Maybe I Will

Months upon months passed by in what seemed to be the blink of an eye. Dan, Phil, Joey, and myself were very good friends, always stuck at the hip. Although, I wished Dan and I were something more. He made me feel like I was whole again. Because of him, I hadn't cut since we hung out and played Truth or Dare. I felt proud of myself, I guess you could say.

We were chatting about our favorite cartoon character until I heard the doorbell ring. I furrowed my eyebrows together, wondering who on Earth would be at my door at two in the morning.

"Let me go see who that is," I muttered, getting up and sauntering over to the door.

I took the chain lock out and unlocked the door, opening it, only to feel my heart sink down into my stomach. Standing at my door, was none other than the very thing I spat venom at, Matthew. I let out a shaky breath before getting myself together and putting on a front, although in secret, I feared that he would slap me across the face.

"Why the hell are you here?" I spat loudly, maybe a bit too loud. Joey, Phil, and Dan ran up so they were behind me, and folded their arms across their chests.

"I was coming here to get you back, but I didn't realize you were a little whore now," he said with a sweetness that seemed almost toxic, punctuating his remark with a twisted grin that could kill an animal. His black hair shook freely over his head, his hazel eyes burning a hole into my head.

"These are my friends, you jackass," I spat back. "If you wanted to get me back, maybe you wouldn't have slapped me across the face. Because, that doesn't make a person love you."

I felt a stinging pain running down my cheekbone. I blinked hardly, realizing he had just punched me in the face. Before I could even think of what to do, he punched me once more, in the eye, this time.

"That's exactly what you deserve, you filthy bitch," he spat, pushing me to the ground.

I gripped my head and closed my eyes for a minute, until I heard people cursing, and heavy thuds. Someone was shaking me. I took me head out of my hands and saw Phil was shaking me, and Dan and Joey were kicking Matthew's ass.

"You alright?" Phil asked, his eyebrows knitting together worriedly.

I nodded, although I was lying. I could feel my eye slowly swelling up, surely it would leave a purple bruise. My cheek was already swollen as well. Phil got up, grabbed some ice, and pressed it to my face. The impacted bits of my face were soothed instantly. After about ten minutes of burying my head in my knees, everything was quiet. I gingerly looked up to see a bloodied up Dan and Joey, and Matthew had disappeared. Despite my vision going slightly fuzzy now, I rushed over to the boys and hugged them in a tackle. They both groaned, and I lightened up slightly, although I was probably still choking them.

"I'm so sorry," I muttered to them.

They both let go, but had sympathetic looks on their faces. Dan opened his mouth up to speak. "Was that Matthew?"

"Yeah," I said, grabbing my ice and giving it to each of them, pressing it lightly to their injured areas. "Asshole."

We all sat in silence for an hour until the only person left in my apartment was Dan. He promised to spend some nights here, in case Matthew decided to come back. We were sitting across from each other on the bed, rambling tiredly.

"Is...is it times like this when you want to cut?" he asked curiously, knitting his eyebrows together.

I nodded, not looking up. We sat in silence for a few minutes, I was fiddling with my thumbs.

"Hannah?" Dan spoke up, making me look up to him.

I tilted my head in question, and he took a shaky breath. "I think-I'm in love with you."

Before I could say anything, he put his hand on the back of my neck and pressed his lips to mine, making me melt into his fingers.