Mercy on Me

Hey guys! Is this me updating by my one-week deadline? I think it is... Hell, I'm not really sure.

I am so happy, simply because it is around 1130 at night right now! Don't I normally end up publishing these things around 3 in the morning? Instead of writing this chapter straight through, I wrote it in a couple of days instead.

Who's excited for more than eight hours of sleep?!

But wow, that finale... Michonne made me cry, so hard. But my man Daryl, he's still there, thank the heavens! *How do you think the Governor's little road trip with Martinez is going right about now?

Alright, time to get writing my responses to all of your wonderful reviews!!

Remember, I don't own the Walking Dead; I wish I had a rock on my finger and my last name was Reedus, though...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
XxSad_GurlxX; Thank you! Hearing stuff like that makes me so happy, you have no idea. Thanks for the review!(:

RoadieEm; I cried so. Friggen. Hard. You would've thought one of my own family members died. When Norman started crying.. Oh my God. This girl right here was a WRECK. When I read your review I ran up to my sister and said "One of my readers just called my chapter 'Bloody brilliant'.. How awesome is that?!" Just thought I'd tell you(:

HotRanger69; Goodness, you write the best reviews! When Shane saved his head, I was so upset! That Mr. Bernthal, I'm telling you; he's gorgeous. I've played Speed as well! Spit is a variation of Speed; both are probably my two favorite card games.. I hate short chapters, so I always make sure that the chapters are lengthy! Whenever I write my chapters, I end up staying up until the sun rises; it's ridiculous, but I love writing this story. Reading that you watched The Hobbit makes me love you even more! I am a Lord of the Rings girl at heart! I'm jealous of your warm weather! It's only Spring here and we had snow last week! It's FREEZING! Silly Jersey. Hope you enjoy the chapter !(:

DHeffernan6661; Wow, thank you so much! Hearing that means so much to me! I hope you enjoy the next chapter!(:
**All of you are SO wonderful!**
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next morning, I woke up to a strange smell tickling my nose. Scrunching up my nose, I sniffed the air as I scratched my scalp lightly.

“Jesus Christ, what the hell is that?” I gagged, sitting up.

When I caught Daryl smirking at me, my finger flew up into his face.

“Don’t say it!” I warned him.

“Lord’s...” he began, rolling his eyes playfully.

“Don’t do it!” I yelled, even though I couldn’t help but smile.

“Name,”.

Lifting my hand up, I smacked the side of his head.

“Seriously though, what the hell is that smell?” I groaned, holding my breath.

“God, no need ta keep saying it..” Daryl grumbled from his side of the truck.

“That thing came out of you? God damn!” I laughed, rolling the window down in the truck.

Gasping obnoxiously for clean air, I threw my top half out of the window and rested against the glass, staring up at the sky upside down.

“Someone’s bitchy this morning..” Daryl’s voice called out from the truck.

I began to kick my legs blindly, hoping to kick him, but when I felt his large hands wrap around my legs, I gave up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Who’s there?” I asked loudly when I heard footsteps approaching the truck.

“Need ta speak to ma brother,” I heard Merle say as he slowly came into view.

Looking at him upside almost made me laugh, but I quickly remembered my rude ushering of him out of my life.

“Hey, asshole,” I grunted, flailing my legs around again.

“I heard ‘em, calm yourself, dammit!” Daryl growled from inside of the truck as he began swatting at my legs.

I didn’t let up this time, though.

“Keep going and I’ll flip your ass right outta my truck,”.

That made me stop. With another grunt, I pulled my upper half back into the truck and blinked a couple times as the blood rushed away from my head.

Looking between the two brothers, I sensed that I couldn’t be around for the conversation that would be happening shortly.

“Guess I’ll let y’all have your little powwow in here, then..” I sighed, hopping out of the truck.

I glanced over at Merle as I walked away, who’s fingers were twitching slightly.

“Fuck me,” I growled, shaking my hand.

How have I not noticed? While my heart wanted me to turn around and apologize, my brain had apparently taken on some of that ‘Dixon pride’.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“They home yet?” I asked nervously upon entering the Greene house.

Looking towards Lori, who had finally joined the rest of the group, shook her head sadly. I couldn’t help but bite on a nail as I worried. If I lost Shane.. Not even Daryl could help me cope.

Leaning my head back against the pristine-white wall of the living room, thoughts of Merle and Shane ran through my mind. Was Shane okay? Was he even alive? Would Merle be okay?

