One Hundred Sleepless Nights

[Vic's POV]

"See you Monday, dude! Can't wait, tour's gonna be fucking sick!" Austin waved at me and he shut the door.
I scratched the side of my head, and I turned around to see a huge mess in my living room. There was red cups sitting on the coffee table, the couch was ripped on the side of the cushion, and the light bulb was flickering. I walked over to try to turn it so it would stop flickering, but it burned me.
"Wow, I'm fucking stupid." I said to myself. Why would I do that?
I looked at the mess in my living room and placed my hands in my back pockets. Jaime and Tony left for the bar, and Mike was outside loading our gear into Jaxin's van. He was going to help us ship our gear to the tour bus once it arrived at Austin's place tomorrow night.
I was tired. Today was a really long day for me. I was sick of hospitals and alcohol. I needed to head to bed. This was my last night in bed for a long time. I couldn't wait to just sleep the night away.

My legs were barely allowing me to walk up the steps to my room. I was overly exhausted from all this tour talk that I needed to rest my head.
I pushed my bedroom door open with my shoulder and I saw Elendra bundled up under my blankets. I walked over quietly to the side of my bed, taking my tank off over my head and slipping my cut offs off. I tried to quietly get into my bed, but it made a squeaking noise that made Elendra jump up. She perked up, her brown hair falling onto her bare back. She turned around, holding her hand on her chest.
"You scared me." She said, looking down trying to gather all of her breath back.
I pulled her blanket back up for her. Her skin was getting goose bumps. I could tell she was cold.
"I didn't mean to," I whispered. She placed her head back on the tilted white pillow, and I found myself gently stroking her hair back from her face. "Go to sleep."
The moon was shining perfectly onto her face. She had perfect bone structure. The bridge of her nose was perfect. The tip of her nose was a septum ring. I thought it was kind of hot that she had that in. Her lips were a pale pink. They were full. I remember when I got to feel them for the first time. It was a crazy feeling, I'm telling you.
She turned to rest on her back, and she looked up at me. Her hazel eyes were beginning to gaze into mine again. Her freckles appeared more clearer on her cheeks. She barely had any, but they were the cutest thing ever.
"You don't have a shirt on." She stuck her tongue out after she said that. I saw her mouth form into a small smile.
"Thanks for pointing out the obvious." I rolled my eyes jokingly.
"It's kind of hot." Elendra said.
"Are you implying something?"
"Not at all, you sicko."
I laughed a little. I didn't get what the point of that was. Maybe I would get lucky tonight?
I erased that thought from my head. If I was to get anything from her, it'd be a slap to the face. She wasn't easy.
Elendra shut her eyes, and she breathed in deeply and let out a sigh.
I leaned down, brushing her bangs from her forehead and gently kissed the top of it. Her eyes opened and I saw her look at me. She was smiling.
Elendra wrapped an arm around my neck, and she made her way to my lips to kiss me. It was something I've never felt before. The way she kissed me was just something I couldn't explain. The ways her lips moved perfectly on mine was a feeling that went straight to a place I've never had it go before.
She was sitting up now, her hands on my bare sides. Her lips moved faster over mine. Each time the kisses got harder, and I was craving more from her.
My hands went to the bottom of her tank, and I began to slowly slip it off. Our lips tugged apart and she put her hands high into the air and allowed me to take it off. I threw it to the ground, and I felt her tackle herself into my arms. Elendra wrapped her arms around my neck, her lips crashing down onto mine harder before. She tugged at my bottom lip and after she would tug, she would crush her lips onto mine sealing it with a kiss. I loved it when she did that. My hands were on her back. Her skin was soft, I couldn't believe how soft it was.
Our lips were apart again, and I kissed her shoulder, up to her neck to her jawline. I could hear her moan a little something in the back of her throat, which made her take her nails and claw them down my back. I could feel the tips of her fingers grabbing onto my sweaty skin every time I kissed her neck. Her nails went up my back, to the top of my shoulders and shimmied their way to the sides of my face where she kissed me again. She held my face there, our lips still on top of each others. Her hair fell into her face, and I kissed her again. Her lips tackled me again with a rough kiss, and my hands went to the back of her bra. didn't know what I was getting myself into. I wanted to stop myself because I knew this was just bad news overall.
She looked at me with the most innocent look on her face. I kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, and made my way to her neck where she loved to be kissed. As I kissed up her neck I could hear her say my name, and I shoved her strap off of her shoulder. I looked at her, she was sitting on my lap now with her thighs wrapped strongly around my waist.
"You're so beautiful, Elendra..." I began to say. I looked at her and couldn't believe what was in front of me. "My God, you're so beautiful."
Elendra pushed me down to where my head was collapsed onto my pillow and I pulled the blankets over our heads. I heard her gasp. You could guess what I did next.

