Thank You

The night started when Kennedy and Peyton opted to have a fun night out for their last night in Alabama. Austin was excited but only for one reason. If they were out in public, in a tight space, it would make it harder for Jess to ignore him. He needed her to stop being so distant. There was only so much he could take before he went absolutely crazy. All four of them waved goodbye to Ted and the kids before piling into the car. Austin and Peyton climbed into the backseat, letting Kennedy and Peyton choose wherever they wanted to go. He kept his hands to himself, watching her from across the seat. She looked out of the window the whole time, her hands folded in her lap, sending the message loud and clear. The same message she had been sending for the past 2 weeks.

“Let’s go to a bar,” Kennedy said, flicking the blinker so that he could switch lanes.

“What do you guys think?” Peyton asked, turning around to look at them. She noticed her sister’s uptight posture and sent Austin and sympathetic look. He just glared at her, tired of her meddling.

“It’s your night,” Jess spoke up, finally training her eyes on Peyton instead of on the rush of trees outside of the window. “We’ll do whatever you guys want to do.”

“Bar it is,” Kennedy smiled, reaching over to lock hands with Peyton. Austin grimaced at how perfect they were and looked over at Jessica again. She looked over at him, one side of her mouth twitching up into an attempt of a smile before she looked away. “Where are the good bars, Jess?”

“Downtown,” she answered without really thinking about it. “I’ll tell you where to go.”

//\\//\\//\\//\\

“Wait, wait, wait,” Peyton practically yelled, throwing her hands in the air and cutting Kennedy off. “Remember that time that you guys pantsed Julia onstage?”

Kennedy almost spit beer all over the table as he started laughing.

“You what?!” Austin asked, chuckling as he ran his fingers through the condensation on his glass of beer.

“Garrett did, right?” Peyton asked, turning to Kennedy.

“It was Jared, if I remember correctly.”

“I’ll bet she was mortified,” Austin laughed, trying to picture it, taking another sip of beer.

“She wasn’t wearing underwear,” Peyton added and watched as Austin almost choked on his drink, letting out her string of laughter to mix with his.

“Why was this story not told at every single party we’ve ever had?” Austin asked, wiping a tear that had slipped from the corner of his eye.

“Excuse me,” Jessica spoke up, getting up from the table and retreating to the bathroom. His face fell as he watched her weave through the crowds of people.

“We should try to include her more,” Peyton spoke up.

“Wouldn’t matter if you did,” Austin muttered more to himself than anyone else, but Kennedy heard him.

“It just takes time,” he started but Austin shook his head, cutting off anything he was going to add to that.

“How much more time? How much longer am I going to have to be afraid to touch my own wife? How long am I going to have to wait until I don’t have to carefully analyze every word that I say in fear of saying something insensitive? Please, tell me, because that person in there,” he said, pointing to the bathroom, “is not the thoughtful, carefree, interesting person that I married. That person scares the shit out of me.”

“Austin,” Peyton started.

“I can’t even bring up the subject of what’s next for us or when we may leave this place. We’re stuck in a rut that I don’t know how to handle.”

“Austin,” she tried again.

“Don’t even get me started on how long it’s been since we’ve had sex. I’m probably the most sexually frustrated person in this place.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you, Austin,” Jess said, scooting back into her seat and taking a sip of her drink before setting it back down and continuing, “didn’t mean to be the reason for you frustrations.”

Austin let out a groan as he shot dirty looks to both Peyton and Kennedy, who looked too amused at what he had gotten himself into.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, picking up a straw paper that was lying on the table in front of him and rolling it into a ball. “I think we need to talk.”

“No, I’m quite fine, thank you,” she replied, settling back into her seat.

“That wasn’t a question,” he growled harshly, throwing the paper ball down on the table before he forcefully pushed himself out of his seat and grabbed onto her arm, pulling her down from the stool and behind him as he led them towards the door.

“Are you kidding me right now?” she asked, trying to pry her arm out of his tight grip. It was no use. She was tripping over her own feet trying to get away from him.

“Never been more serious,” he retorted, getting away from the loudness of the bar as he settled for an empty lot across the street.

“What is your problem?” she asked, finally yanking her arm away.

“You. You’re my fucking problem,” he yelled, kicking the curb with his boot. She crossed her arms and watching him start pacing back and forth. “You need to let me know where I stand, for god’s sake, Jessica. Either let me help you or go ahead and put me out of my misery because I can’t take this anymore.”

“Can’t take what anymore?”

“Don’t do that,” he laughed harshly, the sound very unsettling to her. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I am talking about.”

She took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders. With a shake of her head she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She didn’t know what to tell him.

“Just stop pushing me away. I’ve done nothing but try to help you through this but you don’t want my help. You don’t want to talk to me. God forbid I try to touch you. I feel bad when I accidentally brush against you these days. I never know if you’re going to let it slide or shoot me a dirty look.”

“If you know that I don’t want your help, why do you still try?” she asked, trying to force her small voice to project.

“I’m your husband. But most of all, Jessica, I’m your friend. I was your friend long before any of this happened. I genuinely just want you to wake up one day and have it not hurt as much. If I can help you with that in any way, I am going to try no matter how hard you push me away. A lot has happened these past few months but no matter what has happened or what is going to happen, I just want to make sure that I’ve done everything I possibly can.”