When I heard a door open to my left, I turned to see Rick walking out of the bedroom, rubbing his hand tiredly against his face. When he finally opened his eyes to see the few of us that were stationed in the living room, he looked almost embarrassed, but the biggest emotion covering his face was guilt.

“Rick...” my voice came out in almost a whisper, but it was enough for him to hear me.

We stared at each intently as he shoved his hands into his pant pockets. My heart broke for the man; without thinking, I pushed off the wall and wrapped my arms tightly around his body, hugging him.

At first, Rick stood still, frozen to his spot; when he finally did wrap his arms around me, I felt a single tear splash against my bare shoulder. Glancing over at the tear on my skin, I knew that he wouldn’t want the rest of the group to see him like this.

“C’mon, let’s go outside. Get some air, okay?” I told him as I took his hand in mine.

Rick nodded, but his body was numb. When we began to head for the door, I heard someone clearing their throat. Looking over my shoulder, I knew that it had been Lori. The look on her face was complete and utter disgust.

“He needs this,” I told her in a harsh tone, which she flinched at.

We pushed out the front door as Lori started to respond, but Rick didn’t stop to listen.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I couldn’t say I was too surprised that when we finally made it to the side of the house, Rick fell to the ground, pressing up against the house.

“Hey..”.

Crouching down, I pushed some loose strands of dark air out of his face.

“He’s... He’s not gonna make it, Harper. There’s no way Shane’ll find everything Hershel needs,” Rick managed to whisper.

“If you think like that, there’s no way Carl will make it! You need to be positive, no matter what and pray for your boy, hear me?” I chastised him, my eyes glancing down towards his shaking hands.

Sitting down in front of him, I squeezed his curled up legs between my knees, forcing him to look up at me.

“You need to stay levelheaded through all of this Rick,”.

“Harper, that’s my son in there; I can’t, I—,” Rick gasped, choking back tears.

In a friendly gesture, I rubbed my thumb under his eye to wipe a stray in tear away.

“Go ahead, let it out; you know you can cry in front of me,”.

Rick’s head fell suddenly, bouncing slightly against my knees. His body shuttered slightly as his warm tears wet my legs.

“I need to be strong for everyone, you’re right,” Rick sniffled a few minutes later. Chuckling lightly, I took in his messy state.

“I never said you had to be strong, Rick; I said you had to be positive. Right now, you can be whatever you want,”.

Rick nodded slowly as he tried to compose himself. Watching him fall apart was heartbreaking; he needed something to cheer him up.

“Remember when we were little kids and we used to sit in front of the window for hours, waiting for the ice cream to drive by?” I asked him, a smile creeping onto my face.

Rick gave me a confused look, even though I could see a grin threatening to break through. Getting all excited to tell the story, I smacked his knees with the palms of my hands.

“We used to sit there for hours until the ice cream truck drove by, and when it did, what did we do?” I asked him, pressing on into the old memory.

Rick looked down at the ground, thinking about our childhood.

“We used to start yelling at the driver, right?” he asked me, clearly not too sure.

“Yeah, yeah! But when we did, we always made sure that Shane was in the room, remember? So whenever the driver looked over to make sure there were kids waiting for him, we ducked down under the window and got him in trouble,” I smiled, laughing lightly.

I was happy to see that despite the last couple of days, Rick managed to smile at the memory.. I almost fell over when he started laughing.

“Shane used to get so pissed off at us because your mom would always yell at him for stopping the ice cream man without permission,”.

We were both laughing pretty hard by now, but Rick didn’t stop me when I brought my hand to his to help him off of the ground. He watched me carefully, but a smile was still plastered across his face.

“Thank you, Harper; I really needed that,” he thanked me, but I shook my head.

“Don’t apologize, Rick; I couldn’t let everyone see you like that. Besides, we’ve been through so much together to not be able to act like this in front of each other,”.

Rick crossed his arms tightly against his hard chest, deep in thought.

“I just wish I could be like this with Lori; it’s just that—oh, never mind,” he started, but stopped when he noticed the curious look that I was giving him.

“No no, go ahead. What did I say about us being able to trust each other?” I replied, nudging his elbow lightly.

“It’s just that ever since I found the group, our relationship has been different—I mean, don’t get me wrong, we argued before we got separated, but now it’s almost every day; and now that Carl is hurt, it’s only getting worse...” Rick explained, sighing as he rubbed a hand along his jaw.

