Everything's Nothing, Without You

Alex's POV

"Man, I dont know what we should do" I said rubbing my hand through my hair.

We were currently in Zack and Nicole's apartment trying to figure out what to do about tour. Me, Rian and Zack, that is. Jack has been m.i.a since that day at the hospital and we haven't heard from him.

"Actually, I might" Zack said getting up to go to his room. He came back with a piece of folded paper. "When we got back from the hospital the other day I couldn't think of what to do. So I went in Nicole's room for the first time since the accident. On her shelf she has every one of our albums lined up neatly and order to when they came out. When I picked one of the CD's up a note fell out. I’m pretty sure the answer is right in the letter" he said giving it to Rian and then he passed it to me.

We both read it and it was pretty clear to all three of us what our decision was. That note was all we needed. We were going on that tour. All we needed to do was convince Jack. But I know that once he reads it he'll go.

An hour later he finally got to the house.

"Dude, you were supposed to be here an hour ago!!" Rian said.

"Well, I’m sorry. I didn't know you'd be up my ass about it or I would of came on time. And plus, you know I don't like being here" Jack said sitting on the couch next to me.

"We came to a conclusion. We are going on that tour" I said slowly and quietly, scared for his reaction.

"WHAT? You made this decision without me?" he yelled.

"That's why you should have been here! But we have a good reason" Rian said back, calmly.

"Oh greeeat. You have a reason. Perfect" Jack said sarcastically.

"Just listen! I was in Nicole's room the other day and found this" Zack said handing the note to Jack.

"First you guys start making decisions without me and now you go in her ROOM? I haven't even been in her room! Fuck all of you, seriously. Fuck you. This is bullshit!" he yelled getting up from his seat.

"You know what? I've had more than enough!" I yelled back standing up, and facing him. "You think you're the only one upset here? You think you're the only one who lost someone? Well you're wrong. We are all upset and torn over this, not just you. I get that she;s your girlfriend but god dammit Jack she was out best friend too. You aren't the only one in this situation. None of us has been the same since that day. SO stop acting like you are the only one going through this because we all are!" I said, anger and sadness in my voice.

Jack just looked down at his feet, and Zack and Rian didn't say anything, probably because they didn't know what to say.

I took a deep breath in, realizing what I just said. I shouldn't have yelled at him.

"Shit, im sorry for yelling. I guess i'm just on edge"

Still no answer.

Jack took the door knob and opened the door. Still looking down he said "She said she was going to marry me that morning. We were going to be forever" And then he left and shut the door.

My heart literally dropped to the floor. Fuck. I really needed to think before I speak. If had just told us, we would have been easier on him.

Jack's POV

I shut the door and walked back t my car. I deserved to be yelled at, I did. I shouldn't be acting like i'm the only one hurting because i'm not.

The note. I still had to read the note. The only way I would read it without feeling like I'm going through Nicole's stuff was to read it with her.

So I went to the hospital, signed in at the visitor desk and went to her room. I brought flowers today. Lilly's, her favorite.

“Hey Nicole” I said. “I went to you place for the first time in a while. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t weird. It gave me a empty feeling that you weren’t there. But um we were there because we had to discuss tour. There’s a tour in two weeks. I really don’t want to go. But, Zack found this note and I guess it made them all want to go on tour. I haven’t read it yet I wanted to read it with you because it didn’t feel right going through your stuff. “

I opened the letter and it was dated. I said aloud:

“June 12, 2009,

I’m writing this letter as a thank you. A than you for being in my life and a thank you for making the music you do. I know I have told you how much I love your music but not nearly enough as I should. Your music has changed my life. When I met you guys I was just an ordinary girl with a couple of friends. Then I met you and became this girl the best friends anyone could ask for who make me laugh, and who I could trust with anything. Every band practice and every show in high school I would go home and think about how amazing you are. You change peoples lives. I see the faces of your fans every night. Their faces light up, they sing your songs, and some even cry. I am so proud to call you guys my best friends. I am so proud to say that All Time Low has changed my life as well and thousands of others. Keep doing what you’re doing. Keep creating music and keep sharing this with your fans. You all have created something amazing here. Music is what you do, it’s what you are. So keep going until you die. Keep going for me, because your music is one of the things keeping me going.

I’ll love you guys forever.

Love always,
Nicole”

As I read the letter out loud my voice was cracking and tears started forming. I now know why the boys made the decision they made. We were doing the tour. For Nicole, and for the fans.

“I guess you just made my decision easier for me. I wish I got to see this when you wrote it but I’m glad I saw it now. It’s what I needed.” I sighed. “You would kill to be on this tour. Its with Blink 182 and Yellowcard. I wish you could come” I said taking her hand and resting my head on it.

I stayed for a little while before I headed out to tell the doctor. He promised me that he would keep an eye on her and try to do anything he could to try to wake her up. He also said that I could call every day to check on her.

I texted the boys “I’m in” before I drove back to my house to pack. Maybe when I come back she would wake up. That’s all I thought about, well that’s all I could think about.