“It’s just… it’s all too much, Austin. You breaking up with Taylor, my mom getting sick, the marriage… it all happened way too fast. I don’t want you to stay here because you feel the need to patch me up. You said it yourself inside; you’re ready to leave. Why haven’t you left yet? Nothing’s holding you back.”

“You’re holding me back,” he said. He watched her face fall and then quickly backtracked. “Not in a bad way, Jess.” He sighed, rushing his hand through his hair and leaving it a disheveled mess. “You’re here. You want to stay here, which is fine with me. I’ll stay with you as long as you need.”

“Damn it, Austin,” she finally cried out, breaking her calm exterior and throwing her hands in the air. “This isn’t even real. You married me as a favor. I will forever be grateful to you that my mom got to see me walk down the aisle, but we are not married. It’s just a piece of paper. This will never be a marriage. This was a pity favor and it’s about time it all just stopped.”

“You don’t mean that,” he said, reaching for her, but she snapped her arm away.

“I was something to distract you from Taylor, and I guess it worked because you don’t seem as hung up on it as I thought were going to be, but this,” she gestured between the two of them with her hand, “is an act. It’s a lie.”

“And I guess the only who really fell for it was me,” he said, leaning back against the side of the fence. They were silent for a while, just staring at each other.

“I know I’ve been difficult,” she started, but he didn’t let her finish.

“No. You don’t know how difficult you’ve been, Jessica. You haven’t had to deal with the wars I’ve had to wage inside. ‘Do I comfort her? Do I leave her be? Do I tell her that everything’s going to be okay? Will a kiss be crossing the line? Will she even let me get within a foot of her?’ You haven’t had to deal with any of that. I left tour for this?” he spat out, harshly.

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” she shook her head violently and took a step towards him. “Don’t you DARE try to play that card! You can take that card and shove it up your ass.”

“Is everything okay over here?” some guy asked, stepping into the beam of light that the streetlight was supplying.

“We’re fine,” Austin growled.

“Jessica?” he asked, taking a step towards her.

“It’s okay, James,” she forced out. Austin looked between them, wondering who the hell he was.

“Is this your husband?” he asked. Austin let out a harsh laugh and shook his head.

“Yes,” she answered, crossing her arms.

“Did he enjoy the wedding present?” he asked with a grin.

“James, I don’t mean to be rude, but we’re kind of in the middle of something.”

“Oh,” he nodded. “Right. Well, if you need anymore, you know where to find me.”

Austin watched his form get smaller as he walked across the street and into the bar they had left earlier.

“Wedding present?”

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” she shook her head. “We should get back.”

“We’re not even close to being done here.”

“Yes. We really are,” she sighed. “I’m done with this.”

“You can’t just be ‘done with this,’” he mocked, using air quotes. “Who was that guy?”

“He’s an old friend. I did grow up here, or did you forget? A real husband wouldn’t forget that,” she said, an eerie smile gracing her lips. She turned around and started walking to the bar, but Austin wasn’t letting her go that easily. He grabbed her arm and spun her back around, her hand jerking out of her pocket with the sudden movement and a bag falling to the ground.

It all happened so fast, she hadn’t realized that it fell out.

“What is your fucking problem, Gibbs? Take the fucking hint!”

He scooped the bag up, watching her reaction as she felt around in her pockets, her face falling.

“What’s this?” he asked, opening the bag and surveying the contents. “Pills?”

“I get headaches,” she sighed, reaching for the bag, but he jerked it out of her reach. It suddenly clicked. The words Peyton shouted at the hospital, the trip to rehab, the wedding present.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he muttered.

“Can I have those back?” she asked, firmly standing her ground.

“Are you an idiot? Obviously you are.”

”What?” she asked, becoming outraged.
“Rehab really stuck with you, didn’t it,” he asked, sarcasm dripping from his words.

“I get headaches,” she tried again only to have him expel that same harsh laugh he had been using since they started this chat.

“Headaches, my ass. How long has this been going on?”

She was quiet and he could practically see the debate she was having in her head on whether she should lie or tell him the truth.

“Tell me!” he shouted, bringing his face closer to hers.

“Two weeks,” she whispered.

He clutched the bag tightly in his hand as he took off across the street to the bar. Her voice was calling out behind him but he had so much internal rage that he ignored it. He combed through the crowd, rage setting in when he spotted him leaning against the bar, talking to someone. He pushed through the sea of bodies until he was face to face with him.

“Hey,” the guy greeted him with a smile before Austin punched it right off of his face. He stuffed the bag in James’ pocket before kneeing him right between the legs. Austin held onto his shirt as the guy doubled over. He used it as an opportunity to whisper something in his ear. “Talk to her again and you’ll wish you were dead.” He let go of his shirt and watched him fall to the ground. He turned around to see Jessica, Kennedy and Peyton all staring at him. Jessica furrowed her eyebrows as she started to walk towards him, claws out and ready for a fight.

“Was that really necessary?” she yelled, looking at James., who was just now getting to his feet.

“You’re welcome,” Austin said, shaking his hand and examining his knuckles. He’d never punched someone before but it really fucking hurt.

“Make sure she gets home,” Austin said to Kennedy and Peyton before he took off. He had to figure out what he was supposed to do now. If he was near Jessica, she would cloud his judgment just like she always had. Everything had changed drastically in a matter of minutes and he had to sort through it all.

This changed everything. He no longer knew what to do. He geared up for the long walk home. It was miles and miles, but the cool night would help clear his head. All he knew was that she needed him but how was he going to get her to see that?