Paint You Wings

"You'll be in a lot of pain. More than you've ever been in your life," the doctor said as Jasey sat on the edge of her hospital bed, fully clothed and ready to leave.

"Most start out with slight tremoring, nothing painful, just an annoying twitch. Then it usually progresses into something more painful. Spasms here and there, vomiting, seizures. In case of a seizure I'd recommend coming back here immediately." Jasey's eyes grew wide as she gripped Alex's hand for comfort.

"You'll probably lose more weight-"

"What weight?" Jack scoffed, only to have Rian smack him.

"I don't think I need to explain further," the doctor said, "withdraws are withdraws."

Alex left to go sign papers at the front desk for Jasey's release while she sat there awkwardly.

"We're really glad you're okay," Zack smiled. Jasey placed a small hand over his large ones and smiled.

"Thanks Zack." An exaggerated sigh came from the lanky boy sitting in the corner of the room.

"Okay I'm leaving. Bye." And with that he rose from his chair aggressively and left the room. The boys couldn't help but to notice the confusion and hurt laced in her features as she stared after his figure getting smaller and smaller as it disappeared down the hallway. She swallowed a hard lump forming in her throat right before Alex reappeared.

"Do you want to do anything before we go back?" he asked her.

"Just take me home Alex. I just want to go home." she whispered as quietly as she could. It took everything she had to keep it together in that moment. Knowing her bestfriend couldn't stand the thought of her being alive tore her insides apart. Zack and Rian couldn't help but feel bad for the girl. Alex didn't know about the scene Jack had just made, and they both doubted she would ever tell him about it.

"Well come on, do you want to walk since it's only a few block?" Alex asked.

"No, Alex. I mean home."

Alex's eyes widened in pure shock, understanding what she meant. Why on earth would she want to be there? Who would ever want to be there?

"Are you crazy? No. I won't take you back there, you're out of your mi-"

"Look, it's fine," Zack spoke up, "my mom said that Jase's step-dad was never out of prison. He had it sent to someone else who went and put it in the mail box. It's fine." Jasey nodded at Zack gratefully, to which he winked back.

"I still don't think it's a good idea." Alex argued.

"Alex, it's where I want to be. Please." Jasey sighed. Alex could tell that her body was worn, and the simple act of arguing was tiring her out more. She palmed her face in attempt to wake herself up while Alex's resolve crumbled.

"Alright," he sighed. "Let's go."

It was only an hour later that the two climbed into Alex's car to make the three hour drive. They both agreed that traveling by plane would be a bad idea in the case of something happening-being her upcoming withdraws. Since it was around noon already, the Dr. had told them he didn't expect anything to happen until the next day, but they wanted to be sure.

"I love you," Alex whispered after about half an hour of driving. Jasey in return brought their intertwined hands to her lips, and kissed the back of his hand lightly.

"I was so scared when I found you. You were so cold." he went into detail as he gripped her hand tightly.

"I'm sorry." Jasey whispered.

She truly was. She'd had no idea about the pills she was taking until it was too late. All she knew was that rehearsals went by faster and her body no longer held the familiar ache that came with them. She only thought the tremors were a form of stress accumulated from her busy work schedule.

To be honest, Jasey zoned out on most of Alex's speech. Her mind stayed on Jack. He'd broken her heart, but she was sure she'd also broken his. She didn't blame him for the way he was acting at all. In fact, she wanted nothing less. She wanted to be screamed at and told she was worthless. She wanted to be told how stupid she was because that's exactly how she acted. Stupid.

She could only imagine how he was feeling at that moment. Getting the call that she'd been found with a bottle of pills surrounded her and her pulse almost nonexistent. He'd even told her to sleep for all of eternity if that's what she wanted. He wasn't trying to hold her back, he was setting her free from her life of pain and suffering. Jack was Jasey's truth. He was her honesty.

And she needed him.