Back to You

He ran a hand through his hair and slipped his glasses back on his face. Shoulders slumped; he walked back to his car. He heard his phone start playing Danielle’s custom ringtone. Liam took a deep breath and answered the call.

“Hey, babe.” His voice was a little tight. He hoped she wouldn’t notice.

“Hi, Li! I just got off the phone with El. She and Louis want to have dinner later. How does that sound?” She hadn’t noticed, which relieved Liam.

“Sure. That sounds nice.” He agreed climbing into he car.

“Where are you?” She asked. They shared a flat so of course she knew when he wasn’t home. They had been together for two years. His relationship with Danielle was as old as his son.

I really am a bastard, he thought to himself. “I just had some errands to run. I’m on my way home now.” She said goodbye to him and hung up. Liam really hated himself right now. How could he just go on with his life? Why didn’t he fight harder?

When Blair pushed him away, Liam was beside himself. He met Danielle while he was on the X-Factor and started a relationship with her to cope. The more Blair told him to get lost, the closer he came to Dani. And after a while, they just stuck.

And to make matters worse, Dani didn’t know that he had a son. Dani had no idea the Liam was a father. She didn’t know because he never told her.

Liam stayed in contact with Blair’s parents, that’s how he stayed updated on his little boys life. They weren’t crazy about him, but they fed him information because he made an effort. He called every Sunday for the past two years.

In their most recent talk; he learned that Blair was moving to London with her best friend, Ben. Ben was taking over a dance studio and asked Blair to help him out. Her parents thought it would be good for Blair to start living life on her own.

Liam begged and begged them to give him her contact information. She was in London now, and he knew this was a perfect opportunity to reconcile with her. He called her and asked her to meet him. He was surprised when she accepted.

He wanted to see her. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted her to forgive him. So much for that, he thought glumly. On top of deciding to contact Blair, he decided he was going to tell Dani today as well. Only now after his encounter with Blair he was contemplating backing out.

He was debating it the entire drive home. When he pulled into the car park of his complex her rested his head against the wheel, trying to make a decision. He knew the right thing to do, he was just scared out of his mind.

He reluctantly got out of the car and slowly made his way to the door. “Just do it. Just say it.” He repeated over and over again. He knew he had to do this if he wanted to convince Blair to let him see his son.

He opened the door slowly. “Dani?” He called out nervously. She appeared at the top of the stairs with a smile on her face. Liam smiled as well. She was still in her pajamas and her hair was a mess. They seemed totally normal. “Hey can you come down here for a moment?”

He was trembling so hard her felt that he would lose his balance. Dani noticed his discomfort and became worried as she made her way to him.

“Liam? What’s the matter?” She asked, her voice full of concern. Liam shook his head and lead her to the couch. They sat down together and Dani rubbed his back, waiting for him to tell her what was going on.

“I have to tell you something.” He finally choked out. “Just know that this is really hard for me, and it has been eating me alive for a really long time.” Liam told his girlfriend, his hands wrapping around hers.

“Okay…?” She too was trembling now, her mind swimming with all the possibilities of what he could tell her.

“Oh god.” He whimpers, burying his face in his hands trying to hide the sob that slipped out. Dani touched his back again, this time Liam flinched away from the touch.

“Liam. What is it?” She demanded, growing impatient and anxious.

“I have a son. He’s two. My ex just moved to London with him and that’s where I went this morning. I went to see her. She broke up with me after she found out she was pregnant and wouldn’t allow me to contact her. I’ve never met him, I just-“ He trailed off, wiping his tears away with his hands.

Dani was silent. That was the last thing she had expected to hear. Of all the things for Liam to do, he hid a child from her for two years. “She finally agreed to see me. And I...I’m going to try to be a part of his life now. I have to. I am his father after all.” He hiccupped.

Dani had moved to the other side of the couch, no longer anywhere near Liam. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She had a look of hurt, disgust, hate and betrayal. “How could you not tell me? I mean-“ She held up arms to mimic holding a baby. “That is a person. A life you created. And you lied to everyone!” She shouted.

This is what Liam was worried would happen. He knew she wouldn’t sympathize. She would only see the lie, not the reasons behind it. Liam didn’t say anything. He never knew what to say when it came to Jordie.

