Lost in This Hell

“So what is it going to be? Are you going to listen or stay here?”

“I will listen to you.” I swear all of this shit in my life is making me crazy.

“Good now go to the closest store and buy hair dye.”

I nod my head and stand up from the ball I was on my bed. I grab the side of my bed when I almost went tumbling down. I carefully walk to my desk and grab my wallet, keys, phone and sunglasses. I place my aviators over my bloodshot eyes and walk out of my room.

“Daddy im going to the store, I will be back soon.” I kiss my father on the cheek and run out of the house. I get into the Charger my father bought me on my 17th birthday. My mom didn’t want him to get me that knowing if I had a car I would never come back. I get to the CVS by my house and walk in. I nod my head at my brother’s friend, Mike Zee, and kept walking to the hair dye. I look at all of the colors and I couldn’t deice between purple or red.

“Go with purple, red is one of your favorite colors.”

I nodded my head to Jimmy’s voice and pick up 3 boxes of Perfectly Plumtasic. I roll my eyes at the stupid name and got on the line.

“You’re gonna dye your hair?” I looked up at Mike’s dazed brown eyes and nodded knowing he won’t remember this once he is over his high. “Why would you do that, your hair is perfect now.” He touches my hair and I flinch at his touch.

“I want something new.” I say quietly to him and walk up to the counter to pay. I wave bye to Mike and quickly walk to my car. I drive home listening to Jimmy sing about stabbing some bitch 50 times. A Little Piece of Heaven is my all-time favorite song from Avenged Sevenfold. I never knew why I love this song so much but I do and it calms me down every time I listen to it. I shut and lock my car once I get home. I walk inside and run up the steps to my room. I place my newly bought hair dye in my closet and go downstairs. I walk into the kitchen to see that my mom has came home from work.

My mom is a principal at a school in Brooklyn. Sometimes I don’t see her for days and im okay with that. Me and my mom don’t really get along that much anymore, since I blame her for a lot of the shit that has happened to me. She always just stood there not doing anything. She would never call the police on my brothers since they are her baby boys. They have always been her favorite no matter what they did. My dad would kick them out of the house but my mom would always keep the door unlocked for them to come back in.

I kiss my dad on his cheek while he cooks and get a bottle of water out of the fridge. I jump up and sit on the counter near the stove, watching my dad make something for lunch.

“Whatcha making, daddy?”

“Fried mash potatoes.” I make an ewwie face and hop off of the counter when Jojo walks into the kitchen.

“Hey.” Me and my dad nod our head at Joe and continued to mess around.

“How was work?” My mom gets up and kisses my brothers cheek before handing him a can of Pepsi. I shook my head and mouthed mama’s boy to my father. He chuckles and my mother looks towards us. We go back to looking down at the pan full of whatever dad put in with the mash potatoes.

“You eat weird.” I say poking the cooking food with a fork.

“You look weird.” My father says poking my stomach. I stick my tongue out at him. “Baby.” My father says while rolling his eyes at me.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” I kiss my father’s cheek and walk outside. “Im gonna go to Brittany’s house.”

“Be back for dinner.” I heard my father call out to me while I close the door. I start up my Charger and blast Hollywood Undead’s Comin’ in Hot. I drive about 25 minutes before I pull up to my best friends’ house.

Brittany is a year older than me. She has been my best friend since the 6th grade. She knows everything about me. And I mean everything. She has been telling me to move in with her since she moved out of her parents’ house to go live with her boyfriend of 4 years, Danny. I would love to move in with her but I don’t want to be like the third wheel with her and Danny. I know without a shadow of doubt she will support me with what im going to do but she is going to be a worry wart and call me every day.
I smile when I saw my best friend come out of her house. I get out of my car and walk up to her. We hug and she kisses my cheek before pulling me into her house.

“So what’s up?” I wave hi to Danny before following Brit into the kitchen.

“Im gonna leave.” I know I can’t waste any time putting off telling her. She would get it out of me anyways.

“When?” she doesn’t even look up at me while she cuts up veggies for her and Danny’s dinner.

“I don’t know yet.” I grab a knife and help her cut up everything.

“What do you mean you don’t know yet?”

“He hasn’t told me yet.” She stops cutting and looks at my confused.

“Who hasn’t?”

“Jimmy.”

“Jimmy? As in The Rev?” I nodded my head at her and she puts down the knife. “Baby, he died.” She says slowly while placing a hand over mine that held the knife.

“I know that, silly.” I look up at her and smile.

“Baby, he is not telling you what to do.”

“Yes he is. I hear his voice in my head. He’s helping me.” I tell her with a sad look on my face. Why doesn’t she believe me?

“Because you are the only one who can hear me.”

I nodded my head to Jimmy’s words and look at my best friend.

“Baby, do you really think you are hearing him talk to you?” I nodded my head at her and she nodded back. “Then okay.” I tilt my head to the right and look at her confused. “You believe that The Rev is talking to you, then I believe but I want you to call me right away if something bad happens.” I smile and squeal happily. I jump up and hug my best friend tightly. She laughs and hugs me back.

“Sorry to break this up but Alexa your dad just called, your dinner is done and he wants you home.” I nod my head at Danny and hug the both of them before walking out to my car.

I am so glad that Brittany believes me, but I have a feeling that she doesn’t fully believe me but that’s fine. Im leaving this place any way.