Paint You Wings

The first thing that Jasey Rae noticed when she woke up was that she wasn't home. The smell was different. It smelled clean. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep in an apartment that smelled of dirty laundry and sweat stand sheets. The other thing she noticed was that she felt empty; tired almost. She knew the shaking would start soon, so she reached her hand down to capture her orange bottle of pills that usually sat at her thigh while she slept. She opened her eyes when her hand touched something soft, familiar, yet something she seemed to long for. Looking down, she saw that her hand was being used as a pillow to a sleeping boy in a plaid shirt. The bags under his eyes told her enough to know that she didn't want to disturb him.

It was then that she actually realized where she was at. The white blankets, the white floors, the white ceiling, the sterile smell, the beeping. She shifted uncomfortable in the itchy gown she was currently wearing. Confusion clouded her. Maybe she didn't actually fall asleep at home. Yes, she must have overworked herself and passed out at practice. No, she had laryngitis. That's what it was. She was sick and just in the hospital. That was it.

Jasey hadn't realized her hand had been twitching while her mind raced, but Alex did.

"J-Jase?" Jasey's head snapped towards the voice, and she almost cried out at the face she saw. Alex sat before her, looking uncomfortable, but with bright eyes and a scruffy face. His brown eyes instantly made her melt, and she felt actual tears prick at the back of her eyes.

Alex produced something that sounded between a laugh, a choke, and a cry, and then suddenly she was in his arms.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." he repeated to her. His hand held the back of her head as he inhaled the scent of her hair. He pulled her away from him suddenly and his lips were soon on hers. She pulled back, surprised, when she felt that her face was wet.

"Alex, what has gotten into you?" she urged.

"You don't remember anything?" he stopped short.

"I'm quite confused, actually." Alex smiled when he noticed the familiar proper tone of her voice. It was like they were seventeen again. Alex braced himself for telling her, because he knew exactly how she'd react. He sat himself in front of her on the bed as she crossed her legs Indian-style. He took both of her hands before speaking.

"Love, you overdosed." he said quietly. Her whole body tensed so quickly that he jumped. She instantly grew pale as her eyes widened.

"I-I what?" she stuttered.

"You overdosed. The pills your manager gave you, they weren't really v-"

"Oh, God Alex I'm so sorry." she broke down. She was instantly in his arms. Alex rubbed small circles on her back as she cried softly into his neck. Alex knew what Jasey thought of herself in this moment and he would have done anything to fix it.

"It's okay, you're okay. Shh." he soothed.

"I didn't mean to- Oh God, I'm sorry." she whispered. "I tried to stop."

"I knew you'd never do that to me," he whispered back, sighing after.

"It was so hard, Alex. I couldn't stop, I would shake and throw up, and I'm just sorry. Okay? I'm sorry." Alex pulled her away from him with difficulty due to her clinging. She instantly hid her face behind her hands, seeming to collapse in on herself. Alex's heart tore.

"Hey, look at me," he whispered as he took her hands away from her. Her eyes met his as more tears fell, and he kissed each one away.

"You're okay now. I won't let that ever happen to you again. I'm not mad Jasey, I thought you were going to die. You honestly think I'd waste time being mad when I could be doing this?" he asked before he leaned in to capture her lips with his.

"I missed you, so much." she told him as they rested their foreheads against each other. Alex's heart leaped at her words.

"I should call the guys," Alex sighed.

"No," she said quickly, "just..just lay with me for a while first."

"I'm sorry I left you," he told her once the back of her head was rested on his shoulder as they both laid on their backs.

"You didn't." she replied easily. Alex looked at her quizzically, secretly wondering if the drug effects still had hold of her.

"I listened to Jasey Rae everyday," she laughed for further explanation. Alex grinned.

"You're still as beautiful as you were when I wrote it." He told her honestly. Jasey rolled her eyes and gripped his hand that rested on her thigh.

"I won't be for long. I don't even want to see how I look now. Probably like a-"

"Don't say it."

"I wasn't." she smiled. Alex took his turn to roll his eyes.

"You know what I mean," she said, "we all use to be so young. So full of life."

"We're only in our twenties, Jase." Alex reminded her.

"Yes, but we won't ever be that way again. Or this way again. We're all just moments Alex, passing each other by. I wish I could go back. I would've done everything different."

"I wouldn't have," he whispered. "You'll always be seventeen to me."