I couldn’t answer him; after all, their relationship had changed. What was Lori doing? She can’t keep leading them on!

“Harper...” Rick sighed, taking my hands in his.

“Rick?”.

When he spoke, his voice emitted a very serious tone.

“Harper, if you knew something that Lori was keeping from me, you would tell me.. Right?”.

My body froze against his as my eyes glanced down towards the floor. Rick noticed this and dipped his head to reach the level of mine, grabbing my attention quickly.

“Of course,” I smiled weakly, feeling terrible.

Rick and I were used to telling each other everything—but how could I break the story of the apocalypse? I couldn’t do it right now; Rick needed to focus on Carl. I held Rick’s gaze as he searched my eyes, as if looking for dishonesty.

“Rick, you can trust me! Stop with the creepy looks; ice cream man, remember?” I chuckled as I tried to hide the nervousness in my voice.

Rick smiled almost immediately at the reference.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But seriously Harper, thank you. Our friendship has meant the world to me since day one,” Rick told me, and before I could thank him, he pulled me into a tight hug, quickly pecking me on the cheek.

As I began to pull away, I felt Rick lay his chin down against my shoulder, so we stayed as we were for a few seconds more.

“Everything okay over here?” a rough voice asked, cutting through the air like a knife.

Twisting my head to the side so I could see who it was, I felt Rick push against my stomach slightly.

“Daryl,” Rick muttered, pushing me away from him slightly.

I could feel him staring at me, but I didn’t want to meet his gaze; he wouldn’t take this the wrong way, would he?

“Looks like I havta repeat myself: Everything okay over here?”.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yes, everything’s okay,” I reassured him, making my way over to Daryl quickly.

I went to place my hand up against chest, but he pushed my hand away roughly.

“Oh come on, Daryl..” I groaned, but he took a step away from me.

“Merle was right, wasn’t he? I defended ya, Harper!” Daryl growled through gritted teeth.

“What exactly did Merle say?” I heard Rick ask from behind me.

“Daryl, you know that what Merle said isn’t true. Haven’t I made that clear?” I whispered as I took a step closer to him, but he pushed his hands out in front of him to stop me from getting any closer.

Daryl craned his neck to glare at Rick from over my shoulder, despite the fact that was already taller than me.

“Is it true? Ya fuckin’ ma girl?” Daryl spat, making my body flinch. Rick’s head shot back in surprise.

“Excuse me?” I heard him say in rebuttal to Daryl’s question.

“Daryl, Rick doesn’t need this right now, not with what’s going on..”.

I tried reaching my hand out to touch his chest again, but Daryl smacked it away.

“He sure as hell needs it if he’s fuckin’ ya!” Daryl shouted.

Perfect. Just perfect.

“But he’s not, Daryl! Leave it to Merle to yet again get into your head!” I began to shout back, but Daryl rolled his eyes at my mentioning of Merle.

“I ain’t talking to ya, girl. I’m talking to Rick,”.

Rick’s footsteps began to draw closer until he was standing by my side.

“Calm down, Daryl. I can promise you that we are definitely not... like that. We grew up together, we’re just close friends,” Rick explained to him, but he wasn’t having it.

“I’ve put up with a lotta shit for you from ma brother, Harper.. I ain’t gonna be made to look like a dumbass!”.

My eyes fluttered closed on their own as my hands gripped my loose shirt tightly. I let out a deep breath to calm myself before turning to Rick.

“Go back inside, Rick,”.

“Harper, I don’t think I should...” Rick shook his head no, but I put my hand to his shoulder despite the problem that was quickly arising.

“It’s fine. Daryl would never hurt me,” I tried reassuring him, but I shuddered as Rick’s gaze slowly turned upwards toward my black eye.

“Sure about that??” Rick whispered; if I could have, I would have smacked him.

“I didn’t fucking hit her, asshole!” Daryl bellowed before lunging for Rick.

Lucky for Rick, I saw it coming; after all, I know Daryl. I stepped in front of Rick and Daryl froze almost immediately, not wanting to throw me to the floor.

“Go,” I urged Rick, and to my surprise, he did.

When I was sure that Rick had left, I turned to face Daryl, who was currently boring holes into my skin.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Daryl, why did you have to do that? You know I would never cheat on you,” I sighed, yet again attempting to take his hand in mine.

