Walking Travesty

My hands shake as I turn the shower on. I swallow hard, my throat hurting from all the yelling I'd done that night. I slip out of my clothes and sit down in the tub, letting the hot spray fall down on my naked body, mixing in with the tears still streaming down my face .
I can still hear my parents screaming at each other downstairs. It seems like lately they start yelling at me, and when I leave they start yelling at each other. It was my fault they were always fighting. I always did something wrong. I was tearing them apart .
If my mom hadn't gotten pregnant with me they never would have gotten married. They would be happy. I purse my lips and stare at the blade that sits on the edge of the tub. The metal was fogging up slowly. I grab it, wiping the steam off of it. I turn it over in my hands for a minute, before pressing it against my skin .

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I wake up suddenly, my brain taking a minute to process the fact that I was in my bed and not in the shower. I frown and settle deeper into the sheets. Where had that dream- memory come from ? I sigh, then yawn before rolling back over and closing my eyes.
Before I can even think about falling back asleep, my alarm goes off. I groan and roll back over and stretch. Even though I'd gone to bed early, it felt like I'd gotten an hour of sleep instead of eight.
I get out of bed and walk sleepily out of my cold room and into the bathroom where I take a quick shower. I push my dream out of my mind. Or try to, at least.
I finish getting ready and go downstairs where I quietly make myself breakfast since my mom seems to still be asleep.
I'm finishing my third cup of coffee when I hear Emily's horn honking outside.
I slip on my shoes and hurry out to her car, shivering when I realize a cold rain is falling.
"Good morning, slutbag," she greets as she hands me the usual cup of coffee.
"Morning," I grumble in response as I sip the hot, overly sweetened drink.
"Didn't sleep last night?" she guesses as she pulls out of my driveway.
I shake my head. "Nah, I did. Doesn't feel like it though."
"How'd dinner with the 'rents go?" she asks, which confuses me since I hadn't told her. She notices my confusion and grins. "Jack was whining to me about not being able to go over to Alex's last night 'cause you guys were bonding with his parents."
I laugh a little, then shrug. "It was good. His parents are really nice. He invited me to the senior ball."
Her eyes widen and she takes her eyes off of the road for a frightening amount of time to look at me. "God, if you said no I will fucking strangle you, then chop of your toes an-"
"I said yes," I interrupt, laughing at her.
She takes her eyes off the road again, to give me a surprised look. "Seriously?"
"Seriously," I reply. "Now pay attention to the road."
She does, but a wide grin spreads across her face. "When is it?"
"End of the month."
"We're going shopping Friday."
I groan and lean back in the seat. "I'm perfectly capable of shopping alone, Em."
"No you're not," she informs me as she pulls into the school parking lot.
"Bye," I say with a sigh as I get out of her car.
Almost as soon as she drives away I feel arms wrap around my waist. "Hello," Alex says in my ear.
I smile and pull out of his grip, and turn to look at the smiling boy. "Hi." He ducks down to plant a kiss on my lips, but I step out of his reach and laugh at his frown. "I refuse to be the obnoxious, PDA obsessed couple."
He rolls his eyes and, ignoring me, kisses me. His lips are warm and taste like coffee. "Oops," he says with a laugh. He slides his arm around my waist and pulls me into the school with him. "My mom won't shut up about how cute you are."
I smile, more than a little flattered. "I have that affect on people."
We stop at my locker, then his. I lean against the locker next to his and yawn. He glances at me and frowns. "You look tired."
"Thanks for politely telling me I look like shit," I say with a smirk.
He shuts his locker and rolls his eyes. "You look hot. Did you not sleep well or something?"
I shake my head and walk in the direction of English. "I fell asleep right after I got home. I just had some weird dreams."
He raises an eyebrow, and smirks a little. "Any involving me?"
I laugh and elbow him. "You wish, tool bag."
He frowns and elbows me back. "If you dreamt about fucking Jack I will literally break up with you right now."
I laugh and wiggle my eyebrows up and down. "Damn, you totally caught me." We both laugh and walk into the classroom, taking our seats.
Halfway through the lesson he leans over and whispers, "Wanna hangout after school?"
"I have therapy right after," I whisper back apologetically.
"Can't you skip?" he asks.
"Alexander, is my lesson interrupting your conversation?" Mr. Martin asks, causing a few giggles to spread across the classroom.
Alex apologizes, but as soon as our teacher turns his back, he turns back to look at me questioningly. I shrug my shoulders. "I could..." I shouldn't. But I could. It's not like the appointments were helping me at all, right?
He smiles, then turns his attention back to the class, and I try to pay attention, while my brain wanders between Alex and last nights dream.