Nobody, Not Even the Rain Has Such Small Hands

We're sitting on the couch watching some movie Mike picked out. Jaime hates Harry Potter, so we settled for some action film that I'm not really paying attention to. Maddy and Vic were asleep on the second couch when we got back from the studio, talking over last minute tour plans with Andy. He let Vic's absence slid when we told him he was spending time with Maddy. If Andy has a soft spot, it's bands spending time with their families pre-touring.
We ordered pizza and ate an hour ago, but they're still in the same spot we found them in. Maddy's got her head on Vic's side and they're leaning away from us. If I knew nothing about them, I never would have guessed they were related. Her skin is a much lighter shade than his and she's got blue eyes versus his brown ones. The only Hispanic thing about her is her curvy hips forming out of her thin muscular thighs. Her dainty ankles rest crossed with each other nearest to me.
Suddenly, she reaches up and pushes her side-swept hair out of her face. I pull my eyes off of her and glance back to the screen, hoping she didn't catch me looking.
"Hey, sleepyhead!" Mike exclaims. "You slept for a good couple hours."
She sits up slowly and stretches in her black Chiodos t-shirt. When she notices Vic's own shirt is riding up his side, she reaches out and pulls it down to the top of his jeans for him.
"What did you guys do today?" Jaime asks in a quiet voice as not to disturb his still sleeping friend.
"Just played some guitar," she answers simply. She leans back against the couch and crosses her arms against her stomach. "Vic taught me a couple songs and then we went down to the beach for a little while."
"Are you hungry?" Mike asks. "We ordered pizza but I think it might be gone...."
She smiles slightly and laughs a little. Her eyes turn from the screen and land on me. They look a shade darker than usual. I'm reminded of all the time over the past few weeks I've spent wishing I could call her up again. She's been hanging out with Vic so much that they only time I got to see her was if the band had to meet at the house for something to do with touring or to practice, and even then she didn't stick around much.
"We can go get something if you want,"I offer. The words seem so vulnerable once they're out.
She looks at me as if she's contemplating or thinking of something. It's hard to know of what because her face remains expressionless. A few moments go by before she says, "alright," and puts her hands on either side of her thighs to push herself off the couch. "Just let me change and I'll be right out." She turns, sliding a bit in her socks, and heads in the direction of her bedroom.
"Tony," Mike says after we've heard the sound of her door closing. I turn to my left and he looks at me for half a second before asking, "where are you going to bring her? It's past eleven."
"I'm sure the bars are still open," Jaime suggests.
The first time I get to take Maddy somewhere, it's to a bar. I slip my sneakers on as she comes out of her bedroom. She changed into a gray cardigan over a black tank-top matched with her all black Vans. The make-up that had smudged in her sleep was reapplied. I could feel Jaime and Mike's eyes on me as I approached her.
"Ready?"
She nods. "See you guys later." She peers around me and gives Jaime and Mike a small wave. "If Vic wakes up, tell him I'll be back soon."
Mike nods and they go back to the movie. I lead her to the front door and out to my car. It feels like such a quiet Saturday night despite what I already know is going on downtown. I hit the unlock button on my keys and my headlights come to life. She reaches the passengers side door before I can, leaving me to walk around to my own side. When I start the car, my AFI CD comes on and I immediately turn the volume down. Within minutes we're headed in the direction of a bar Mike's taken me to a couple times. It's the one I know how to get to from here. I'm not a big drinker when I'm home.
"Where are we going?" Her voice suddenly breaks through the silence.
I take my eyes off the road and glance at her for an instant. "The only place I can think of that would be open at this time are the bars."
"I hope you brought the fake ID's then," she jokes.
I haven't thought of the age difference between us very much. Technically, she is still a teenager. I shake the thought from my mind. I've known her for the past five years. She's always been beautiful and funny. I've seen her mature and change. We've bonded a lot since she's been here, too.
"Tony?" She gently pulls me out of my thoughts. "I'm sorry we haven't been able to hang out in the past couple weeks."
I can feel a smile spread across my face. "It's good you and Vic are catching up."
