All That We Could Be

Chapter Thirty Four

Fallon had been walking for a while on the hiking trial. She had gone to the park on this sunny day, the stream beside her bubbling all the while looking peaceful and serene.

The birds were chirping happily. The sky was blue. Fallon kept walking until she got to the spot she had been in search for. She put down her bag and put her blanket on the grassy area, right next to the stream.

Taking off her socks and shoes she dipped her feet into the stream. The cool refreshing water was invigorating. Fallon closed her eyes. The world was peaceful in this spot.

The rustling of the trees relaxed Fallon. She sat there with not a care in the world.

“Hello Fallon.” Came a tentative voice. Fallon knew that voice. She had been thinking of it for a long while. Fallon kept her eyes closed. She hadn’t heard any footsteps, how had he gotten here without her knowing.

“I didn’t expect you to be here.” She told him. Actually this was exactly the sort of place she would have expected him to go to. Fallon waited for him to say something. “I come here when I need to relax. In fact your in my spot.” His voice sounded closer. At this Fallon couldn’t help but smile a little. They were similar in more ways than one, she thought. She opened her eyes and turned to see him standing slightly behind her.

“You know, we both can share.” She told him at once. He came to stand beside her. “Okay, we’ll share…but it is still more mine.” He told her as he sat down next to her. He took of his shoes and put his feet into the water too. Fallon watched how the sun reflected off his cool blue eyes. His brown hair shone in the sunlight, making him that much more unreal.

Fallon felt like telling him how much she had missed him, it had been so long but still she couldn’t part with his memory. She stopped herself…there was no need to make a fool out of herself…or to scare him away.

“You know, I wanted to bring you here. It’s funny that you would find this place by yourself.” He spoke; there was a sad smile on his face. “It’s nice and quiet and it takes you away from the world. Just like when we went to the park to go star gazing.” She told him.

“Yea, exactly like that.” He said as his arm moved to bring her closer. She leaned into his shoulder. Why couldn’t they be like this forever? She thought.

“I still miss you…” He said in a whisper. She looked up at him. He was staring across the stream he had that sad smile on his face again.

“I bet Miguel doesn’t…” Fallon muttered. It got the reaction she was looking for. His face broke into a smile. A true smile. “Yea…well what does he know?” He told her. “Apparently a lot, since you listened to him.” She said ruefully. The sadness on his face came back.

“If I asked you to take me back…would you?” He asked. The urgency in his voice was not lost on Fallon. “Hypothetically?” Fallon asked. “Sure…” He replied sullenly. Fallon didn’t have to think about it…but she pretended to. After a while she answered. “May be I would…hypothetically of course.” She answered. Her heart pounded just at the thought of having him back.

He turned to face her. “Okay, Fallon. Will you take me back?” He asked her. “I’m sorry I left you that way. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you back in my life. So will you give us another shot?” His rush of words stunned Fallon. How long had she been hoping for him to come back…and now here they were and he was asking her for another chance. How could she refuse…after being without him for so long.

“Yes.” Was the only word she could say. From the look on his face, he had not been expecting her to say it…or anything at all. “Really?” He asked, bewildered. “Yea…I kinda missed you too…a lot…” She told him looking away from his intense blue eyes. She didn’t want to be losing her thoughts again.

“Thank you…” Came his voice in a low whisper. She looked back at him. He leaned in to her. Their lips touched. When she broke the kiss, she looked at him. There was no one else she could ever want to be with, unless it was him.

She leaned in this time. She could feel his lips on hers.

“Beep! Beep! Beep!” Came a sound out of no where. Fallon got up from her bed, startled. She shook her head, to clear it. That dream had been too vivid. She could still remember the feel of his kiss…She touched her lips…she could still feel it lingering on her lips.

Fallon saw that the sound was coming from her alarm clock. Turning it off, Fallon fell back onto her pillows. Next time, no television before sleeping…- Fallon thought. It had been three days since the race. She had sulked about the house the day after…defeat had never been easy for Fallon to take.

Even in high school…she could never take it when her friends got higher marks than her…she’d sulk for a while and then work harder to do better.

Today Fallon didn’t have very much planned. She was going to check in on the designer, Ana. She needed to make sure the clothes for the music video were right, although she had full faith in Ana.

Next week they would be shooting the video. Fallon just needed to find someone to be the love interest in the video. She didn’t have anyone in mind.

Fallon lay for awhile staring at the ceiling. She closed her eyes trying to will herself to sleep, hoping to fall back into her dreams again. It wasn’t working. She got up after a while. Giving up, Fallon got out of bed and got dressed.