“Stop tryin’ ta touch me!” he growled, so I did. “It ain’t like you can cheat on me; never said we were datin’,” Daryl reminded me, biting on his thumbnail angrily.

“If we’re not dating, then why are you so angry?” I asked him, tapping my foot lightly.

"Because... I’m done fightin’ with ma brother for someone who’s jus’ usin’ me!” Daryl stammered, reaching for an excuse.

“No, Daryl, you’re just jealous; you always have been! Of Glenn, then Merle, now Rick.. I just don’t get it. Stop fighting with me, please,”.

This time, when I took his hands in mine, he didn’t push me away.

“I’ve said it before, girl, I ain’t jealous,” Daryl continued to argue, but he was losing his steam.

“Then stop acting like it; I know we’re not.. You know, together, together, but I’m not kissing anyone else,” I told him in a soothing voice, squeezing his hand against mine.

Daryl let out a sigh as if he was trying to believe me.

“I just ain’t used ta this,” he continued, struggling with his words.

“Used to what?” I asked Daryl, stepping a bit closer to fill in the gap that he had made between us.

“This,” he replied, emphasizing the word.

After a couple seconds I released his hand and pressed my palm flat against his chest so that I was able to feel his heart beating.

“Just remember that I’m here for that; this. Not anybody else; you,”.

I couldn’t help but let out a gasp when Daryl took my hand and kissed each knuckle lightly; I loved this side of him.

“Harper, I—you know I’m.. Ahh, shit,” Daryl mumbled as he dropped my hand against my side.

“I know, Daryl. I know,” I replied, knowing very well that he felt bad for accusing me of sleeping with Rick.

I couldn’t help but smile against his lips when his hands cupped my jaw and pulled me towards him.

“You busy?” I asked him when we pulled apart.

Daryl began to nod before chewing on another thumbnail.

“Takin’ over watch soon,” he replied, nodding his head towards the RV where Glenn sat.

“Want company?”.

My mouth broke into a smile when he nodded.

“Alright, then,” I grunted before taking a giant leap onto Daryl’s back.

“The fuck you doin’, Barbie?” the redneck let out from below me with a chuckle.

“I’m making everyone else jealous, Ken; what’s it look like I’m doing?” I mumbled against his ear before nipping at the skin on his neck as he began to walk.

My throat let out a mewl of content when Daryl wrapped his strong arms under my thighs so I wouldn’t fall.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Worried ‘bout your brother?” Daryl asked me from behind a large pair of binoculars.

“Of course.. I think he’s okay, though; Shane knows how to take care of himself.. I probably wouldn’t be here if he couldn’t,” I chuckled.

Daryl’s eyes popped up from above the binoculars as he lowered them down onto his lap. Reaching forward, he brushed a long strand of dark hair out of my face that had made its windswept-home directly in front of my left eye.

“You woulda made it with or without yer brother. Ya don’t need him to protect ya, Harper,”.

My body shivered at the sound of my name on his voice, which made him smirk at me.

“Don’t lie to me, Daryl; how many times have you had to save me?” I asked him, throwing my hands up in the air.

Daryl’s eyes grew smaller as he began to squint in my direction, clearly thinking hard about what to say.

“Trust me when I say ya don’t need him, Walsh,” he repeated in his Southern drawl, his tongue darting out over his bottom lip.

“Stop doing that!” I giggled, feeling a rosy blush creep into my cheeks.

“Stop what?” Daryl asked me playfully.

When he ran his tongue over his lip again to tease me, I lunged forward and punched him in the arm.

“Come on, girl, yer gonna give me a fuckin’ dead arm!” Daryl growled, even though he was grinning.

When Daryl pushed off of his legs to get closer to me, I threw my hands out against his strong chest.

“Problem?” his voice asked me in a deep tone that I’ve only heard once or twice; I was surprised at how low his voice could get.

Standing up just enough so that I could feel his breath fan across my face but still have my legs bent, I kissed his lips hard, as if this was our last moment together. My breath got caught in my throat when Daryl yanked me out my chair to pull my body against his.

Making sure to pull against his bottom lip (which I quickly discovered that he loved), I pulled away from him just enough so that our noses were touching. His breath was hot as it mixed into mine, as if it didn’t want me to speak.

“You’re still on duty,” I whispered harshly against his lips before pushing him lightly back down into the chair he had been sitting in before.

“I can multitask, ya know...” Daryl grunted as he started to pull me down with him.