[Elendra's POV]

I rolled over onto my back next to Vic, my heart was racing. I was breathing heavy and I had a strand of my hair in my face. I moved it out of my mouth, and then I moved the blankets from over my back. Did I just do what I think I did? I couldn't believe how good it felt. I've never felt this much passion before. My body was aching. I turned over to my side, to see Vic laying there moving his hair over his forehead. He was sweating and he was breathing heavy.
Vic looked at me and he smiled.
All I could do was smile back at him. I didn't expect this to happen to us...ever. I basically just fucked him. I've never done this with anyone, so I was happy someone I trusted had something so precious of mine.
I cuddled up to Vic, placing my head on his chest. I felt him put his fingers gently in my hair, and he kept his hand there. I shut my eyes. I think I could sleep well tonight.

The next morning was a tough pill to swallow. I woke up by myself. I found myself with my arm drooped over the side of the bed and my mouth wide open. I was topless and cold. I perched myself up on an elbow to see Vic frantically looking around for clothes to put in his suit case. He saw I was awake, and chucked a t-shirt at my face.
"Smell it." Vic ordered me.
What? Did he just ask me to smell it? "Why the hell would I do that?"
"I can't tell if it's clean or not."
"Um, maybe you should put your clothes in a drawer instead of the fucking floor and we wouldn't have this problem." I said it half joking. This boy needed to clean his room up.
I got up from the bed and found a shirt sitting on the floor. I pulled it over my head and fixed it so it was centered right. I could give less than two fucks if I had a bra on.
Vic was closing his suit case. "I have to leave now."
I sighed to myself. I forgot he started tour in a couple days. I had such a good time I forgot that he had to leave me for a couple days.
I walked over to him, and I collapsed my head into his chest. I wasn't going to cry. I don't think I could. "Please don't go..." I silently begged. I kept my voice at a soft whisper.
He placed his hand in my hair again and he breathed in heavily. "Elendra, don't do this..."
I looked up at him and kissed the side of his jaw.
"I don't want to be alone again."
"You're not alone, okay? I'm just a phone call away."
"Yeah, JUST a PHONE CALL." I sarcastically added. I had to say it like that or my point wouldn't be across.
I felt him look down at me, and his mouth fell open. Shit, I think he noticed my cut.
I put my arm behind me and stepped away from him.
"Elendra, give me your fucking arm."
"No, Vic. Please don't be mad."
"What the fuck is this for?" He yanked for my arm, exposing the beat red cut on my wrist. This is when the tears were starting to form in my eyes. I was in trouble. "How am I going to trust you when I'm gone?"
Vic was raising his voice at me. He was really upset that I did it again, but he didn't understand the process that went on in my head. He didn't understand how badly I hate myself. He didn't understand how shitty my life really was.
"Vic, you can..."
"No, I fucking can't."
"Stop yelling at me, please..." I was choking up. My eyes were dripping tears down the side of my face. I could feel old mascara making their way down my cheeks. They were the thick tears I dreaded to cry the most.
"Elendra, why the fuck do you do this to yourself? Do you even know why you almost died the other night? Think before you put that to your wrist, for fucks sake!"
He picked up his suit case and I heard him slam the door behind him as he stormed out of his bedroom.
I wanted to chase him but I couldn't. I didn't want him to leave this way. I don't know when I would hear from him, and if I would.
I always had to mess everything up, didn't I?

I looked over in the corner of where I put my sweatshirt, and the shard of glass was sticking out from under my hoodie. I thought about it for a second. Was cutting over this really worth it? I was beyond scared now. I was trembling, I was crying hard now, and I could barely breathe right.
I knew what I was going to do tonight.