All of You

There were times when I was asleep that I got so scared that I would wake up drenched in sweat, shivering and gripping at the pale blue sheets that had fallen down to my stomach. The frigid wind would brush against my bare skin and I would sit there, quivering and crying into the darkness, eyes blinking hungrily into the blackness surrounding me, almost waiting for death.

Then I’d hear a sound. The soft, whisper of a breath, the caress of someone caring, someone with their eyes shut but loving nonetheless. And a hand would brush against my sweaty thigh and a groan would enter the room and I’d smile though no one could see me because I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t at all. I didn’t need to scream and I didn’t need to cry and I didn’t need to fight. I could just lay down and become overwhelmed by the fact that there was someone beside me, and I’d smile though no one was watching, just a flicker of something – almost joy, on my lips.

Tonight he woke up. His eyelids were heavy, brown eyes looking up at me through lowered lashes, blurry with sleep as he blinked at me. “What’s wrong?” he asked lowly, his voice husky with fatigue. His long fingers brushed against my hip, gripping slightly at the bone before trailing lazily down to my thigh.

“I love you,” I said quietly, smiling at him softly with the light of the morning sun drifting in through the window.

He grinned lazily, reaching up to gently brush a sweaty strand of hair away from my face. His fingers lingered on my cheek for a moment, dropping to scrape his nail against my lower lip affectionately. Then he pulled me against him, eyes blinking heavily at me as he smiled, still half asleep.

He pressed a soft kiss against the back of my neck, brushing his nose down across my ear until it was buried against my shoulders. He placed a lingering kiss there, breathing in deeply and allowing his warm breath to ghost across my bare skin. “I love you,” he whispered against me, and I felt his eyelashes graze across my flesh as he slowly blinked. His hands lowered to my stomach, reaching under my large shirt and grasping my belly softly. I let out a shaky breath, grinning against the pillow as I felt him smile into the crook of my neck. Lowering my hands, I pressed them lightly against his, and he grinned and grazed his nose across my neck lovingly. “And I love you for giving me this,” he said softly, his hands squeezing my stomach slightly. “I love you for giving me everything.”

The moment felt too right to answer, so I simply lifted my eyes to stare at him, allowing him to see the warmth in them and the happiness I felt. And then he pressed his lips against my ear once more, pulling me closer and relaxing against me.

When I woke up the next day, both of our hands were still resting against my stomach, and I’d slept more soundly than I had in years. And I realised as I stared lightly at the window – which was glowing with morning sunlight, that I’d fallen in love with the least likely man. But he was a man with a heart of the purest gold and the ability to make me forget, and that was more than a little girl in tattered clothes and covered in bruises could ever ask for.