She had decided to wear a light lilac colored short sleeve v-neck shirt, with a darker lilac knee length frock over top, and black knee length capris. It was nice and sunny outside. She took out a pair of black flip-flops. Walking out of her room, she found that she was the only one awake.

Cheryl was probably still asleep. It was around 9:30 in the morning. Fallon made her breakfast and ate alone. After eating she grabbed her phone, wallet, sun glasses, and a straw sun hat. Fallon was going to head out and check up on Ana. Fallon got her keys and left a note for Cheryl.

She had just gotten into the car when her cell phone rang. “Hello?” Fallon answered. She had picked up without checking the caller ID. “Hey Fallon! How’s second place suiting you? I didn’t think you’d be awake yet…” It was Christopher. “Ha…ha…Chris. What’s up?” Fallon replied, she ignored the jibe. “I was just wondering if you wanted to meet up for dinner or something.” He asked uncertainly. “Sure, what’s the occasion?” She asked with a laugh. “Nothing, just thought maybe we could hang out…and talk.” Christopher sounded a little defensive, and slightly serious. “Okay, sure. Where do you want to meet, and when?” She asked. “Just come over when you’re free. We’ll hang out at the house.” “Sure, see you then.” Fallon said as she ended the call.

Fallon decided to go buy some food to take to Christopher’s house, but she would do that after meeting Ana.

As she drove towards the store, Fallon’s thoughts about what Christopher wanted to talk about dissipated. Her mind settled back on to her dream. It had been too real for her. She could still smell the relaxing scent of the stream. His voice was still in her mind, crystal clear.

Seriously…no more watching MU-TV before bed…- Fallon thought, as she drove through the streets. Last night she had watched a little bit of soccer and some of the interviews…one of them had been of Daniel. That’s probably why I dreamed of him…-Fallon tried to rationalize.

She carefully parked her Charger in front of Ana’s store. She walked in to find beautiful dresses placed around the room. As Fallon fingered one of the delicate lace dresses, Ana came in.

“Hello Fallon, are you here to see what I have for you so far?” Ana asked politely. “Yea.” Fallon answered, as she slowly took her eyes away from the dress. Fallon followed Ana into the back room to see the dresses and do fittings for the completed ones.

It was lunch time when Fallon finally left Ana’s store. Most of the dresses had come out just like she had wanted, but a few still needed a little adjustment. Fallon decided to grab some food. She had gotten a little hungry during the fittings.

Next on her list of things to do, was to check up Craig. She just wanted to drop by and see how the preparations for the tour were going. Plus, she needed to discuss with him the dilemma concerning the video. She still couldn’t think of a guy who could play the love interest. She was going to ask Christopher, if she didn’t get any ideas soon.

She stopped on her way to the studio at a café. Getting herself a salad and a chicken wrap, Fallon drove on to the studio.

“Hi, is Craig around?” Fallon asked the receptionist. “Yes, he’s in his office. You can go in if you like.” She told Fallon. “Thanks.”

Fallon knocked on the door before opening it. “Hello Craig.” She said, poking her head around the door before coming in. “Hey, kiddo. What’s wrong?” Craig said, concerned. “Why do you always think something is wrong when I come to see you.” She asked a little hurt. “Well if nothing was wrong, why would you be here?” Craig retorted. “Just to say hi?” Fallon said, realizing how right he was.

“Uh huh…I’ll believe it when I see it. Anyway, tell me what’s wrong.” Craig told her with a little laugh. He gestured to the seat in front of his desk. “Well I just wanted to tell you that the clothes are almost ready for the video, but…” Fallon said slowly. “See I told you, there is some thing wrong.” Craig pointed out. Fallon scowled. “It’s just for the video, I can’t seem to find anyone to play the guy…that I’m supposed to like.” Fallon told him.

“Hasn’t Troy come up with anyone that you think is suited for you?” Craig asked. “Nope. All the guys Troy came up with were not my type.” Fallon told him. “Alright, then what is your type?” Craig asked, slightly annoyed. “Funny, smart, and kind guys. They look decent. I don’t know. What do you think my type is?” Fallon asked in embarrassment.

“Look why don’t I make this a little less uncomfortable for you. Go ask the guys who raced with you, I’m sure one of them will be able to play the part. If not, come back to me and I’ll figure something out.” Craig told her, he could clearly see her squirming in her seat.

Once that was sorted out, they talked about the tour. Fallon had felt overwhelmed with all the preparations. Craig had finally taken some of the work from her.

