If You Can't Hang, Then There's the Door

When kellin had woke me up and I had gotten a few hours of sleep, the food the hospital brought wasn't bad but there was a lot of it and they made sure I ate it all. Shortly after my meal I had been hooked up to a few machines and told to act as normally as possible. What is it with that ? How do they expect you to act normal when you know how serious these tests are? The whole process baffles me.

"We'll Mrs. porter, ill see you same time tomorrow for your results and to start the other tests. if you need anything don't hesitate to call a nurse." I nodded in response, I was uncomfortable and had these round prong monitors on my chest and all around my scalp. I looked like a wired monster with spots. Kellin tried his hardest not to laugh, but failed miserably. Ashley would probably have laughed to, but she left to check on the night shift at the bakery.

"I'm sorry Scar, it's just so odd looking!" Kellin giggled lightly under his breath, I couldn't help but glare at him.

"It's not funny, and it is incredibly uncomfortable." I folded my arms and pouted. I was feeling a little more energetic since my meal.

"I know. I'm sorry baby I wasn't trying to make you upset, how about we take a walk around the hospital? The doctor said you should." Kellin was at my side in seconds, he lightly kissed every single monitor they had connected to me.

"See? All better, no more feeling silly" He had to be the most adorable person on earth.

"Kellin, how am I supposed to walk around connected to this machine ?" Kellin looked around and hung his head.

"No clue, ill go ask a nurse if its even possible." He held up a finger and walked out of the room for a moment and returned with an older brown hairs women dressed in blue scrubs.

"Oh! She can certainly take a walk! That's the portable version of the machine! Ill show you how it all works! You just have to unhook her from her heart monitor for a moment." The woman came in and showed me to just take my pulse monitor off my finger then press the stand by button underneath it. I paid close attention as she brought my fluids that were connected to me by IV's and the new monitor.

"Just hold on to the monitors as you walk so you don't disconnect yourself and you should be fine. Your handsome man here can help guide you so it's easier." Kellin smiled at her as she left the room and I couldn't help but sigh at how complicated it was just to take a walk.

"What's wrong Scar?" Kellin was very in tune with my actions today, he never stopped watching me, he meant well and it meant a lot that be was staying here in this uncomfortable room with me.

"It's just so much work to go for a walk, and the back of my gown is pretty revealing. I'm not trying to give everyone a show" kellin laughed and helped me stand up. He walked behind me and laughed a little more.

"Hey! This isn't a peep show!" I laughed as I felt his warm hands graze my hips and then my shoulder blades slightly.

"There! I tied your gown up, I solved your exposure problem. May I say your still as sexy as ever Baby?" He whispered in my ear sending a tingling sensation down my entire body. As he wrapper his arms around my waist from behind and kissed my neck.

"Kellin, stop it, you know we can't" I laughed as he whispered in my ear again, he made it hard to resist him. Everything he did drove me wild.

"I know baby, I just missed you, I missed touching you, kissing you, feeling your cool skin against mine. I can barely keep my hands off you" he grabbed the bar of the machine and stood by my side.

"We'll, lets go stretch those tired legs of yours" he stated as he guide my out of my room and down the hall.

We walked for almost an hour in circles around the ICU, kellin kept my mind off everything by telling me about tour and how surreal it was, I loved hearing his stories and when we finally decided to go back to my room I wasn't ready for him to stop talking.

"Please tell me more Kell? I love hearing about tour. You sound like you had so much fun!" He blushed slightly and reached for my phone.

"We'll, the night we heard you were in the hospital I had sent you a video Vic made... Want to see it?" I smiled wide as he handed me my phone. I had messages from all the guys and everyone from work, and I had a video message from Kellin. I hit play and gasped.

Vic was smiling into the camera for a few seconds before he turned the lens to reveal a massive crowd. There was easily over three hundred people crowded around wall to wall in the small venue, he'll there may have been a thousand people, all I saw were hands and in the air and screaming fans as kellin spoke into the microphone. Vic walked up behind Jesse with his guitar, he smiled and waved to me mouthing 'I miss you' he then made his way to have Justin and jack. Finally he circled around to the side of kellin as he spoke to the crowd. I felt the excitement in my body that sent shivers down my alone watching the crowd react to Kellins words. He was so loved by his fans, and it was just their first tour. I felt tears start to brim my eyes when Jesse came and sat next to kellin with his acoustic guitar and they started to perform "all of my heart" for me. Vic stood behind them shooting the crowd then went in front of them, I could feel Kellins happiness from here, he felt on top of the world and I know his heart was soaring And i could feel myself being warmed by the look on his fave as he sang to ine side of his mouth. i always thought it was adorable how he did that. Kellin waved and winked occasionally at the video and looked dead into the camera, even hundreds of miles away he knew how to look into my soul with those huge beautiful eyes. It was as if he was staring into mine without me even being there, he truly carried my heart with him wherever he went.

"Oh kellin, that was amazing! Thank you" he blushed and held my hand.

"I love you Baby, you know that? I spent every waking moment on that tour thinking of you, doing things all with you in mind. I even got you a few things but I left them with the guys" he squeezed my hand and my heart jumped. I had to occasionally stop myself from staring at him, I missed the way his hair fell in his eyes and the way it hung out of his beanies. I missed the way he would run his hand over his forehead brushing his bangs to the side, I missed how he would bounce his heels as he sat. I missed all the little things that made Kellin, well Kellin.

"You didn't have to get me anything baby, your the best gift I could have ever asked for." He kissed my lips passionately and placed his hand through my hair.