I almost let him until I spotted something moving toward the farm in the distance.

“Wait,” I said in a rush.

Daryl flew back into the chair, letting out a big annoyed breath.

“What now? You can’t keep tellin’ me ‘no’ forever, Barbie,” Daryl reminded me before reaching up to play with a strand of my hair.

“I’m aware of that, Daryl, trust me, but there’s something coming towards the farm!” I told him as I pointed toward where the noise was coming from.

“Well then get yer ass offa me and let me look!” Daryl huffed, pulling me off of his lap by pulling up on my hips.

I involuntarily let out an involuntary “Oof!” as he plopped me back onto the top of the RV, but stood behind him, head peaking over his shoulder to see what was coming.

“Girl, you got all worried for nothin’,” Daryl sighed, shaking his head as he pulled the binoculars away from his face.

“What? What is it?” I asked him a rush.

Was it a group of walkers? I knew this place was just too good to be true.

“It’s your brother, stupid,” Daryl snorted before slapping the side of my head lightly.

If it wasn’t for the situation at hand, I wouldn’t have let Daryl get away with calling me stupid, but it was Shane.

“Mwahh!” I shouted obnoxiously against his ear when I planted a sloppy kiss against his cheek.

“Obnoxious ain’t a good look on ya, Barbie,” Daryl grunted as he pushed me away playfully.

“I’ll make sure to take that into consideration,” I winked at him as I made my way down the side of the RV.

When my feet hit the hard ground, I made a beeline for where the car my brother was driving ended up parking.

“Please be okay,” I whispered to myself when I saw a foot step out from the car.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Shane?!” I called out haphazardly when I saw my brother fall to the ground.

“Harper...” Shane coughed, bracing himself against his knees.

Throwing my body to the ground next to him, I grabbed his face in my hands and began to examine him for any bad injuries.

“No bites, just needta rest, okay?” Shane explained, patting me on the shoulder lightly.

“Thank God,” I let out in a heavy breath.

At least if he was injured, he wouldn’t turn. I didn’t bother to turn around when I heard a bunch of footsteps running toward us, no doubt to check on Shane and Otis..

Otis.

Where was Otis?

“Did you get everything for Carl’s surgery?” Lori’s voice rose from the pack of survivors that were circling me and my brother.

Shane nodded, swallowing heavily.

“Trunk,” he muttered.

Glenn rushed over and popped the trunk; his gasp could be heard from a mile away.

“It’s all here; everything Hershel needs is here!” he said in surprise.

Was it just me, or did everybody doubt Shane but me?

“I’ll help you bring the supplies in,” a soft voice offered from the back of the group. The voice emerged as Maggie, who I had met earlier.

“Thank you,” I thanked her, and she looked at me in surprise. Maggie shot me a weak smile and nodded before heading over to help Glenn.

“Otis? Otis!” a voice started calling from the house.

An older woman, who I learned to know as Patricia, began making her way over to the truck.

“Shit,” I muttered to myself; wasn’t she Otis’ wife?

“Shane, where’s Otis?” I asked him in a breathy whisper.

“Huh?” he replied, clearly in his own little world.

“Shane. Where. Is. Otis?”.

When Shane finally looked up at me, I didn’t recognize the look in his eyes.

He looked dazed.

Lost.

“He’s dead,”.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Wait.. What?” I asked in shock.

It felt as if the breath had been knocked out on me; he can’t be dead. He can’t be.

“Otis? Where is he?” Patricia asked the group when she finally arrived. Glancing up at Patricia, I could see the worry in her eyes.

“Can someone please tell me where Otis is?” she asked tearfully, her voice choking on a sob.

Although I didn’t really know the family that well, I pushed up to face her and placed my hands against her shoulders.

“Let’s take a walk,” I told her, forcing her eyes to widen in shock.

“Why do we have to take a walk? Just tell me where my Otis is!” Patricia began pleading with me.

Suddenly, a hand was on my shoulder. I turned to see Rick standing next to me, a grave look on his face.

“I’ll talk to her. You go be with your brother,”.

“But Rick...” I began to say, but the look on his face told me that he wanted me to be with Shane.

Nodding, I turned back and headed over to Shane, who had stood up and was now leaning against the car.

“How did he..?” I struggled for words as I watched Rick deliver the blow to Patricia.

