Every Word Sounds Absurd

Laying awake in my bed for the three hours after being dropped off by Niall, I still couldn't seem to fall asleep. I tossed and turned, switching the location of my pillows constantly and adjusting the fan every five or so minutes. Suddenly, my phone vibrated on my nightstand, lighting up with a text from a number I didn't know.

You still awake? I bit my lip as I read over it several times, trying to figure out who had gotten my phone number. I quickly typed a reply, That depends- who is this?

Really, love? Well, I'm ruggedly handsome with a killer smile, I have a big mop a curly hair and an undying love for an American girl who can't seem to make her mind up about me. I rolled my eyes, immediately aware of who I was speaking with.

How did you get my number, Harry? And why are you still awake? I could just imagine the smirk on his face as he replied to me. I could ask you the same thing, love. Now please, come & open your door. I eyed the door suspiciously, slipping on my glasses and pulling down on my sweater as I wrapped my hand around the knob, unlocking it and pulling it open slightly. I was met with a rather smug-looking Harry who pushed past me and sat himself on my bed as I closed the door. I stared blankly at him for a moment, a chuckle passing his bright pink lips. "Aren't you going to join me, love?" I bit my lip and sat opposite him, crossing my legs and placing a pillow over them to hide them, ashamed of how much skin I was showing.

When I looked up at him again, I noticed that he was very obviously staring at my breasts, a blush creeping onto my cheeks as I crossed my arms over them and looked down at my blue and white star pillow. "Are you wearing a bra?" His bluntness caused me to cough as the breath became hitched in my throat, my blush deepening in color. "N-no..." I choked out, afraid to look at him again. When I did, my eyes widened slightly as I noticed that he had crawled toward me and now had a gentle grasp on my wrists, tugging them away from my chest. "Don't be embarrassed," he scolded quietly, his gaze not adverting from my chest, "you're built beautifully. Any bird would kill to have your body." I shook my head slightly, still not meeting his gaze.

Harry soon had my chin cupped gently in his large hand, bringing it up until our eyes met, a sad look taking over his features. "Why don't you think you're beautiful? How do you not see it?" I gave him a weak shrug, a pathetic look on my face as he moved his hand up some to caress my cheek, tracing invisible patterns onto it with his thumb. "I wish you could see it." he whispered, his voice barely audible. "I wish I knew how to show you."

When I looked at him again, he had already closed the gap between us, our lips meeting in a gentle kiss. Harry's kiss was much different than the ones I'd shared with Niall, Harry being much less caustious, and a surge of energy seeming to flow between us, a feeling that I had never felt before. I was soon kissing him back, slightly afraid that I wouldn't be nearly as good as him or any other girl he had kissed, his hand becoming tangled in my hair as he brought my face closer to his. I feel the sparks flying around us as I gained a gentle grip on his shoulder, his other arm wrapping itself around my waist.

My heart raced in my chest as Harry swept his tongue across my lower lip, it trembling slightly as I opened my mouth for him. He slid his tongue in slowly, the warm appendage meeting and caressing mine as my left hand wrapped firmly around his neck. He abrutply pulled away from, removing his dark long-sleeved shirt from his body and discarding it onto the floor as my mouth fell slightly ajar, taking in the beauty of him. His toned upper-body was decorated in many tattoos, the beautiful art only excentuating his gorgeous torso. His hand lifted to gently tug my hair down from it's messy bun, letting it cascade down aorund my shouders as he slipped my glasses off of my face. He brushed away a few hair from my face, our gaze still not meeting as I was too distracted by his body. "You're beautiful, Harry..." I whispered, my hands now gently grazing over the swallows that sat perched on his slightly protruding collarbones. A soft chuckle shook his chest as he dipped his head down and met his lips with mine once more. Harry scooted back some, holding onto me as he gently laid me back against my matress.

His hand gripped my hip, gently tracing patterns onto the skin exposed by my sweater and tank top riding up some. My fingers wove their way into his curly locks, Harry's knee gently nudging my knees apart for him to place himself between them. He pulled away some again, his bright emerald orbs searching my face for some negative emotion. Harry dug his hand into the hem of my sweater, pulling it up some in a notion to remove it before I panicked and pushed it right back down. "Love, please.. I just want the jumper off, not the undershirt... Please, I just.. need to feel you some..." My heart pounded a painful tattoo against my ribcage as I gave him a slight nod, sitting up as he pulled it all the way off and dropped it onto the floor. As I looked down at my tank top, I silently cursed myself for choosing something so revealing.

Harry's lips soon became attached to the base of my neck, sucking on it gently as he once again held onto my hip. A soft moan passed my lips as he gently dug his teeth into the sensitive flesh, my eyes fluttering close at the feeling of his smirk against my skin. I pulled his face up and kissed him again, our lips meshing together as one, the kiss growing more and more urgent as the moments passed.

And suddenly, he pulled away again, a terrified look growing on his face as he looked down at me. The fright soon turned into a look of sadness and remorse as he quickly stodd up and pulled his shirt back on and made a mad dash for the door, leaving without having said another word to me.

I began to feel sad, my eyes watering in realization that Harry had just ran out on me. I had let my walls down some for him and was ready to completely let him in, and he left. I slipped my sweater back on as the tears fell, curling into a ball under my heavy sheets and cried myself to sleep.

I knew I wasn't good enough for anyone to want me.



The majority of my Sunday went without interupption. I laid in bed for several hours, not recieving one text, call or knock on my door. I hadn't moved at all from the position I'd fallen asleep in, not even to go to the bathroom- I just held it in. My eyes were bright red and puffy, my lower lip swollen from all the crying I'd done.

At about six o'clock, there was a quiet knock on my door, but I wasn't about to get up to answer it. The person knocked again, and I still did not get up. Instead, I squeezed my eyes shut and decided to block them out, even when my phone sounded off with several texts and calls, the person letting out a long sigh and leaving after about twenty minutes.

I just went back to sleep afterward.



Monday morning came quickly, and I didn't get up until half past noon, aiming to miss both law and lunch so I woildn't have to face Harry. I padded quickly to the empty showers and bathed under scalding water, slipping into my uniform and putting my hair into a simple ponytail as I grabbed my bag, books and went to my classes, staring blankly at the boards and teachers and not sitting with any of my new-found friends.

Once the school day ended, I walked across the main quad, a deadpan look still gracing my features as I ignored Niall and Liam's calls from across the grass. As one of them jogged up to me (I'm not sure who it was, as I didn't care enough to see who), I was already at my door and slamming it in their face, locking it as I contiued my routine from the day before, not realizing that a few weeks were passing me by and all I did was attend class and sleep, barely eating at all and not speaking with anyone.

What's the point? If Harry left after such a brief moment of being with me, why wouldn't everyone else?