"Lay with me?" Kellin smiled and climbed into the bed with me careful not to unhook anything or hurt me. He pulled me into his chest and I rested my head and ear over his heart. I could feel his heart, it was strong, loud, and had a rhythm of its own. His heart was unlike mine, his heart was powerful while mine was weak.

"Are you tired Scar?" Kellin whispered and I nodded my head, my eyes were heavy, I feel like I've been sleeping entirely too much but my body disagreed with me.

"Sleep baby, I won't go anywhere" I smiled into is chest and fell asleep to his heart.

I woke to the sun shining in my face, I heard loud noises below me and looked up to see a deep in sleep, snoring, drooling kellin. His head was back and his mouth was open, his arm that wasn't wrapped around me was rested Over his forehead. He looked absolutely adorable and I didn't want to wake him. However I had to use the restroom and couldn't get up by myself.

I leaned up and kissed him on his cheek. His eyes fluttered open and he quickly closed his mouth and shook his head from side to side.

"Good morning handsome" I whispered and he stretched arching his back and smiling wide when he relaxed.

"Good morning to you too beautiful, did you sleep ok?" He kissed the top of my nose and scrunched my face back at him.

"I slept great, but right now I need help so I can get to the bathroom." I said nervously, slightly embarrassed. Kellin laughed and shifted his weight from under me to get up.

"Don't be embarrassed baby, here" he sat me up moved my machines and held his hands out for mine. I gripped them both tightly and lifted myself up. My legs felt like jello still and shook slightly at me weight.

"Thanks baby." I whispered and kissed him as I shut the bathroom door. I looked in the mirror my hair was knotted and blown out in every direction. My eyes were sunken in and I looked absolutely awful. I couldn't believe kellin didn't say anything, he was still calling me beautiful and I guess to him, no matter what, I would always be beautiful.

I did my business and opened the bathroom door, kellin grabbed my machines and lead me back to the bed where I at at the edge. I didn't want to lay down anymore, the doctor would be here soon and I wanted to get this day over with.

"Scar there's no reason to be nervous." Kellin said while texting on his phone.

"Who are you texting ?" He looked up and smiled.

"Jesse, he sent me this picture for you" he showed me his phone and it was all the boys from sleeping with sirens, pierce the veil and of mice and men all holding up signs that said get well soon. They were the best and I couldn't wait for them to get home.

"They are the best ! I can't wait for them to be home" kellin smiled even wider.

"We'll your in luck" he smiled sheepishly.

"What do you mean? They won't be back for three more days still" I said sadly and he shook his head no.

"They convinced the label, they'll be back tomorrow baby!" He said excitedly and clapped my hands and held my arms out for him to hug me, just as we released the doctor came into the room.

"Hello Mrs. porter how are you feeling today?" He asked while walking over to my machine and printing out a few papers from it. He then turned to me as I answered him and started taking off all the round indicators from my face and chest.

"I'm still kind of weak, but I'm not as tired as before" he smiled at my answer.

"That's good to hear, according to your results your heart is improving, and your murmur effects you more in the day, which is unusual because most murmurs effect people more when they lay down. It's not to apparent to be concerned with right now though. Lets go run the other tests and see how they go." He had me follow him, I could easily do so on my own now with just the IVs still attached. He wouldn't allow kellin to go with us.

We walked down a few halls and came to a room that looked almost like a gym, it had countless treadmills and stair steppers.

"Now we need you to just walk at normal pace and we will slowly turn up to pace until your in a jog then running. Understand ?" I nodded and he hooked me up to a small heart monitor and had me step on the treadmill.

I was walking for what seemed like hours until the pace picked up and I was jogging, I was beginning to sweat and lose my breath, it was vigorous, I could hear my monitor beeping rapidly as I tried to keep up, they turned the pace up one more time and I was barely able to breathe, and not because if my heart, because I was exhausted. I had easily been running for over an hour and it was impossible to keep up this pace with out struggle and breathing heavily. I thought the test would never end but out of no where the treadmill slowed and I was walking yet again, it felt cool and easy to walk for a moment.

"Alright Mrs. porter, lets take you back to your room." I nodded and slowly followed him back to my room. I was exhausted beyond belief and I wanted to sleep all over again. Haven't I just woken up?

"Baby are you ok?" Kellin immediately hopped up and ran to my side.

"I'm fine just exhausted" he helped me into bed and the doctor waited until I was settled.

"The results seem fine, your murmur never occurred, I want to send you home tomorrow night, however I'm going to send you with a heart monitor that will stay in all week. I want you to write down how your feeling and what your doing if you feel a murmur or sudden skip or rise in your heart." I nodded and he smiled.

"We'll ill see you in a week at my independent office, just go about your week normally and don't be scared to do your normal daily routines" the doctor handed me his card with his office address on it, kellin cleared his throat getting the doctors attention.

"Yes sir? Any concerns?" He asked kellin with a smile.

"Uhh... Is it safe to... You know ? Uhm... Be physical with each other?" He asked nervously and my mouth fell open.

"Yes everything should be fine, it's an activity that strains the heart but I'm confident she will be ok" he patted kellin on the back and laughed.

"Thanks" kellin blushed and scratched the back of his head. The doctor said his goodbyes and left the room,

"KELLIN! I can't believe you did that" I laughed and propped my head up on the pillow.

"We'll, I've missed you and I couldn't wait another week to love you, your drive me wild baby" he kissed my lips and I giggled even harder.

"I love you Kellin" he smiled.

We spent the rest of the day talking about the good news of the test results and flirting. I couldn't wait to see the boys tomorrow out little family would finally be back together after three long months, and most of all I couldn't wait to be back in me and Kellins home, together again.

The smile I had never faltered through the night.