“One more thing Fallon, before you go I just wanted to tell you, the b-sides you picked…we have to divide them over two CDs. So when you get home, go through the folder with the promo pictures and pick out another one for the second CD, and the sleeve.” Craig told her, as she got up to leave. “Sure.” She told him. She bade him goodbye and left.

It was still too early to go to Christopher’s house. Fallon was in the mood for a little fun. She hadn’t been shopping in a while. She needed to get an extra hard drive for her computer, she also just wanted to go and see what was in stores.
Fallon was enjoying the sunshine and nice weather. After stopping by the electronics store for the hard drive, Fallon parked at a small strip mall. Putting on her straw hat, she strolled leisurely, she didn’t have a care in the world. Today she had the time to spend on just enjoying herself. She bought a new dress, and found some cute little dresses and shirts for her sister. Fallon took her time, finding the right clothes for her siblings.

A couple hours later she was on her way to Christopher’s house, Fallon stopped at the grocery store. She bought a chocolate cake, and some junk food. She still didn’t know what to expect.

Her mind was not convinced to mull over this. Instead it had gone back to thinking about her morning. The dream was still fresh in her mind. Humming to herself, Fallon arrived in good spirits at Christopher’s house. It was almost dinner time since it was almost six o’clock. She was early…for once.

Fallon walked up the steps with the bags of food. Ringing the door bell she waited.

Both Dallas and Adrian had headed home yesterday. With everything sorted out regarding their father’s estate, they needed to return to their families. Before leaving, the two of them had promised to visit Christopher every now and then.

Christopher opened the door. He was smiling warmly as he saw her. “Hello!” Fallon greeted him, cheerily. She smiled from under her straw hat. “Hi, you can come inside.” Christopher told her. As she did, he gave her a hug.

This time, Fallon noticed the awkward lingering. She still didn’t think much of it.

“You didn’t have to bring anything.” He told her as he let go. “I know, I just wanted to bring a treat…for putting up with me…” She told him. She took the food to the kitchen. “So what’s for dinner?” Fallon asked, she was famished. “I made pizza, and there’s pop in the fridge.” Christopher replied, as he got the soft drinks out. “Thanks, but I’ll stick to water.” Fallon told him.

They sat down to eat at the table. Christopher had been relentless with his constant ribbing about the race. Fallon decided to let it go, there was no point in starting an argument over it. As the conversation settled down, Christopher told her that his brothers had called around noon, to tell him they had arrived safely.

Soon Fallon remembered what she had wanted to ask Christopher. “Chris, do you mind helping me out for my music video? It’s for ‘Crush’ and I needed to find a male lead…and I haven’t found one…so I was kind of hoping you’d be available to help...it’s being shot next weekend.” She told him hesitantly.

Christopher looked like he was mulling it over. Fallon bit her lips, if he said no, then she would have to ask the other guys…she could already picture Alex laughing at her expense.

“Yea, I’ll help…but what do I have to do?” He asked, he seemed to be alright with the idea. “Well you don’t have to do a lot…you’ll find out on the day of the shoot. Don’t worry you’re not going to have to learn any crazy dance routines…” She told him with a grateful smile. This lessened her problems. “Just make sure you come next Saturday at nine, we’ll be working within the studio for Saturday, and maybe outside the next day.” She told him. “I promise I’ll come on time on Saturday.” He said, giving her his word.

Most of the parts that she would need him for would be shot during the weekend…luckily this wouldn’t interrupt his work schedule. For Fallon though, she would be shooting some parts starting next Thursday.

As the conversation progressed, Christopher filled Fallon in about the changes for the charity race they would hold next year. Because of the success of this one, it had been decided that it would be held annually. Although next year, they would have to shorten the races, meaning the heats would have to be done before. Fallon agreed.

The two of them finished their dinner, and started on the cake. Once they were done, they put away the dishes. Instead of watching a movie or some television, Christopher asked Fallon to join him on the front porch.

It had been a while since Fallon had just talked. Usually it was all business, commitments, or school work. Fallon sat on the bottom step, after carefully pulling her dress underneath her. Christopher was seated on the top step.

“So how have you been, Chris?” Fallon asked. “It’s been a while since we really talked.” She observed. “Yea, I’ve been alright. It gets a little lonely in the house…I haven’t gotten used to being alone…at first it was fine since Adrian and Dallas were around.” He told her, with the air of sadness. “How are you though? I mean, usually when we talk…it’s all about work.” He asked. “Okay, my life is full of work…” She laughed lightly. “How are things with Cheryl?” He asked. “Things are good. I haven’t really had a chance to think about it all…as soon as I came home…well you know what happened…but everything is normal…as normal as it can be…” She trailed off.