I flip on my directional and turn onto the street that will lead towards downtown. I already know all the bars are going to be packed and it's a little disappointing. Not only am I not a big fan of crowded places, but I want to talk to her more than anything else. Holding a conversation won't be easy in a place full of tipsy people all talking and blaring classic rock music. I sigh and speed up a bit to fall into line with the other cars.
"You and I are going to have to catch up now," she says.
I smile as we pull into the bar parking lot, which is packed. It takes a few minutes to find a parking space among all the other vehicles. I find one towards the back and pull in. The smell of cigarette and cigar smoke mixed with alcohol hits us as we walk through the door. There are people playing pool on a couple tables beneath lamps hanging from the ceiling. Every stool at the bar is taken up by people varying in age. Some look under twenty-one while others look like they could kneel over and die at any moment. A DJ is playing music off of his table a few feet away from the pool tables. Some people are dancing while others stand and sway by themselves to the music. We take in the scenery as we walk to the back where the restaurant is.
"Do you want to eat here?"
She stops in her tracks and takes a second look around the bar. It's just as filled on the restaurant side, just not as dark and less smoke. She looks up at me with a look on her face telling me she'd rather not.
"We can order and I'll bring you home then," I tell her.
She nods and we continue walking up to the counter to order. It looks like all young girls that are working. They all appear to be out of breath, sweat forming on their faces. It reminds me of my first job working at a pizza place down the street from my house growing up. I constantly smelt like cheese, sauce and dough.
"Get whatever you want," I tell her, shoving old memories out of my head.
She looks up at the menu displayed above the register. When it's our turn, she steps up and I stand off to the side while she orders.
"Can I have a bottle of water and two slice of veggie pizza, please?" She begins to pull out her wallet when I stop her.
"I got it, Maddy." I fish my own wallet out of my back pocket when she looks up at me.
"Vic bet me in a wrestling match." A smile spreads across her face and she laughs to herself. "I won. So, I've got it." She hands the cashier a twenty dollar.
"Did you really beat Vic in a wrestling match?"
She smiles up at me and two small dimples form on end of her lips. "It wasn't even close. He claims I caught him off guard."
I laugh and the waitress comes back with Maddy's bottle of water, looking like she'd rather be in hell than working on a Saturday night. I feel bad for her, remembering what it was like to spend my own weekends delivering pizzas and receiving poor tips. I take the money I was going to use to pay for Maddy's dinner out a second time and shove it through the thin cut in the top of a coffee can labeled 'Tips' on a small square piece of paper in pink marker. The cashier gives me a small smile of gratitude before Maddy and I head off to find a booth to sit at while we wait for her food. She sips her water quietly while I look down at my fingers resting on the edge of the table.
"What made you want to get Star Wars on your knuckles?" she asks, looking across the table at my hands.
I shrug. "Star Wars is cool."
"I've never seen it except for that one time at your house," she admits.
My mouth drops open slightly in disbelief. She smiles and shrugs. "Sorry."
"I'm going to let you borrow the movies and books."
"Alright," she says with laughter in her voice. "And Mike said he'd bring me for a tattoo," she raises her eyebrows, as if it's almost too good to be true. "He hasn't yet."
I laugh. "Mike's ambitious. Do you know what you want to get?"
She nods and looks down without saying much else, so I change the subject. "We should get tattooed together."
"Are you going to get more?"
I shrug. "If I can find a place to put it."
She laughs. "Do you have a back piece?"
"Yup. This band never fail me because I'll never get a job anywhere else."
"It wouldn't." She carefully replaced the green cap back on her bottle and twists it with her thin fingers. "You guys have been a band for so long, you've got so many fans."
"You never know. Vic's getting old."
She smiles and laughs shortly. "I guess pushing thirty is kind of old, but he'd never quit."
"Weren't you in a band in high school?"
She looks shocked that I know. To be honest, I don't remember much other than Vic mentioning it a couple days ago at practice. "Vic told me," I tell her honestly.
She nods. "I figured. We weren't very good and not many people knew about us."