Even though we all knew that she had known the answer, my heart went out to her when her legs gave out from under her and she hit the floor in a heap. Rick flew down after her and let her cry in his arms; seems like everyone needs some consoling today. Forcing myself to look away, I turned back to Shane, who still hadn’t answered me.

“Sacrificed himself for me; said he owed it to Carl,” Shane whispered back, although he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Rick and Patricia.

Taking my fingers, I gently rubbed them against Shane’s cheek in an attempt to rub some dirt and grime off of his face.

“We need to get you cleaned up; I’m sure Hershel will let you use a shower if you ask,”.

Pushing my hand towards his, I tried leading him toward the farmhouse. Quickly, but in a teasing way, he swatted my hand away.

“Can take care of my own ass, Harper. Get your ass doing something important around here while I’m washing up,” Shane instructed as he hugged me tightly.

I nodded against his shoulder until we pulled apart. As Shane headed for the house, Lori jumped in front of him, quietly asking if he was okay. I watched them with curiosity while turning to face Rick every once and a while; did he really not suspect what was going in?

When Lori pulled Shane in for a hug, it was so quick that I almost missed it. But when I looked back at them, I knew what she had done.

“Little bitch,” I muttered under my breath while shaking my head.

“Lil’ what?” a voice called out from behind me.

When I turned to speak to the person asking questions, my breath caught in my throat.

“Merle,”.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Rough day?” Merle asked me as we walked down a path that led away from the house.

“You could say that,” I replied stiffly, unsure of where Merle was going to take this conversation.

Glancing down at his hands, I noticed his fingers twitching as he rubbed random fingers together. Just seeing him like that made me feel terrible.

“Heard ma brother accused ya of sleeping wit the officer,” Merle chuckled lightly shaking his head.

I shot him a glare as we continued to walk down a path that winded around the farm.

“He did, thanks to you,” I huffed angrily, throwing a few strands of hair over my shoulder.

“Anytime, girl,” Merle muttered as he kicked a small rock down the path.

I stopped abruptly and watched the rock tumble the path.

“Do you enjoy slowly tearing apart what I have with Daryl?” I asked him in a harsh tone, forgetting about whatever stupid ‘withdrawal’ that he was going through.

Merle clucked his tongue as he turned to face me with eyebrows raised.

“Girl, if I wanted ta ruin your relationship, it would be ruined by now,” he told me as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip.

“Stop trying to control your brother’s life, Merle. Daryl is his own person,” I spat, crossing my arms.

Merle mimicked my stance as his mouth opened slowly.

“Fer some reason, I feel like I’ve explained this to ya before, Harper; I don’t control him. I’m guiding him. If you knew what was good for ya, you’d sit back and let me do my job,”.

Even though Merle thought that he was protecting Daryl, he was hurting him.

“Merle.. Why did you hit me?” I asked him suddenly, my question taking him by surprise.

“I hit ya because you were actin’ like a dumbass bitch,” Merle quipped, running his thumb across his lip just like Daryl does.

“Sure, that probably didn’t help, but what was the real reason Merle? If you would’ve just told me, I would’ve understood,” I explained, my voice soft.

Merle began to laugh out of nowhere, which kind of creeped me out.

“You’ll never understand unless you’ve done it,” he muttered, looking up at the sky.

“So try and help me understand, Merle. Let me help you,” my voice pleaded with him.

Yeah, I had told him that I had casted him off; no, I wasn’t planning on changing my mind anytime soon.. But if Merle would let me help him get better, forgiving him would eventually cross my mind.

“Don’t need help from no bitch!” Merle sputtered, turning his back to me.

“Is ‘bitch’ your new favorite word?” I giggled, shaking my head.

Suddenly, Merle turned and was practically on top of me, his breath hot on my face.

“D’ya know what it’s like to want something so bad—need something so bad, that you’ll do anything ta get it? Ya think I just went into the city ‘cause I was bored? No, Harper; I went because I wanted—and needed my drugs. Now I’m out and I can’t.. I can’t—,” Merle said against my cheek, panting by the time he was done.

I looked into his eyes and was surprised at the exhaustion in his voice.

“You can’t control yourself,” I whispered, finishing his sentence for him.

“I can control myself, don’t be an idiot,” Merle snapped, his eyes narrowing down at me.

In my head, I was cursing myself for being so much shorter than everyone else.

“Then what? What can’t you do?” I asked him, my voice rising in volume.

