Red.

Harry told me he still loves me but I couldn’t help but to doubt that a little. He left me and didn’t give me a proper reason as to why. He made me question all of the words he had said to me when we were together. I didn’t know what to believe anymore.

My eyes glanced over the notes my professor was writing up on the board. I glanced back down at my notebook, seeing nothing written on the paper. I hadn’t written a word since class started an hour ago; I couldn’t stop thinking about Harry. He did it again, invaded my mind without warning. I knew that when I went to the airport, I would see him but I didn’t expect to him to actually talk to me, let alone sit next to me in the car. I really didn’t expect me to say that it was okay for him to stay next to me. I never even thought I would have enough confidence to even utter the words I did or even touch him voluntarily.

“Make sure you study for your exam for Thursday at midday,” my professor announced signaling the end of class. I picked up my notebook and iPad, clutching them to my chest and hurried out of the room. My eyes were glued to my phone as I made my way out of the university.

“Kaylin!” I heard my name being called out when I began walking down the street. I turned around, confused when I didn’t see anyone. I shook my head to myself thinking that I had just gone crazy and started walking down the sidewalk. “Kaylin,” the voice sounded closer and I looked next to me and saw the familiar dark gray car.

“Harry, what are you doing here?” I whispered harshly, looking around to see a few people staring. No one ever saw an Audi around here; no college student could afford it. I saw a grin grow on his lips and his dimples showing.

“I thought you might like a ride,” he told me casually. I rolled my eyes and kept walking. I heard his car rev obnoxiously and inwardly groaned when a group of college students’ eyes moved to the car. “Kay, come on. You have a long walk to your flat.” I heard his voice say as his car followed beside me up the street.

“I walk everyday, Harry. It’s nothing I can’t handle,” I told him, keeping my eyes focused ahead of me.

“Fine,” he said. When I noticed his car speed off, I looked over at the small group whose eyes were all on me in shock. My cheeks burned and I sped up my pace, hurrying away from the college. I turned the corner once I reached the end of the block and pulled out my phone, looking through my contacts for someone to call. “Kaylin,” I heard a husky voice say from behind me. I jumped, clutching my heart and turned around slapping Harry’s arm. “Ow!”

“You scared me, you jerk!” I glared at him, clutching my stuff to my chest. A small smile began spreading on his lips and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“You actually use the tablet.” He sounded almost as if he was happy and pleased. I looked down with my eyes, tearing my eyes from his sparkling green ones.

“Well, yeah…” I started quietly. “I wasn’t going to throw it out, Harry. It was a gift from you for school, so I’m using it for school.” His smile faded slowly and his eyes filled with sadness.

“Did you throw away anything else…?” He asked, timidly.

“No, not really…” I admitted. “I couldn’t do it.”

“What do you mean you couldn’t do it?” Harry asked, furrowing his eyebrows, causing a small wrinkle to form between his eyes.

“I had a box of all your stuff, packed and ready to be dumped in the trash…” I stopped briefly taking in his distressed face. “But when I was standing at the dumpster, I couldn’t do it. There were too many memories that I wasn’t ready to let go of yet.” We stood in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at each other. Neither of us said or did anything until we heard my name being called from the end of street. Harry looked away first, turning his head to face the boy running down the sidewalk to us. I pulled my gaze from Harry and looked at the dark brunette boy who had a huge grin on his face as he made his way to us. His wavy locks were flying everywhere as he ran.

“Luca, hey,” I greeted when he slowed down as he neared closer. I saw his brown eyes flicker over to Harry for a second before meeting mine.

“I was wondering if you’d like to come with me to get some lunch?” Luca’s eyes kept glancing at Harry warily, making me want to roll my eyes.

“I’m sorry, Luca but my friend here just got into town and I promised him that I would spend some time with him.” I lifted my hand to pat Harry’s arm, but I dropped it before I could touch his sleeve-covered arm.

