Love's Spiral

Derek was shocked at how tight Spencer’s hold was on him. Just the other day, she could barely force his head to face her. Now as her arms were wrapped around his neck, it was almost starting to hurt. Derek didn’t mind though. For just a moment, he had let his guard down. Derek let himself feel something. What he felt for Spencer in this way, gave his heart the tiniest flutter. As soon as he felt it, his body went rigid.

Spencer felt his awkwardness and pulled away, letting him put her down. “Sorry.” Spencer said, looking at her feet. She felt her face blush in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to jump on you like that.”

Derek lost his words. It had been so long since he had let himself feel something for the opposite sex. Even though Spencer was on his side when it came to the werewolf thing, he was still worried that she would betray him somehow. Derek forced that thought out of his mind and tried to focus on Spencer. He cupped her chin with a hand, and brought her up to look at him. Derek saw embarrassment and a little bit of hope in her eyes.

Spencer sighed, closing her eyes slowly. She liked feeling his touch.

“Let’s get you home.” Derek grumbled, after a minute.

Spencer nodded, agreeing with him. She was tired. It had been a long day. She wanted to grab his hand or arm, just to bring comfort to them both.

Derek, though, kept his distance and kept his hands in his jacket pockets.

Spencer exhaled all the frustration she had towards him, to keep herself from getting angry. The two moved to opposite sides of Derek’s Camaro and got in quickly. Spencer itched with anticipation at the silence between them. Sure, Derek wasn’t the most talkative person in the world, but there were still questions and things that needed to be discussed. Spencer bit the inside of her cheek. She didn’t know where to start.

“So, Scott, he did pretty good at the game.” Spencer boasted.

Derek didn’t respond. He only kept his eyes forward and a hand on the steering wheel.

“I mean, he, uh, didn’t kill anyone.” Spencer added. Still there was no response. The redhead grumbled, quietly. “I have super, crazy, good hearing.” Finally she got a reaction out of Derek.

He turned to her with a wrinkled brow.

“It comes and goes. I’m not sure what causes it. But it happened today at the game when Scott shifted. Also earlier, when Stiles had the wolfbane flower that he took from your…” Spencer slowed, realizing where her brain was taking her. She quickly said, “house.” instead of ‘sister’s grave.’

Derek grumbled and shrugged back to looking at the road. He had started thinking over what Spencer said.

Spencer decided that it was a good idea to keep her mouth shut before she said something stupid and upset Derek. The last thing she needed was him driving off as soon as she got out of his car. Spencer was confused. She didn’t know what was going on with her. The book was confused. Half of the words she couldn’t understand; she’d never heard of them before. She was also in disarray when it came to what was going on between her and Derek. They had kissed a few times, and she definitely felt very strongly about him. She was mortified that he could think it was only some benefits thing. Spencer wouldn’t give him anything unless she was in some sort of relationship with him.

Derek parked a block from Spencer’s house. He kept his hand on the gear shift and the car on. Spencer looked at him, hopefully and quickly moved her gaze down to her hands in her lap.

“So, are you going to come in?” Spencer asked. Derek looked to her, not understanding. “Sneak in?”

“Why?” Derek asked, harshly.

“Why?” Spencer repeated. She was hurt by his question. Spencer’s thoughts were jumbled as she tried to piece things together. “Well, I mean, I wanna talk to you.” She said, quietly.

“About what?” Derek’s retort made Spencer feel angry.

“‘About what?’!” Spencer yelled. “Derek, I watched you get hauled away in a cop car this morning, for a murder that you didn’t commit. Things are happening to me that I don’t understand, and if you won’t help me, the only other person who can, can’t even remember my name. And let’s not forget you.”

“What about me?” Derek growled.

Spencer groaned in frustration. “You - you kiss me, and make me feel things that I didn’t feel with Stiles. Now, you’re acting like none of that mattered. Like I’m just some kid with a crush.”

“You are a kid!”

