Hate Me, Love

He didn't even look up from his spot by the window as I opened the door, I remembered doing the same when I was in his place. Except that I knew the person was there invading my personal space but him, Adam, he was lost in thought. He was lost in an unknown world, in his own little world.

I sat on the floor next to where he was on his chair, looking up every five minutes expecting to get a response from him. By now it was clear that this was his way of ignoring me and every time the clock ticked my brain sent a wave of restlessness through my body. I wasn't a patient person and knowing fully well that he was wasting my time on purpose, only made things worse.

I stood up from my spot on the floor, not knowing what to do about the situation anymore. If I didn't get him to acknowledge me in someway I would be spending the rest of my summer locked up in this room. Locked up like I had been three years ago, but this time I’d be accompanied by Adam, who doesn't even want me here.

It kind of hurt to know that I wasn't wanted here either, just like I wasn't wanted anywhere else. Maybe in different circumstances we could have been friends, but all my life I had been no more than a victim of circumstances. They always found a way to ruin everything, like rocks I had to overcome.

My fathers death was one of those rocks along with my mother, who still hadn't noticed that I was already too tired to continue fighting with her. Fighting her like I had been doing ever since his death ten years ago and the routine was by now way too predictable and old. A scream here, a door slammed there, I’ll run up the stairs and by then we're both too tired to even continue, it was the same every time.

I almost didn't hear the soft voice that brought me out of my thoughts, "Why are you crying?" I was shocked both at the fact that he was talking and at the tears I hadn't noticed were running down my face. He was starring at me intently waiting for my answer but his question had left me speechless.

I didn't even think before the words came out of my mouth, "I hate having to be here." He starred at me not happy at all with my answer, I hadn't realized what I'd said until I heard it come out through my lips.

His features changed as he spoke once again, "Then why don't you just leave." With that said I got up made my way to the door, out into the hall, through the lobby and down the lonely streets. My only company home being the tears that flowed down my cheeks and into the pavement.