All I wanted to do was get the real reason out of him, that’s all.

“I just can’t, Harper!” Merle bellowed, his anger shooting from annoyed to enraged in seconds.

“You can’t control yourself, so you took it out on me,” I responded in a calm tone; I didn’t want him to get any angrier than he already was.

“I never said tha’, I just can’t be—,”.

“—Yourself, because you can’t control yourself. You took it out on me,” I continued to interrupt and finish his sentences for him.

It was obvious that that was what was going on.

“Dammit, Harper I can control myself! It’s just that without drugs, I—,”.

“Can’t control yourself! Just admit that and I’ll help you!” I pressed on, throwing my hands to his shoulders.

“I took my withdrawal out on you, fine! I can’t control myself now that I don’t got my drugs so I took it out on your fucking face! Happy?” Merle spat, turning to walk away.

“I forgive you, Merle,” I called after him.

His fast pace eventually slowed down to a stop, his breathing heavy.

“You what?” he asked in such a quiet voice that I almost couldn’t hear him.

“I forgive you. For you know, taking it out on my face,” .

Slowly, Merle turned around to face me. When he went to speak, he let out a groan and shot his hands up to his temples.

“Merle!” I shouted over to him in a panic; was he okay?

“M’fine! Ma head jus’ hurts, back up, girly,” .

I did as Merle told me to and gave him the space he needed. Merle finally looked down at me a couple of minutes later, a slight hint of a smile on his face.

“So we’re okay? Friends? Knew ya couldn't stay away from me for long..” he asked me.

I couldn’t help but sigh at the eager tone of hopefulness that came out of him. It was clear that Daryl and I were the only two people that had ever looked out for him.

“No, Merle. I forgave you for punching me, that’s it. We’ll get there someday, but that day is not going to be today,” I told him, preparing myself to run if he lunged at me again in sudden anger.

Merle blew out a breath of hair, looking defeated.

“Unfortunately, Harper, we don’t have until ‘someday’ ta make up. Hell, for all we know, one of us is going to be dead tomorrow,”.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You cut your hair...” I said in surprise, my mouth dropping open at the sight of Shane’s buzzed head.

“Needed somethin’ new,” he muttered as he ran a hand over his head until he remembered that he didn’t have much hair to run his hand through.

“Shane, what really happened out there?” I asked quietly in case anyone was wandering around outside that night.

Shane and I were sitting up against his car after he requested some ‘sibling time’.

“What do you mean, ‘what happened out there’? We went out, got the supplies, got ambushed.. Otis sacrificed himself so I could get the supplies back and here I am,” Shane rambled, the words expertly flowing off of his tongue.

Luckily it was dark, so he wouldn’t noticed when my eyes squinted to look at him. Something just didn’t seem right with his story; it just didn’t add up.

Why would Otis sacrifice his life for a group he barely knew? Going out to help was enough—his debt had been repaid. Listening to Shane recite his story, it sounded as if his past da had been memorized; like he had practiced the story out-loud the whole ride home.

Scooting closer to Shane, I squeezed my legs around his knees as I had done with Rick earlier that day. Leaning forward into his body, I pressed my forehead up against his so I could look into his deep brown eyes.

“Shane.. You are my brother, and I love you. SO much. You know that I would do anything for you. We’re inseparable. If something... Else, happened out there, would you tell me?”.

My devotion to my brother turned Shane silent as he stared back into my eyes, searching them for flaws. Leaning even closer, I pecked his slightly crooked nose that was identical to mine with my lips, making him grin in the darkness. I made sure to take his hands into mine as well before I spoke again.

“Remember that you can tell me anything; I would never doubt you,”.

My body shivered as Shane’s hot breath brushed against my chilled face.

“Harper..” he said my name as if he was in pain.

“Go ahead, Shane. It’s okay,” I nodded, reassuring him.

We sat in silence for a few beats more when Shane finally opened his mouth and spoke the truth.

“I killed Otis,”.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes clamped shut in shock even though it wasn’t necessarily that surprising. After all, his original story hadn’t made much sense.

My brother is not a killer, I told myself.

My brother is not a murderer.

“Harper, say something,” Shane’s voice pleaded with me, but I was barely there, lost in my own thoughts.

Shane killed Otis.

“Okay.. Why?” my voice managed to choke out as I fought back tears.

My brother killed someone; a living, breathing person, probably against their free will.