Spencer felt her blood boil and her skin crawl. She breathed, heavily, now that she was steaming mad at Derke. All she saw was red. Without thinking, she lifted her hand and slapped him hard across the face. She expected her hand to be burning with pain, but it wasn’t. “I’m not a kid!” Spencer screamed at him. Shortly, her vision refocused and she looked at Derek’s face and the damage she had done. Three slashes went from his ear to his nose. They were already starting to heal, but a small amount of blood still trickled from them. Spencer looked down at her hand, bewildered at what just happened. Her nails weren’t nails, but claws. She gasped as she watched them change back to her normal black colored nails. Spencer looked back to Derek with fright in her eyes. “What the hell was that?!”

“Me testing a theory.”

“What theory?!”

Derek didn’t answer. Instead, he looked at the clock on his center console. “You should get inside. It’s late and your mom’s home.”

Spencer looked at him in disbelief. “Are you gonna explain to me what’s going on?” Spencer asked, but in a way, it sounded like she was demanding.

“I don’t know how I can explain when I don’t even know.” Spencer looked at him and half pouted her bottom lip. Derek sighed. “Leave your window open.”

Spencer smiled. “Always.” Spencer unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door. She paused for a second. “Did you mean what you said? About me being a kid?”

“You are a kid.” Derek admitted.

Spencer’s heart dropped.

“But right now, I’m okay with it.”

The girl felt her heart lift back into her chest. Spencer showed Derek a half smile and pushed herself out of the car. “Sorry for slapping you.” She said leaning down to look at him.

Derek nodded. He understood.

Spencer stood up straight, slammed the door, and walked down the block to her house. It wasn’t cold, but a breeze flew by, making her shiver. It also gave her a bad feeling, so she walked a little faster. Spencer knew that Derek was somewhere close to her, but whether she liked it or not, there could come a time when Derek wasn’t around to come to her rescue. She opened the door to her house to see her mother standing in front of all the pictures in the living room. Amy didn’t turn. She must not have heard Spencer open the door.

“Amy.” Spencer said.

Amy jumped at the sound of her daughter’s voice. Amy turned towards Spencer, smiling. “Hi, sweetie. Where’s your boyfriend? Mr. Hot Stuff?”

Spencer groaned. “Derek’s not my boyfriend. We’re just friends.” Spencer told her, even though she didn’t know what they were.

“With benefits?” Spencer’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t believe what just came out of her mother’s mouth. Who was the adult here?

“Can you be a mom for a few minutes?” Spencer begged.

Amy nodded. “Sure, babe, what’s up?”

“Okay, um, I talked to Sheriff Stilinski today.”

Amy nodded.

“I don’t know how he knew, or why it came up, but he said, if I wanted, and it was alright with you, that I could move in with him and Stiles.”

Amy backed away slightly, looking hurt.

“It’s been hard, since Dad’s accident. I have about a year and a half left of school, and I want to make it so I’m not stressed out at home. And Dad’s been getting worse. I know that you’ve been at the hospital so much lately, and I know it’s my fault. This will be better on Dad, too. You guys can finally have a normal marriage.” Spencer stared at Amy, who hadn’t said anything or moved from her spot. “Amy?”

“Okay.” Amy nodded at her daughter, eyes nearly brimming with tears. “You can move in with them.”

“Are you okay?” Spencer asked, stepping towards her mother.

“I’m okay. I’m just sorry. I know it’s been hard, I just never really thought that it affected you so much. I should have paid more attention to you.” Amy reached out to hug Spencer, who stood in her mother’s arms. “I am so sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I promise. I just don’t wanna tip-toe around Dad anymore.” Spencer said, pulling away. Amy wiped under her eyes and smiled, nodding her head.

“So, what can I help you with?” Amy asked, heading in the direction of Spencer’s room. “You wanna get packing? I have some boxes out in the garage.”

“Actually, I’m kinda tired. The game ran a little long. Maybe tomorrow? I’ve got a couple of strong friends that I can call to help with the furniture.”

“Alright. Tomorrow.” Amy smiled and went to hug her daughter again. “I’m so sorry, Spencer. Your dad’s accident was a lot to deal with, but I never meant to ignore you.”

Spencer nodded. She was about to head off to her room, but she stopped. “How did it happen?” Spencer asked Amy. “Dad’s accident. I know it wasn’t a car crash.”

Amy shrugged. “Honestly, I have no idea. One day, I got a call from Scott’s mom and she said that they had brought him in during the night. Head injury. He woke up and couldn’t remember anything that happened.”

“Oh.” Spencer said, finally retreating towards her room. “Night.” She called softly. Amy smiled.