"You're a good guitarist, though."
She smiles softly. "Thanks. You are, too."
"Number thirty-one!"
Maddy checks the receipt in front of her and gets up to walk to the counter. She comes back with a triangle-shaped box containing her pizza. She clutches the box in her hands as I lead her back out the way we came in. We step into my car and I start the engine.
"You can eat it now if you want so it doesn't get cold." I put my arm behind her chair and look over my shoulder to pull out of my spot just as a man walks into the back of my car with a dull thud. Clearly he's had a lot to drink by the way he's walking and the look on his face saying he's going to puke any minute. I turn to Maddy, who's looking at me with wide eyes and has gone pale. The man grabs onto my trunk to steady himself before backing up a couple feet. We're left looking at each other. His red eyes go from me to Maddy and back again before he continues walking.
"Welcome to San Diego," I say sarcastically as I complete the turn. She doesn't reply as I drive through the parking lot, looking for other drunks, and to the street.
"Sorry about that," I tell her, taking my eyes off the road for an instant. She's looking down at the box cradled in her lap, preventing it from falling. The corners of her thin lips are turned slightly downward.
We spend the rest of the car ride in silence except for the radio. I pull up to the house and cut the engine when she turns to me. "Do you want to come inside for a little while?"
I'm surprised that she asked. Jaime's car is gone and Mike said he was going to pick up Hannah from a friend's party. I agree, we step out of the car and I lock it behind us before clipping my keys onto the chain hanging from my belt loop. She tries the handle of the front door and it's locked. Mumbling something about how Mike must have locked it before he left, she takes her key out of her purse and swiftly unlocks and opens the door. I follow her into the kitchen where she sits down at the dining table with her food. I take the seat across from her while she gets a plate for her pizza. She begins eating and I wonder if Vic is still asleep on the couch in the living room or if he's moved to his room.
"Thanks for bringing me," she says in between bites of her pizza.
"No problem. It gave us some time to catch up."
She smiles and takes another bite, then wipes her mouth on the napkin she's folded in half beside her paper plate. "Do you want something to drink?"
I shake my head, "thanks anyway."
She finishes her first slice and then wraps up the second one, getting up to slide it into an empty space in the fridge. Finishing the rest of her water, she rinses the bottle out and then dumps it in the recycling. "I'm not tired at all," she informs me as she comes back to the table and reoccupies her seat. "It was a bad idea to sleep for that long."
"No one said you have to go to sleep," I tell her. "I don't mind staying up with you."
I realize that the only time we spend together is in the evenings. We never do anything during the day because I'm either practicing or at some tour meeting or she's with Vic, especially lately. I can see us falling into this pattern and I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not.
"What would you like to do?"
She shrugs and moves so she's sitting on her feet. For a moment, our eyes meet and I'm almost sure she can see how badly I want to kiss her again. I look down and to my surprise, she slides into the seat beside me. She leans across, placing her hands on either of my thighs to steady herself. We both lean in at the same time and our mouths clash together roughly. It's so fucking good to taste her lips again after weeks of only seeing her in passing. I hadn't realized how much I missed her until this moment, when I can feel her breathing in each time our lips separate.
"I missed you," she says in between kisses.
I mumble in agreement and continue moving my lips against hers. Just as I grip onto her bottom lip and pull, we hear the front door close.
Maddy sits back in her chair and looks down into her lap, cheeks glowing red. My eyes meet Mike's and then drift to Hannah who's standing by his side.
"Sorry, man," Mike mumbles. His fingers intertwine with Hannah's and they walk past us quickly and down the hall to Mike's bedroom.
She waits until she hears the door shut behind them to look up at me. The red is gone from her cheeks and she just looks tired now, like the kiss was even to wear her out.
"Do you want to go to sleep now?" I ask her, keeping my voice down.
She simply shakes her head. "I need a drink," she says under her breath. She gets up and goes to the cabinet Mike and Vic keep the booze in. I'm a little impressed by how she already knows where the liquor is and by how quickly she retrieves a glass and starts mixing soda with the alcohol. "Do you want something?"I shake my head and she begins to put the bottles away. When she rejoins me, she's already taken a decent gulp.