“I can’t even-“ She put her hands on her head. “I can’t even fathom how you could be so-“ She wanted to say so many things, and it all came out jumbled. “You are such a bastard.” She finally decided.

“So I’m told.” Liam muttered to the ground. He couldn’t look at his seething girlfriend.

“Two years, Liam. Two fucking years. How could you not tell me? How could you not tell me something that huge? I thought we told each other everything! But you lied. You have been lying since the day we met!” Liam kept his eyes trained on the ground.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” She screeched, jumping off the couch.

“What the hell do you want me to say, Dani? I had my reasons, I lied, and now I’m telling the truth. I can’t change anything. And don’t you dare tell me what a wanker I am, because believe me. I know! I have had to live with it everyday. I know!” Liam shouted, now looking at Dani.

“I can’t even look at you right now. Consider this relationship over. I want you out of here by tonight.” She told him, stomping over to the door and leaving, slamming it behind her. Liam was now alone.

He just stared at the closed door for what felt like hours. In his mind, Dani came running back, telling him she understood and that she forgave him. But she didn’t, and he knew she never would.

He packed his belongings in a few bags. The only things he really needed to take were his clothes and toiletries. He didn’t want to argue with Dani about who kept what.

He was packed and driving within an hour. His mind was reeling. So much shit had just happened to him in such a short period of time. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to break things, but mostly he just wanted someone to tell him that he wasn’t scum.

He found himself in front of Zayn’s complex. He was his best mate out of all the boys. Zayn always was a good person to talk to when he was confused. This of course meant telling another person about his son, but he thought that maybe Zayn would understand. He really hoped he would.

Knocking on Zayn’s door frantically he silently prayed that he was home. The door opened revealing a very confused Zayn. He looked even more confused as he found Liam, mid nervous breakdown.

“Liam? Are you alright?” His dark skinned friend asked him, looking really worried.

“I fucked up, Zayn. Big time.” Liam told him, on the verge of tears again. Zayn stepped aside, making room for Liam to enter the flat. Once inside, Liam collapsed on his couch.

“What the hell is going on, Liam? You’re freaking me out.” Zayn asked, sitting next to the friend his sobbing friend.

“I have a son! I have a child, and a bitch of an ex that won’t let me see him. Hell, she barely speaks to me. I went and saw her today, and she basically told me that if I tried to fight for rights to him that she would drag my name through the mud. And for the cherry on top of this shit load that was my day, I told Dani and she kicked me out.”

Zayn’s eyes were the size of saucers. He couldn’t really process what he had just heard from his band mate. Liam noted Zayn surprise. “Great! Are you going to tell me I’m a bastard too? Because that would not be helpful at all!” Liam shouted, standing up and pacing Zayn’s living room.

“You have a son? Like-a human being with half of your genetic information?” Zayn said, incredulous. He was not ready to believe that this was true.

“Yes, I believe that’s how it works.” Liam snapped at Zayn.

“Wow. I did not see that coming. From Harry, maybe, but you? Talk about a curve ball.” Zayn rubbed his stubble thoughtfully. “How old is he?” He suddenly thought about the timeline, in all the time that he had known Liam, he and Dani were a thing.

“He’s two.” Zayn thought back. That meant that whoever had his baby was having the child while Liam was on the X-Factor and dating Danielle.

“Whoa, mate. That’s…that’s a lot of baggage.” Liam nodded in agreement to his friends comment. “Uh-what’s his name?” At the question, Liam pulled his wallet from his back pocket. He pulled a picture out and held it out to Zayn.

“His name is Jordan Obray. But Blair-that’s his mom-and her parents call him Jordie.” Zayn took the photo from Liam’s hand and studied it.

“Good lookin’ kid.” He commented.

“Yeah. He’s beautiful.” Liam agreed, tucking the photo back into his wallet.

“So, why’s all this happening now?” Zayn was curious about why Liam was suddenly coming clean.

“Blair moved to London this week. Now that we’re in the same place, I thought it would be easier to work though our issues. I thought that maybe she would hate me less, but I think she hates me more, if that’s even possible.”

“Why’d you guys break up?”

Liam shrugged. “One day she told me she was pregnant. Then she broke up with me in the same sentence. I had just tried out for the X-factor so she told me to leave and do that. So I did. I was 16 and confused. She wasn’t talking to me. I seemed like the best thing to do. So I went on the show and here I am, and I have been regretting it everyday since.”