Do I Turn Out Alright?

[Alex]

I know it's wrong for me to lust after my best friends girlfriend, especially after they have been together for so long. I can't help it though. Every moment of every day Sapphire is on my mind. From that first moment when she walked down those steps and into my basement, it's like she walked into my heart. That sounds beyond gay and I may just have to beat myself up for saying that but... it's true. I can't not think about her. Her sandy blonde hair, her shining blue eyes, her gorgeous and perfect smile, her hourglass figure. My favorite thing about her though, is her smell. She smells heavenly, so sweet and fruity.

It was torture having her come on tour, though really it was heaven at the same time. She was always so close and yet, every day I had to see her all over Matt. Don't get me wrong, I am really happy that Matt has found someone that makes him happy, but why did it have to be her? The four days that I was with her, laying in bed with her, making her breakfast just being with her were perfect and I envied Matt for being able to do that for two years because four days just wasn't enough.

"You are really starting to creep me out, Alex." I jumped slightly, coming back from my daze, snapping back into reality to find none other than Sapphire sitting across from me at the small kitchen table of All Time Low's tour bus.

"Oh, sorry. I was lost in thought. What are you doing up?" I asked her, reaching forward to grab the cup of orange juice I had gotten myself awhile ago when I had woken up. I couldn't fall back asleep because all I heard were giggles coming from Sapphire and Matt's bunk. It made me cringe so I bolted from the bunk area as fast as I could. It was 3 in the morning so no one else had been up.

"Couldn't fall asleep. Matt passed out though and I heard someone out here so I figured I'd get up as well. I've been saying your name for quite awhile now." She explained, smiling at me.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't even notice." Which was weird as I always knew when she entered a room.

"What had you so deep in thought?" She questioned, frowning at me yet still having a small smile gracing her perfect lips. You. I couldn't say that though, obviously.

"Nothing in particular. Just how crazy life is right now." I guess that was a good enough answer, it was true in a way. Life was crazy because I couldn't be with the girl that I wanted.

"Well, tour is over in about two weeks and then you can go home and be a hermit for awhile. Though you promised to take me to the water park when we got home, you better not back out on me now." She said, pouting a little, making me smile and my heart give a gayish flutter in my chest. This girl.

"You in a bikini all wet, like I would pass up that." I winked at her making her giggle and shake her head.

"Don't let Matt hear you say that, he might not let me go then." She told me, making me smile.

"Good point. How are things with you two?" I asked. I didn't really want to know and I secretly hoped that things were bad. I'm a bad friend.

"For the moment things are good. You know how things get when we are on tour for a long time though. He get's stressed out and snaps at me for everything. Last night he saw me talking with a customer for too long and he snapped at me, accusing me of flirting with him. When really the guy just couldn't decide which shirt to surprise his girlfriend with." We both then burst into laughter, quickly trying to quiet down so they wouldn't wake anyone. We didn't succeed though as a second later an angry and obviously just woken up Matt came storming into the room.

"I don't care if you two stay up late but can you at least be respectful enough to the rest of the bus who actually like to sleep and shut up?" He barked at us, glaring at us both. Sapphire rolled her eyes.

"Calm down, Matt. We didn't mean to. Go back to sleep, pisshead." She told him, waving her hand at him dismissively.

"You may want to remember, Sapphire, that I am your boss so I wouldn't say shit like that to me if you want to keep a job." I knew that Matt was just saying that because he was pissed off and tired. Matt was known for being a dick when he was woken up against his own terms. He would never truly fire Sapphire. Or at least he better not anyway because at the end of the day, I was his boss.

"Oh really?" I watched as Sapphire's eyebrows shot up and she glared at Matt before standing up, crossing her arms over her chest. "You may want to remember, Matt, that I am your girlfriend so I wouldn't say shit like that to me if you want to keep getting laid." She responded in the same angry voice he had just spoken to her in. I had to admit, Sapphire was a badass.

"Whatever. Just come back to bed." With that Matt turned and disappeared back in the bunk area. Sapphire sighed and sat back down, running her hands through her hair.

"I love Matt to death, but some times I'm not sure if this whole working together, touring together, thing works." She told me, her face in her hands. "All we do is argue. He get's super possessive and never trusts me. I'm just so sick of it."

"Maybe you two need a break. Some space might help." I suggested but she shook her head.

"I've suggested that to Matt and he took it as I was breaking up with him for good. You should have seen him. I love Matt and he loves me. I know some times we have a weird way of showing it but... that's just what we do." Sapphire sighed before standing up. "I should get back to bed. Goodnight, Alex. Don't stay up for too long, you have a show tonight." She reached over and ruffled my messy brown hair before disappearing down the hall to go be with Matt.

I sat at the table for another twenty minutes before I went to my own bunk, which just happened to be across from Sapphire and Matt's. As I laid in the quiet and dark confines of my bunk I could hear them whispering to each other.

"Matt, do we have to?" I heard her whisper, a small giggle following.

"Is that supposed to be a serious question? Of course we do." Came Matt's response. I frowned, wondering what they were talking about.

"Can't we do something else? I know you love Disneyland and all but-" Oh of course, we were in Anaheim today. We had a day off tomorrow which Matt planned so we could go to Disneyland, like always when we were in the area.

"You know I have to go when I am here. You don't have to go, I guess." Matt told her, I soon heard her sigh.

"Of course I'll go with you, just thought I would suggest it." There came no response to this but I heard what sounded like kissing, making me cringe.

"I love you." I had never heard Matt sound so... content with life than when he said those three words to Sapphire. Hearing him like that and seeing him so happy with her, though they argued, was one of the reasons why I never pursued my feelings for Sapphire. I couldn't do that to my best friend.

"I love you." Sapphire responded and there was no more talking. I heard them move around a little before a small giggle came from Sapphire. I feared that they were going to have sex. I had heard it before, but right now that was just the last thing I wanted to hear, I would probably beat something with a bat. After I found a bat, that is. Though thankfully after a few minutes of silence Matt's snores joined the quiet snores coming from the other members of the band and crew. I soon fell into a slumber of my own, my dreams filled with Sapphire.

Oh, I was in deep and I had no idea how to get out.