Fallon looked up at the darkening sky. The two of them had been quiet for a few moments.

“I actually asked you to come for a reason, Fallon.” Christopher said, quietly. “Yea? What’s on your mind?” She asked, a little curious. “I know that after William, you were slightly put out about dating other guys.” He started. Fallon didn’t see where this was going. “We’ve known each other for a few months, but there’s something about you that’s caught my attention.”

Sudden realization hit Fallon, she tried to mask her horror as she realized where this conversation was heading.

“Fallon, I think I’ve been falling for you…and I just want to know whether or not you feel the same.” Christopher said, hesitantly.

If she had followed her instinct, Fallon would have run. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her mind had frozen as Christopher had spoken. Slowly she processed what he had said. She wanted to get out of this as quickly as possible…but that would probably ruin any chance of them remaining friends. So Fallon thought some more before she spoke.

Shaking her head, she asked the most important question she could think of. “How long have you been feeling this way?” She asked him, not being able to look him in the eye. “A while…” Christopher said quietly. “Since when?” She asked, with a little insistence. “Around the time you went on your trip to Canada…I don’t know what happened…but all of a sudden I just missed you…and you were just constantly on my mind…and then that first night you came back. When I was in the hospital trying to get the nurses to listen to me…you just came out of no where and as soon as I saw you…I just calmed down…after that I don’t know but I couldn’t help but fall for you even more.” He told her. “It was like things were alright with you around.”

They were quiet. Fallon mulled over what he had said. This whole time she had been trying not to lead anyone on…and this is what happened. What am I gonna do?...- Fallon thought, helplessly.
“Fallon, I just want to know if maybe you feel the same way…do you?” Christopher asked. His voice sounded uncertain.

Fallon thought a moment longer. There was absolutely no way she could spare his feelings…even if she tried to, he would end up hurt one way or another.

Fallon couldn’t put it off any longer. The tension had started to become thick between them…the air was heavy with it.

“Chris…” Fallon started. She looked at him. This was the only way to tell him. His eyes met hers. She couldn’t stand to look any longer…knowing that she would hurt him.

“I want to say yes…that I feel the same way…but I don’t. I love you as my friend…your one my closest friends. Even if I wanted to go out with you…I wouldn’t be able to.” She told him, pausing for his reaction.

His face was hard to read. “Why not?” He asked, a little aggressively. “Because it wouldn’t be fair to you, if I agreed to go out with you while I still have feelings for someone else. I would be wrong to do that to you, especially when you’ve helped me out so much.” She told him, saddened by the fact she was hurting him.

“You still have feelings for William?” He asked her, sounding annoyed. “No…” She told him. “Then who is it?” He asked, this time his voice was quiet.

Fallon couldn’t say his name…she wouldn’t say his name…to admit it would be like admitting defeat. “I met him at the beginning of the year…you wouldn’t know him.” She told him evasively.

Christopher was quiet. After a while, the silence was too hard for Fallon to bear. “Chris, I’m really sorry.” Fallon pleaded with him. She stood up from the steps. “I wish that I could feel different…but I can’t. I’m sorry I hurt you this way…but I hope that one day you’ll find the right girl…I’m sorry it’s not me.” She told him. He still didn’t speak. “Chris, no matter what I’ll still always love you as my friend.” She tried again. Fallon tried not to let her voice crack.

As she reached out for him, he turned to look at her. His face was cold. He moved away from Fallon’s reach. “I think maybe it’s time you should go.” He told her coldly. Fallon stood frozen with shock.
Never had Fallon seen this side of Christopher. He turned away from her, starting to head inside. “I’m sorry…” She called out after him. In return all Fallon got was the sound of the door shutting between them.

Fallon stood for a moment longer. She couldn’t believe what had just transpired between them.

Fallon walked to her Charger slowly. As much as she itched to drive away her sorrow…the track was to close to Christopher…she would have to find another way to release her anguish.

She started her car and drove in the direction of her house. As she drove, her eyes constantly welled up with tears. As some of them spilled over, she silently wiped them away.

Deciding it was dangerous to be driving like this, Fallon stopped at a nearby park. As she walked to sit on a bench…she realized it was the same park she had been in when Daniel had broken up with her. The same park that they both had gone star gazing in. Fallon leaned against the bench…as her tears fell down her cheeks, she stared up at the stars, wiping the tears away every now and again.

As she started to calm down, she hoped that things would work out between her and Christopher. Her life would never be the same without Christopher in it…