Write It Down

Jack looked at Alex, completely mortified.
He quickly grabbed Alex’s arm and started dragging him out of the building. He had Alex completely thrown off, and honestly, he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing either.
Jack held on to Alex’s arm until they made it right outside the venue. His blood was fucking boiling.

You’re probably confused as to why Jack reacted this way.

Well, they were both as equally confused.

“Jack..?” Alex asked quietly. He knew as soon as “Kiss me,” came out of his mouth that Jack was going to react strangely towards the two little words that escaped his lips. But, to be completely honest, he didn’t think he would be THIS freaked out. Would it be that strange if Alex was into Jack? He thought he had made it pretty damn obvious when he practically took him out on a fucking date tonight for Christ’s sakes.

Jack finally turned and looked at Alex for the first time since they stepped outside. “Alex. I-I don’t even know if what happened was real or if I just imagined that.. But I can NOT handle this right now..” He whispered, his eyes squeezed tightly shut and his heart beating at unbelievable speeds. “I don’t want you to think that.. that I am some type of dick or something.. but.. I don’t even know what to say.. Shit..” Jack looked down at his feet and felt his cheeks turning all shades of magenta as he felt the moments slipping out from under his belt.

“Jack.. I am SO fucking sorry.. I honestly don’t even know.. what I was thinking..” Alex knew that no words could fix how uncomfortable he obviously made Jack feel tonight.

“Alex,” Jack whispered, looking away from light-brown haired boy. “Alex, I can’t let this happen and I know you probably just feel sorry for me in some type of good Samaritan type of way, because I know I’m pathetic, but I just cannot allow myself to sit here and watch you lie and pretend to like me..”

That’s when Alex finally understood. Jack thought that he wanted to kiss him out of pity.
Fuck, he could not be more wrong. Alex had never been one to actually date other guys, but he had also never been one to say no when one would occasionally strike his fancy. He wanted to be straight, he promises he did, but there was no way he could deny the attraction he felt when it came to the same sex.
He loved dating girls, but even when it came to other guys he never felt this way. When he was with them he just wanted it to end. He wanted to fool around and get it over with so he could run back to his “straight” boy lifestyle.

But, Alex didn’t want that from Jack. Jack was different. Jack was someone he could see himself telling all of his secrets to. Jack is someone he could see himself taking on long walks in the forest at night that leads to a meadow that holds a small starlit picnic that he himself created. Jack was someone he could.. fall in love with.

Alex wrote about love all the time in his short stories he wrote in his free time.
But Alex Gaskarth was NEVER in love.

“Jack, I-I-you’re different..” Alex whispered. Alex wanted to know Jack, in every sense of the word. He wanted that..
And, up until tonight, at this show, with this band, and this venue, and Jack looking absolutely perfect in his plain white v-neck and tight black skinny jeans, Alex couldn’t even admit to the fact that YES Jack Barakat was something more than a reader.
Something more than a friend.
He was so much more…

Jack turned around and placed both of his hands lightly on Alex’s shoulders. “I can’t let this be ruined. I-I just don’t want to lose this.” He whispered, looking at Alex.

It’s funny how you can meet someone and faster than falling asleep they’re more important to you than people you’ve known your whole life.
Alex looked at Jack. Deep into his chocolate river eyes and smiled, pulling Jack’s face down towards his until their noses were but centimeters apart.

Jack felt his heartbeat quicken, and sooner than he denied it, he was wanting Alex’s lips on his own. He wanted what Alex wanted and he knew that.
But, he also knew that if he let this happen, there were so many things that could go wrong.. and he just didn’t want to risk that.

Alex leaned up closer to the taller boy’s lips. “I can stop if this is too much for you..” He whispered. They could hear the people around them but none of them mattered.
This is what they wanted.

“Don’t stop..” Jack groaned low under his breathe.
Alex barely heard him but that was enough for him. He slammed his lips against Jack’s, letting his eyes close and heart beat stop as he took in the man that had so quickly changed his perception of life.

Before this kiss, Jack was just a reader. A story.

But, now there was so much more lying underneath the surface that Alex was just itching to dig out. He wanted to see where the kisses like this could take them. He wanted to see just how far he could make this last before something ruined it all.

As his tongue slid past Jack’s lips and into his mouth, he completely forgot all the flaws in their relationship. He forgot the article and the lies.
Because none of that mattered right at this moment. Because right at this moment, all that mattered was the feeling deep in his gut that was telling him to make this last forever because he never wanted to stop feeling this way. He never wanted to let go of Jack Barakat.

It’s so crazy how one letter changed their lives.

Jack pulled away gently, his entire body shaking and his lips quivering for more. He knew that had to stop. He knew that he had to stop pretending. But he didn’t want to.
Jack looked at Alex and grinned, “You’re good at that..”

Alex chuckled and wrapped his arms around Jack in a hug. “You’re good at making me feel like I’m on top of the world.”

“Is this something good to write down in your journal?” Jack laughed, hugging Alex back strongly. “Because I don’t think I’ll ever forget how that felt..” He was scared to death but he couldn’t let go of the moments; he was holding on to them for dear life.

Alex’s stomach sank.. this wasn’t something he wanted to put in his journal, he could never put this is in the article.. but.. he lied anyways. “Of course. I could write for hours about this. Right down to my pulse.”

“I want you to write a story about me one day, Gaskarth.” Jack laughed as he left his arms wrapped tightly around the boy who secretly owned his first kiss. “I don’t know if you should put that kiss in there though.” He winked.

Alex squeezed Jack tight. “I will Jacko.”

I will…