Luca and I dated loosely after Harry ended our relationship. I like to think that when I decided to date Luca, I was vulnerable and I needed someone so I said yes to him when he asked me out on a date. I felt like I needed someone to fill the void in my heart but after a couple weeks, I couldn’t do it anymore. So I told Luca it’d be best if we were just friends.

“Oh, okay. Next time then, yeah?” I simply nodded and he turned on his heel walking back to where he came from.

“Spend time with me?” Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

“In your dreams. Are you going to take me home or not?” I brushed past him and walked to the passenger’s side, climbing in. Harry didn’t say anything anymore and got in, driving. The awkward silence filled the air and I felt uncomfortable.

“So…” I heard Harry drag out. “Who was that?”

“Luca.” I was hoping he would drop the subject, but he didn’t.

“Ah, he seems to fancy you.” I didn’t say anything or make any movement. I wanted to tell Harry that I dated another boy after he broke up with me. I wanted him to feel hurt that I would move on so quickly even though I never did move on.

“We, uh… We went out for a couple weeks,” I finally told him, looking over at him. Harry didn’t even look over at me; he just kept his eyes on the road and ran his hand through his curls. I watched him as he drove and when he stopped at a red light, he turned his head to me. “Well are you going to say something?” He let out a humorless laugh.

“What do you want me say? ‘Were the dates as good as ours were? Did his kisses make you weak?’ or wait, here’s a good one: ‘Was he as good as me in bed?’” My jaw dropped and I turned in my seat facing forward.

“I dated him for two weeks, Harry. We barely even touched each other so don’t start acting like I’m a slut,” I muttered out, turning my watering eyes out the side window.

“Ka-“ Harry started but I interrupted.

“Don’t.” I said firmly. “Just take me home, please.”

The rest of the ride back was tense. We didn’t speak a word to each other even when I got out of the car. I slammed the door too just to show him how pissed I was at him. I was pressing the button repeatedly, cursing the elevator for not arriving quicker. “You know that’s not going to speed up the elevator,” Harry’s quiet voice said from beside me. I didn’t look at him as I wiped the tears from my eyes, not wanting him to see me crying. “Are you crying?” When I didn’t answer, he let out a sigh and turned his body to me. “Kaylin, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said in the car. Don’t cry, please? I’m sorry.” I kept silent and stepped onto the elevator, pressing the button to close the door on him but the elevator was too slow. “You know I don’t think you’re a slag, Kaylin. I was just being immature and jealous, okay? I’m sorry,” he pleaded me, stepping in front of me so he could get my attention. I turned my head and crossed my arms, avoiding his gaze. I felt his fingers grab my chin softly and turn my head to look in his eyes.

Harry was standing a lot closer than I had assumed and by the way he kept flickering his eyes down, I knew what he was going to do, but I didn’t stop him. I should have but when he pressed his lips to mine, it felt like everything was okay again and I didn’t want to stop him. It seemed like every emotion I had been feeling over the last seven months, just disappeared. His lips tasted minty, like they used to and they were soft against mine making me close my eyes. When his fingers made their way into my brown locks, my eyes flew open and I pushed him away, his eyes opening wide.

“I’m s-sorry, I d-don’t what I was thinking,” he stumbled over his words and he licked his lips, running a hand through his hair. The elevator doors opened but we didn’t move.

“Excuse me?” A loud high-pitched voice asked from outside the elevator. “But I think this may be your stop and I would like to leave at some point.” I looked over at the blonde hair girl; she was eying Harry and it made something stir up inside of me. Anger? Jealousy? I don’t know but I grabbed Harry’s wrist pulling him off the elevator and down the hall to my door. Harry nearly tripped over his own two feet after being yanked by me and bumped into me when he caught his balance. “Sorry,” I heard him mumble out.

I didn’t even know why I was bringing Harry to my flat in the first place. Is it because maybe I wanted to show that girl he was taken? Only he wasn’t taken, he was completely single but a part of me felt like he was still mine and only mine.