“Good night, Spencer.”

Spencer opened the door to her room, expecting to see Derek sitting on her bed, but he wasn’t there. Someone had closed her window. She sighed and walked over to it after closing and locking her door. Spencer opened the window and leaned out, looking for Derek. “Derek?” she whispered, knowing he could hear if he was around. “You out there?” She didn’t see him, so she sighed, pushed herself off of the window sill. Something grabbed her wrist, though, and held her there. Spencer opened her mouth to scream, but stopped when a hand touched her face, and a pair of lips crashed to her own. Her vision became clear and she saw Derek had appeared in front of her and kissed her. Spencer sighed into the kiss, but hated the half wall that they had between them. She pulled away and let him jump in the window.

“I thought your window was always opened for me.” Derek said, smirking, moving around Spencer to stand by her bed.

Spencer shrugged. “Amy must have closed it. She was probably worried with the murder.”

Derek nodded, the smirk falling off of his face. “Oh, damn. Derek, I’m sorry.” She said, walking in front of him. “Sometimes my mouth moves faster than my brain and I never know what I'm gonna blurt out next.”

Derek shook his head at her. “It’s fine.” He said, dismissively.

“No, it’s not. That was your sister. Are you okay?”

“Red, I’m fine.” Derek assured. “I don’t want to think about it. So let’s just lay here.” Derek said, sitting on her bed, and pulling Spencer so she straddled him.

“This isn’t exactly a position I would call laying.” Spencer corrected, feeling very insecure.

“Well, let’s see what we can do like this.” Derek dipped his head down and nuzzled into her neck, slowly planting kisses and catching her scent.

Spencer let out a shaky breath. “What about what happened?” She asked, lifting up her chin, making it easier for him. “I scratched you.”

“All is forgiven.” Derek said, in a muffled voice.

Spencer groaned and pushed herself off of Derek. “Derek, no.” He looked shocked that she’d left his grasp. “Derek, you need to tell me what you think is going on with me.”

“I don’t even know what’s happening. It’s just a hunch.”

“Then explain it to me. ‘Cause I’m a little freaked out that I had claws ten minutes ago.” Spencer ordered.

Derek sighed. “Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been so angry that you wanted to lash out?”

Spencer shook her head. “I don’t think so. I’ve always been in control of my temper. My dad used to tell me that there was nothing worth getting too angry over. I was one stable kid growing up.”

“Have you ever felt...different on full moons?”

“What are you getting at?”

“I don’t know, but the hearing and the scratches. I could mean that you’re like me.” Derek said.

Instantly, Spencer became confused. She pushed her brows together.

“A werewolf.” He clarified.

Spencer stared at him, before laughing quietly. “Derek, that’s ridiculous. I’m a witch. Today, I controlled a car with my mind.”

Derek shrugged. “Maybe you’re both?” he suggested.

Spencer shook her head. “No, the book specifically said one thing. I’d change into one of the three. And I’m a witch.”

Derek shrugged again.

“Look, the book also said that I’d show characteristics of who I’m helping. Maybe it’s that. Maybe I’m spending too much time with you.” Spencer joked.

The corner of Derek’s mouth turned up slightly.

Spencer sat on the bed, next to Derek. “But I’m fine. I’m not all wolfy and full moons have never been weird for me. You saw me on the last one. I was so in control.”

“Okay.” Derek said, still unconvinced. The two sat on the bed, awkwardly. Spencer kept looking over at Derek, who was looking everywhere but at her.

“Are you disappointed?” Spencer asked, softly.

Derek looked at her, confused.

“That I’m not a werewolf. That I’m not like you.”

Derek shied away and shrugged.

“C’mon, answer me.”

“I’d be lying if I said no.” Derek said.

Spencer nodded and moved back to lean against the wall.

“Not because we’re not the same. But if you were, you’d be less breakable.” Derek joined Spencer to lean against the wall.

“I’m not breakable.” Spencer claimed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Red, I could snap your arm in half with one hand.” Derek told her, crudely.

Spencer was scared of him for just a moment.

“Not that I would. I don’t want to scare you away.”

“Well, you haven’t yet. So I think you’re good. Even if Scott and Stiles don’t like me hanging out with you. They still think you killed your sister.”