“During the ambush, there were just too many walkers.. Otis was too slow; we both weren’t going to make it out alive! He had all of the supplies, I—I needed to do something, Harper. He had everything! Everything Carl needed, and the walkers were almost on top of him. So, I did what I had to do,” Shane’s voice shook as he told me the true story, which already made so much more sense than his fake one.

My brother killed a man.

“And what exactly did you do?” I gulped, even though I knew the answer.

I needed to hear it from him.

My brother.

“I told him to give me the supplies, that I would go ahead and start the truck. He obviously believed me, so he threw the bag of medical supplies towards me; they were right in my reach, I couldn’t think of anything but getting them back to Carl. I saw the walkers chasing us from behind Otis and I knew, I just knew—we were going to die if I couldn’t distract them somehow.. So I took my gun and shot him in the foot,” Shane stumbled over his words which slowly began to mix in to the rain drops that were falling steadily from the black sky.

Neither of us bothered to wipe the rain drops out of our face; we were too concentrated on each other and the story.

“So you didn’t even kill him with the first shot? You let the walkers eat him alive?” I asked in shock.

By this time I wasn’t sure if I was crying or if it was the raindrops that were not steadily pelting against my cheeks.

“I didn’t have time to take good aim, Harper! His screams distracted them anyway... So I shot him and left,” Shane mumbled, lacing my fingers through his.

I almost pulled away from his grasp, but that would only worry him; I needed to be on his side right now.

“What do you expect me to tell everyone, Shane? If they knew that you killed Otis, they would kick you off the farm!” I asked him in short gasps.

My brother had shot a man and left him for dead.

“You keep telling everyone what I’ve been telling ‘em, Harper. The man sacrificed his life for my boy, he knew that it was what he had to do,” Shane explained to me quickly, his tongue darting out to taste the water on his lips.

I couldn’t help but stare down at his hands that were laced through mine. Those hands belong to a killer.

No, he wasn’t a killer. Shane isn’t a killer.

“Self-defense,” I said to myself, out-loud by accident.

“Exactly! You understand then?” he asked me as hope filled his voice.

My body went into autopilot as my head automatically began to nod at his question. I heard Shane let out a deep sigh of relief afterwards.

“Thank God. I need you by my side for this, Harper. We need to stick together, no matter what.. I know it’s a lot to take in, so I’ll let you get some sleep, dry off,”.

He kissed me on the cheek and embraced my body in a tight hug, but his body language was different.

“Hey,” I called out to him as he began to walk away.

He looked at me questioningly through the rain.

“I love you,”.

“And I love you, Harper,” Shane told me before heading off towards the farmhouse, where Carl was currently being operated on.

When I couldn’t see him anymore, I made my way toward Daryl’s tent and pushed my body in numbly. Nobody was there, so I stripped the soaked clothes off of my body and replaced them with a pair of sleeping shorts and a sweatshirt. As if on cue, Daryl poked his head in.

“Ya ain’t naked are ya? Daryl asked me, and despite the situation, I giggled.

“All clear,” I called out over my shoulder.

In seconds, I felt his body pressed against mine as his hand reached over my shoulder to hold on to my chin lightly. Glancing over my shoulder had me meeting my lips with his in the gentlest manner. Spinning me around, Daryl pulled my body flush against his before kissing me again, harder this time. When I didn’t respond with just as much passion, he pulled back and stared at me.

“Everything okay?” he asked me, as if he could see right through my façade.

“Now it is,” I sighed, my breathing shaky and uneven as I let my head droop against his chest.

“C’mon,” he whispered huskily a head above mine, leading me toward the small deflated air mattress that we had decided to share.

Knowing that the two brothers usually shared a tent, I told Daryl that Merle could stay, but Daryl insisted on giving Merle my old tent. Merle’s tent was still directly next to ours, which was nice, in case of a zombie attack.

Daryl pulled the numerous blankets up to our shoulders as he ran a hand through my tangled hair, which he brushed out with his fingers.

“When you wanna talk, m’here,” I heard him whisper against my back.

I said goodnight as I nodded, wanting to keep quiet so I could process Shane’s story.

The entire story had bothered me, but that wasn’t all.

Shane had referenced to Carl as his boy.

Maybe it was a mistake.

I shuddered at not only the warm, sleeping breaths that Daryl was blowing against the back of my neck, but also at the thought that maybe, just maybe, my brother Shane wasn’t the brother who I thought he was.