When we walked into my flat, Harry shut the door behind him. “Look Kay, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me when I ki-“ My hand smacked onto his mouth, stopping him from apologizing. His eyes were wide as they looked down at me.

“I never thought I’d say this, but please, just stop apologizing. It’s quite annoying,” I said to him. I felt something wet and warm press against my palm, my eyes widening. “Ew, Harry!” I pulled my hand back wiping it down his chest on his shirt. His face broke out in a huge grin and I couldn’t help but to grin back. “I hate you,” I said pathetically, crossing my arms.

“I know you don’t,” he responded conceitedly.

It was strange to think that just a few moments ago, I was angry with him but now we were pretending that nothing happened. It was strange to think that just a few days ago, we were not even talking but now we were acting as we had when we first met.

“Can I ask you a question?” I heard Harry ask me softly from behind as we walked to the kitchen. I nodded, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and opening it then turned to face him. He was leaning against the counter on the opposite side of me with his arms crossed, his eyes burning into mine. “Why did you date that lad?” I nearly choked on my water, coughing. I grabbed a napkin wiping away the droplets that fell onto my chin and looked at him.

“I erm, well I think it was because I was lonely. I was so used to having you around whether it was on the phone or in person and I just felt like I needed someone. I wanted to fill the void in my heart, but he never did. So after two weeks, I ended it. I didn’t want to hurt him by…” I stopped myself, looking down at the water in my hand and whispered out, “by being in love with someone else.”

“It’s been a long last few months hasn’t it?” Harry asked randomly and my eyes lifted to meet his distressed green ones.

“Yeah, it has,” I responded softly. I watched his eyes roam around my face as if he was taking in every feature, memorizing me.

“Do you still love me, Kaylin?” He was silent as he waited for me to respond. I took a sip of my water, keeping my eyes on him. He shifted in his position a little, showing that he was getting impatient.

“I could never stop loving you, Harry.”

* * *

“You kept this picture of all the pictures we took together?” Harry asked exasperated. I let out a loud laugh when I noticed the small picture he was holding in his hand. The picture had been taken when we were in Holmes Chapel, visiting Harry’s family for Christmas. We were lying in his bed at the small house after a long day of running errands with Anne and his hair was a mess. He had a grin on his face when I had taken the picture but the way his eyes were drooping; you would think he was high.

“I love that picture,” I simply told him, pulling more pictures out of the cardboard box. He let out a groan, throwing the picture down. “Oh, quit being so dramatic. You’re such a girl sometimes,” I teased him with a small smile.

“Well, you’re such a girl sometimes,” he retorted lamely, a smile threatening to break out on his face.

“I am a girl!” I proclaimed loudly with a laugh. “That was a lame comeback, Styles. You’re losing your touch.” He rolled his eyes with a lopsided smile, his dimples carving into his cheeks.

I kept my eyes on his face while he kept his eyes focused on a picture he was holding. “This is my favorite one,” he mumbled out and turned his face, looking at me. My cheeks burned lightly when he eyes stared at me intently and I leaned my body closer to his to observe the picture.

The picture was taken at the cabin. We were outside in the snow with the other boys and Eleanor was the one who took the picture. Harry had an arm around my waist and his head was lowered to where his face was hidden my neck. For anyone else who saw this picture, they would have thought he was whispering something in my ear but the truth was that he was kissing my neck softly. I had a smile on my face in the picture, looking down at the ground as my arms had been hanging limply by my side. Harry and I didn’t even know Eleanor had taken a picture we were so engrossed in each other.

“Yeah,” I said with a small smile, leaning back away from him. Harry’s eye fell from mine to the box. I knew what he was reaching for next, it was the necklace he had given me Christmas morning. He held it up, letting his eyes glance over it and then his closed his hand around it and placing it on his thigh, his body becoming tense. I watched his eyes close tightly as he took in a deep breath and I reached out, placing my hand over his. After a little while, his fingers loosened around the necklace and took my fingers into his hand, squeezing them softly. “It feels like we’re mourning over someone’s death,” I joked softly and his body shook softly with a small laugh. He lifted my hand to his lips and pressed a firm kiss to the skin. He let go of my hand and placed the necklace back into the cardboard box.

