aw come on kitten, I got you.” His arms tighten around my body and I already feel safer. I sigh and snuggle deeper into his embrace. My face is still hidden but I jump every time I heard someone scream in pain. “Relax Kitten, it’s only a movie.”

“But it’s a scary movie.” I hug Brian’s arm and dig my nails into his arm when I saw the reflection of the movie in the window. I bury my face into his neck and whimper.

“Aw ok ok ok, I will turn off the movie.”

“No you like the movie, I don’t want to ruin it for you.”

“Kitten, you are scared shitless and I already saw this movie. Also you are more important than a stupid movie.” I sigh in relief when the movie is shut off but I don’t let go of Brian since it was way too dark for me. I jumped when I heard the first crash of thunder. I whimper and cry lightly. “Are you scared of thunder, Kitten?” Brian’s voice was soft and light but it doesn’t help me. I nod whimpering and push myself closer to Brian’s warm body. “Aw Kitten, its ok. I would never let it hurt you.”

I look up to look at Brian but I couldn’t see him, till a flash of lighting shown from the sky. Brian looked so beautiful in that light. He looks all tough and scary but at the same time he looked soft and gentle. I smile up at him and he just looks down at me. I felt his hand on my cheek, I leaned my face onto his hand before placing my hand over his. Brian leans his face closer to mine and just when we were about to kiss, the doorbell rang.

Brian groaned loudly and placed me on the couch. He stood and walked over to the door. I followed right behind him. Pinkly, Brian’s cute white Maltese came running up to me. I bent down and picked her up in my arms. Rocky came running in right behind her and stood by my side. Brian flicks on the outside light and opens the door. I gasp when I saw a sopping wet Matt standing on Brian’s porch. Matt looks down at me with sad eyes, I look down avoiding them. I walk back into the living room with the dogs following me. I heard soft whispers of Brian and Matt talking so I turned on the TV and put on Scooby Doo.

I sat there watching on of my favorite cartoon with Rocky and Pinkly for about 20 minutes till both Brian and Matt walked into the room. I looked up at the two of them before going back to watch my cartoons.
“Kitten, Matt wanted to talk to you about something.”

I nodded my head still watching TV. Brian sighs; he grabs the remote and shuts off the TV. I sighed heavily and turned to look up at Brian.

“Please Kitten, just listen to him.” I shook my head and looked down at Pinkly. She looked up at me with her cute brown eyes. I just have a weird feeling that she knows what im feeling. I hug her and kiss her doggy head; I get my cheek licked in return. Matt clears his throat and I reluctantly look up at him with emotionless eyes. Matt flinches when my brown eyes look into his hazel ones.

“Alexa, im sorry. I really am.” I place Pinkly onto the couch and stand up.

“You know what I listened to guys tell me how sorry they are that they hurt me but not even a day later they would hurt me again. I came here to start over; I am not going to let you fuck around with my feelings. My brothers did that enough when I was growing up, I do not need you to do what they did to me.” I was crying by the time I finished. I crashed back down onto the couch and curled up into a ball. I don’t know which one tried to come near me but both dogs growled at him and Pinkly wiggled herself into my lap. She places her head on my chest and looks up at me.

I peek out a little bit from under my hair when the front door opens. I watch as Momma, Johnny, Zacky and two guys I never met walked into the living room with some lady I have never met either. my mother looked like she was just crying and my heart breaks some more. But I get angry; I wanted to know who dared hurt my momma. She walks up to Matt and slaps him across his face before sitting next to me and places an arm around my hunched back.

“I told you not to come here Matt; we didn’t want you near her.” Zacky stands in front of Matt with his arms crossed.

“All of you are treating my husband like shit of some bitch you don’t know.” I snap my head up to look at the lady I don’t know. She looks kind of familiar and I remember her as Valery Sanders, Matt’s wife.

“What the fuck did you just call my daughter?” Momma stands up from her place on the couch.

“Oh my god Leana, she is not your daughter. She is just some slut wanting to get famous by using the band.” Momma walks up to her and slaps Valery across the face. Valery’s head snaps to left and she holds her cheek. I place Pinkly back on the couch. Valery snaps her head at Momma and lifts her hand to slap her but I was faster. I push Momma behind me and grabbed Valery’s wrist.

“You can talk shit about me all you want but don’t you dare touch my mother.”

“She is not your mother, you little bitch. You don’t belong here. This is my family not yours.” I smirked up at her evilly and laughed darkly.

“Oh yea if they are you’re family, then why did your HUSBAND kiss me last week?”

My smirk grows when she screeches. Momma pulls me back from Valery and went to step in front of me but I stop her. I let my brothers abuse me for years without standing up for myself. And I would rather go back there before I ever let this bitch try and intimidate me. im not backing down anymore. I will stand up for myself. Im done being the weak little girl I was when I was in New York but it’s time for a change.
Valery lungs at me and I catch her by her shoulders and push her away from me. Everyone in the room looks at me amazed. I shake my head. You should never judge a book by its cover. Just because im small and shy doesn’t mean I can’t fight.

Valery stands in front of me and slaps me across the face. I clench my fist and let it soar across her face. Valery goes down holding her nose while it drips with blood.

“Don’t ever say they aren’t my family and especially don’t you dare say the Leana isn’t my mother.” I kicked her in the ribs before walking upstairs and into Brian’s room. I lie on his bed and take off my slippers and socks. I go under the covers and place my head on the pillow.

I heard doors open and close before I heard cars starting. I didn’t hear the door open but I did feel someone get in bed next to me. an arm goes over my waist pulling me towards their body. I look down at the hand that’s holding mine. MARL is tatted onto the knuckles. I turned my head to look at Brian’s beautiful face that was lying on the other pillows. Brian opens his eyes and we look at each other. I detangle my fingers from his. I grab his chin with my now free hand. I pull his face towards mine and I kiss him fully on the lips.