"I wouldn't worry what Mike thinks," I say. It's not like he's exactly a Virgin Mary himself. Besides, it was just a kiss.
She takes another sip, a smaller one this time, before placing her glass down on the table top before her. "I don't care what Mike thinks," she shakes her head. "He already knows we were hanging out before and he saw you kiss me that morning we made breakfast."
She runs her index finger down the sweaty side of her glass and chews her bottom lip. I can tell she's thinking but I'm not sure of what.
"Do you remember that guy you hit with the back of your car?" she asks suddenly.
I can't help but laugh a little. "I didn't hit him, he walked into us." I pause and our eyes meet. She seems kind of nervous and looks down. "I'm sure he's fine."
She sighs and takes another sip of her mixture. "He just reminded me of my dad."
I'm left speechless as my own dad passes through my mind. I'm not sure what's worse, having your dad leave you because he wants to or having him die.
She reaches out and places her hand on the spot right above my knee. "It's alright," she smiles softly at me. "It was kind of nice to have someone remind me what he looks like."
"My dad died when I was a year old," I tell her, focusing on the way her thumb runs across the top of my knee. "I don't remember him. I just have a couple pictures."
Neither of us says anything and the house falls into stillness. I feel better now that she knows, like a wall between us has been dropped and we're both now more vulnerable to each other. I admire the way her bangs shade a portion of her face from me until she looks up and the moment is gone.

Within fifteen minutes she's changed into gray sweatpants, tightening around her ankles and a plain white t-shirt. Her hair is thrown up into a careless bun at the top of her head. I'm sitting and watching her read through Chapter One of the first Star Wars book, strumming her acoustic with my fingers. Coincidentally, they were in my car because I was going to give the entire series away since I've already read them. I had gotten it out of my trunk while she changed into pajamas. She tucks a piece of her hair that fell out of the bun behind her ear before turning the page, pressing it down so it will stay. My hand moves across the fret aimlessly and I forget what I'm even playing after a while. She looks up, watching my fingers as I pluck the strings.
"What is that?"
I stop playing and rest the guitar up against the couch. "I don't know. I just made it up."
"It was pretty," she tells me before going back to her book.
Without really thinking, I get up off the love-seat and go to where she's sitting Indian style in the center on the other couch. She looks up, head resting on her hand. I'm on my knees on the floor directly in front of her, so I stretch up until my lips meet hers. It's a strange effect, so I sit up and she moves so we never miss a beat. Within just a few seconds, she's pushed the book aside and I'm climbing up on top of her.
She places her hands, palms up, beside her head. When she stretches, her body moves against mine and I wish that Mike and Hannah weren't just down the hall. I could take her back to my apartment but that would take time. A soft, content moan escapes her lips in between kisses as my hand finds its way up her shirt. I linger on her side. The skin over her ribs are so soft against my palm. She places her hand over mine and moves it upward over her breast.
"Just be quiet," she whispers, pulling away from my lips for an instant.
I feel her tongue against my bottom lip for a fraction of a second before it disappears. Her hands move to the top of my pants and begin to tug.
"What about Mike?" I ask, breaking the kiss.
She looks up at me with hazy eyes. She cranes her neck up to kiss me again, moving her hands from the top of my pants down over my fly instead of answering. I wait to see what she'll do, but instead of pulling it downward she rubs her hand back and forth over the spot with pressure. I produce a moan and crush my lips to hers to make it less audible. All she has to do is let me know she wants this as much as me and I'll take her out to my car if I have to.
The couch doesn't provide us with much space. I pull us down onto the floor, moving so she's on top of me. Maddy sits over my growing hard spot and I place my hands on both of her thighs, holding her there. She leans forward just enough, bracing herself up by my shoulders, so our lips meet to extend the kiss. It's slow and gentle despite the way she felt before and shorter than I'd like for it to be. She comes up out of breath and practically panting as she slides off of my pelvis and lays on the floor beside me.