“I should go, you’ve got an early day tomorrow. I don’t want to keep you up,” Harry said, putting the contents back into the box.

“When do you leave again for tour?” I asked quietly, watching him. He closed the lid and picked up the box, putting it back at the bottom of my closet.

“On the twenty-seventh, so like three weeks.” He explained, sitting back down next to me on the floor and leaning back against the bed.

“When do you come back?”

“December.” I nodded, thinking about how long that would be.

About two months.

“What are you thinking about?” Harry asked, his eyes glued to my face.

“Just about how long that would be.”

“Only like two months,” he told me. We sat in the quiet for a little while before he began standing up. “I should really go, it’s almost ten.” He held his hands out and I took them, letting him pull me up. He didn’t let go of my hands when I got up on my feet and I looked up at him. I saw him gulp slowly as his eyes stared down at me. His tongue darted out licking his dry lips, making my eyes flicker down to his lips. My heart fluttered uncontrollably and a burst of butterflies filled my stomach. My body tingled lightly as I thought about Harry’s lips on my skin and his hands touching me. I couldn’t hold back anymore, I wanted to kiss Harry. I wanted to feel him.

He must have been thinking about the same thing because a second later, his lips were on mine. They moved carefully like he wasn’t sure how I was going to react but the moment I began kissing him back, the kisses became urgent and needy. My fingers intertwined themselves into his luscious curly locks while his dug into my side, pulling my body flushed against his.

My judgment became more and more clouded as we made our way back to the bed, collapsing onto it. His hands stopped his body from crushing mine and our lips broke apart. I moved further back up onto the bed and he followed suit before he lowered his body closer to mine. His lips pressed themselves firmly to mine and he slid a hand under my body, pressing into my back and making our chests touch. My fingers clutched his shirt tightly, raising it to be pulled off. He pulled back and lifted it up over his head, throwing it to the floor. My hands were attached his naked upper body almost immediately, feeling his warm skin and every muscle. He let out a soft groan when I took his bottom lip between my teeth, tugging it softly and then sucking on it lightly. My body lifted up when he went to pull my shirt off and I let out a soft moan when his lips began attacking my neck.

Clothes were peeled quickly from our bodies and when he was hovering over me once again, he planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. He laced our fingers together and placed our hands above my head on the pillow. His lips trailed kisses down my cheek to my lips and I felt him at my entrance. He took my bottom lip between his teeth doing exactly what I had done earlier and pushed himself inside of me, making a moan spring from mouth.

Our moans filled the small room and he sent my body into complete bliss. Everything we felt over the last seven months was poured into our movements and I knew that Harry would be the only one who would ever make me feel this way. I bit my lip as Harry kept his eyes locked with mine and his forehead pressed onto mine. His warm, minty breath fanned my face and he kept our hands above my head as he moved faster. I began to feel myself tighten around him, releasing another moan. Harry continued thrusting his hips and I felt the knot inside my body become undone, making my toes curl and my body lose control. I felt the pleasure erupt through my body, shooting down through every sense. I felt his body tensed above mine, bucking his hips into mine, releasing inside of me. He let out a groan as his movements slowed to a stop. We were panting, trying to catch our breath.

Harry collapsed beside me, pulling the blanket over our warm naked bodies and he pulled me into his side. I curled into his side as he buried his face into my neck, kissing it softly. “I really do love you, Kaylin.” I heard him whisper into my ear before kissing the skin below my ear. When I heard him say those words, I believed him. I knew he loved me and I knew that I love him.

“I love you too,” I barely whispered back, clutching onto his body and closing my eyes.

I don’t know how we ended up here but I knew that I honestly didn’t care because I had Harry next to me again and I didn’t want to let go. He made me feel safe again, like I was at home.