Derek’s lips drew in a straight line when Spencer said that.

Spencer slapped her forehead. “Oh, damn. I’m sorry. My filter is just failing today.”

Derek put an arm around Spencer’s shoulders to pull her into him and forget what she said.

Spencer curled herself to his side. She sighed and closed her eyes, breathing him in. Just like with her hearing, her sense of smell was better than ever. She smelt the foresty musk in his jacket. There was a soft smell of burnt wood. He had been by his house since he was released. The most prominent aroma was his cologne. Spencer loved this most of all. It relaxed her. Made her feel happy. Spencer drifted off to sleep in Derek’s arms.

Derek, himself, was in his own kind of conflicted heaven. He loved being around her. He always made sure she was safe, which gave him a sort of purpose. Derek also knew that it was dangerous for her to be around him. But he couldn’t stay away. He wasn’t sure what it was, but when he wasn’t with her, his mind was going crazy, continuously thinking about her. It was getting risky, but Derek wouldn’t hurt her.

!@#$#@!

Monday Morning

Spencer rolled over and groaned when her cell phone rang early in the morning. She bumped into a large warm body with an ‘oomph.’ Spencer rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and realized she had rolled into Derek. He still remained asleep, peacefully. Spencer smiled and shook her head at him. She reached over him to get her phone and answer it.

“Hello?” she greeted, groggily.

“Oh, thank God!”

Spencer furrowed her brow. “Stiles?” Spencer questioned

“Yes! It’s Stiles! Where the hell have you been?” Stiles asked.

“Why are you yelling?” Spencer asked, rubbing her forehead. She looked over at Derek who was slowly coming out of his sleeping state.

“You haven’t been answering your phone. All weekend!”

“I’ve stayed home with Derek. I’m find. And alive, if that’s what you’re really getting at.” Spencer rolled onto her side, facing away from Derek.

“Don’t think for a second that your little disappearing act on Friday is forgiven. You scared the crap out of me.” Stiles scolded.

“Stiles, what’s the real reason you called me two hours before my alarm goes off?” Spencer asked Stiles.

Derek moved to his side, facing Spencer’s back, and kissed the back of Spencer’s neck to calm her down. If anything, it drove her insane; hormones going crazy.

Stiles sighed. “Scott told me he had some freaky realistic dream last night about Allison. He wants us to get together early to talk about it. Do you want a ride to school?”

Spencer giggled when Derek bit lightly on her spine.

“What’s so funny?”

“Uh, nothing.” She lied, quickly. “But, sure. I’d love a ride to school, but in an hour. I need more sleep.”

Stiles laughed. “Alright, Spence. I’ll see you soon.”

Spencer hung with Stiles and threw her phone over Derek and the side of the bed to the floor. She rolled over to look at Derek with a smile. “Hasn’t anyone ever taught you any manners?” Spencer joked.

Derek shrugged.

“You shrug too much.”

Derek responded with, yet, another shrug.

Spencer shook her head. “You’re ridiculous.” Spencer pushed herself forward to kiss Derek hard and quick. “I had fun this weekend.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in a bed with a girl this much without having sex.” Derek lightly traced her arms with his fingers.

“Is that a bad thing?” Spencer asked.

“Not at all. I had never seen The Lion King either, so it was something new.”

Spencer laughed. “I still can’t believe the amount of movies you haven’t seen.”

“Well, you can help me change that.” Derek told the girl.

Spencer smiled. “What are we doing?” She asked, without thinking. She cursed herself in her mind.

What do you mean?” Derek asked.

Spencer took a deep breath. “Well, I’m just confused. We kiss. A lot.” she stressed. “You sleep here. In my bed. With me. So, what are we? Are we dating, friends, just hanging out?”

Derek sat up in the bed when he realized what she was asking. He sighed.

She sat up next to him.

“Well, I know what you want. But I’m not sure that I can be that for you.”

Spencer hung her head, biting the inside of her cheek.

“The girl before. It ended badly.”

“It’s fine.” Spencer said, stopping him from continuing. “I was just wondering. Especially after this weekend. But we’re okay. We can just keep to what we’re doing.”

“You want more. You deserve more. Why would you put up with me and what little I have for you?”

Spencer shrugged. “I just don’t want to be without you.”