Just A Small Wolf

“It was a kiss,” he explained in a condescending tone, “don’t tell me you’ve never been kissed.”

“I’ve been kissed,” I paused, “but not… not like th- not by you… not...” I struggled to say. I hated it. I hated being attracted to him. I hated loving that kiss but oh that kiss. I’d never experienced a kiss like that before. He was so gentle yet so firm. I struggled to believe it happened in my head.

“So, what’s wrong?” he asked completely changing the topic.

“Uh, just stuff,” I explained mysteriously. My mind couldn’t leave the thought of that kiss. The feeling of his hands placed on my hips. “Adam,” I thought to myself. “Adam. Adam. Adam,” I repeated in my head.

“For example?” he pushed on. He still sat timidly without touching me as I looked around. The forest had always been so fascinating to me, even as a child. The autumn leaves shouting colours of amber and orange at me seemed almost magical. The forest floor was covered in them, just lying there. I looked back at Hunter for a moment to notice him still waiting but I didn’t answer. He was all talk. I could tell. The way he had nervously placed his hands on my waist – this was how I knew. I almost felt like that meant he had real feelings for me.

“My mother hates me, my father is nowhere to be seen, I’m grounded for another three days for seeing Adam and I can’t seem to do much right lately,” I blurted out in one go. I began to smile as I said it realizing how stupid I sounded. People in the world had worse problems than I did but that didn’t prevent me from becoming upset. I looked at Hunter again awaiting his response this time but he said nothing. I looked at the ground as I often did and thought about what I had just said.

I felt the warmth of his hand touch my face as he gently guided my eyes away from the ground. Chills ran down my spine as he did. “You’re not a failure,” he told me. I touched his hand gently, placing it back in his lap. I didn’t say anything more but just sat in silence. “And life can’t be all that bad, I mean, you have me,” he teased arrogantly. Another silence fell. The silence lasted for a while but it wasn’t awkward. I stared at the ground as I could feel Hunter’s eyes on me. I began to play with an amber leave from the ground, tearing it apart from the stem of it. “That kiss, hm?” he laughed while moving his eyes away from me. The thoughts flooded back into my head as I remembered his hands nervously touching me, his lips locked with mine.

“Yeah,” I said unconsciously. Both gazes shot up to one another’s in a synchronised movement.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked abruptly. My mind began to go crazy as he asked. He was obviously showing interest before but now this means he would consider dating me. Oh my God. I did not want to date him, I can tell you that but something about what he said made me go crazy.

“Well, no but…” I started remembering Adam. He wasn’t my boyfriend of course but I did wish he was.

“But?” he pushed.

“I don’t know. There’s just this guy I like, I really like,” I explained.

“As always,” he commented in a snarky tone. A small amount of anger tinted my mood as his tone of voice hit me. I was never going to believe Hunter had real feelings for me but sometimes it sure seemed like he did. Yet another moment of silence passed as I felt his eyes staring at me whilst I kept my eyes down. I look up at him slowly wondering what he was thinking.

“I-“ before I got to finish my sentence I was interrupted by Hunter’s hand gently placed over my mouth. Usually this would be a aggressive gesture but the way he did it made it seem the opposite. He hands were gentle and warm against my skin as I looked up from his hand.

“Cassandra…” he began before taking his hand away slowly, “I don’t care.” His words were harsh but he said them with such sweetness.

“You’re an asshole.” A sentence came quickly and immediately from my mouth in response to his bitterness. I got up from the comfort of the tree and began to walk away. I was kind of hoping he would follow me - I wanted to know if he cared – but at the same time I just wanted to have never have met him. I didn’t hear any footsteps but my own as I walked away. I wasn’t sure where I was walking since I couldn’t go back to the village yet but I was walking somewhere. I began to think about Adam again. I remembered mother grounding me again. I remembered how my family doesn’t care about me.

“Cassandra!” I heard Hunter call. His footsteps came close at a fast pace but I continued walking. He held my shoulders as he spun me around. “I didn’t mean that, it’s just… I like you.”