Breathe Life Into Me

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"Please tell me thats everything" Mel heaved as we both dropped two more boxes to the floor. I chuckled lightly.

"If only...that's all for now though" I assured her.

She just nodded. "Yea uhh not even close.." Dean voiced but the absent tone made me look over at him and I saw how Deans eyes were fixated on her.

He wanted to say something but was refraining from doing so. It was happening more than usual lately. He was always watching her so carefully as if she would slip away in an instant. I found myself wondering if Sam ever looked at me that way...I couldnt remember if he ever did...

"The Men of Letters kept files on every demonic possession for the last 300 years, I mean, we've got from Borden, Lizzy all the way to Crane, Ichabod" he continued, walking over to Sam who was knee deep in the thousandth book that he had grabbed.

I was concerned but needed to focus on Mel. Dean and I had agreed that we'd put everything else aside and put them first. He was assigned to Sam while I had Mel...we figured it would make things easier with her amnesia and all....

"Hey...you okay?" Mel stepped in front of me.

I saw the faint dark circles under her eyes and the open pours on her skin that she was trying to hide with makeup. But even looking at her worst...she always looked her best. It was her strength. It was still obviously present within her subconscious. And even when she's the one who could use some comforting...she's still looking out for me...always there for me...worrying...how was I supposed to make her stop worrying? How can I? There has to be a way to make it clear that I'm the one in charge...that I'm taking over as "big sister"...that it's my turn....

"What? I'm great! What about you?" I eyed her. She smiled softly and then sighed. "Well...my whole body hurts. I feel exhausted and still wired. I feel nauseous and like I'm starving at the same time, and everything smells like rotting meat..."

"So you should be resting and not moving heavy boxes around"

"I may be drained but I'm not pregnant, Brit. Besides, who has time to rest?"

She went to walk away from me and over to some more books but I reached out and quickly grabbed her wrist. She looked back at me. I opened my mouth to speak...but she beat me to it.

"Everything will be okay, Brit" she promised and my stomach churned. She was coming back, she had to be....

"Morning" Cas came walking in.

I watched Dean roll his eyes, brushing him off and I took note of the hurt look in Cas' eyes. I wanted to tell them to get a room but I fought the urge when Dean grabbed Mel in a very protective manner and got her to follow him into the kitchen.

"I like it here. It's very organized" he continued.

"Oh, give us a few months. Dean wants to get a ping-pong table" Sam replied to Cas.

"I've heard of that. It's a game, yes?" Sam just nodded.

I went to see if Dean and Mel wanted "help" in the kitchen but then Cas groaned as he sat down. My eyes went up to him.

"Are you okay?" I asked cautious about my tone.

I didn't want to sound annoyed but I didn't want to sound happy either. I was kind of conflicted about Cas right now.

"My wound isn't healing as quickly as I'd hoped...but I am getting better. And you're getting worse" He eyed Sam.

"Well, two trials down, one to go" he forced a smile at him.

"And the final test, do you know what it is?"

"We have to cure a Demon"

"Of what?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out"

I put a hand on his shoulder and gestured to the files. I knew I should've been angry with Cas...but I couldn't find it in me. We've all made mistakes...some more than others...it wouldn't be fair to hold it against him. Not with the situation we were in right now.

"Soup's on" Dean voiced as he brought in two trays. He pulled out a chair beside Sam and gestured for Mel to sit. She did and he took a quick sip from the beer meant for San. "Yea, it's still good" he nodded.

"A half-drunk beer, jerky, and three peanut-butter cups?" Sam questioned the food selection his brother picked out.

"We're kind of running low...on everything" Mel laughed lightly.

"I'll make a run" Dean established and went for his coat.

"I'll go with you" Mel offered as she slowly pushed her chair out. My eyes snapped in her direction. Since when does she....

"You should probably stay here...savor some energy..." he suggested, fighting against telling her to tag along.

So Melissa wants to go with Dean...and Dean wants to keep space between them...what the hell? My eyes went to Sam and he was just as confused as I was.

"So now you dont want me to..." she started to argue but was cut off by a coughing attack.

I rushed to her side when I saw her collapsing but she slammed her hands on the table, refusing to give in to the weakness.

"That's why I want you to stay...conserve your energy..." he tried but when she snapped a smile up at him he shut up.

"But I'm fine" she tried to laugh.

It hurt me seeing how hard she was trying to hide her pain...but she was trying most of all to hide it from Dean...which made me hesitate....

"Melissa, I'll go with Dean" Cas voiced.

"No" was all Dean said in a very stern and scary tone.

"Dean. I'm sorry" Cas pleaded.

That's when Dean spun to face him. I secretly helped Mel back into her chair while her eyes were stuck on the two of tem, hoping she didn't notice me being so nonchalant.

"For what?"

"For everything"

"Everything? Like, uhh ignoring us?"

"Yes"

"Or like bolting off with the Angel Tablet, then losing it 'cause you didn't trust me? You didn't trust me"

I think Dean's hurt was finally registering in Cas' head. Cas was his best friend...and to not feel trusted by your best friend...it's one of the worse pains out there.

"Yes" Cas admitted reluctantly.

"Yeah. Nah, that's not gonna cut it. Not this time. So you can take your little apology and you cram it up your ass"

"Dean, I thought I was doing the right thing"

"Yeah, you always do" Suddenly Samais throat. "Do we have a room 7B?" he asked and we all looked at each other.

We followed Sam's instructions down to the basement and into a giant room with hundreds of archives and tools mounted everywhere.

"Hey, Dean...go easy on Cas" Sam voiced.

"Not you too" he groaned back. I eyed Melissa. "Dude, if anybody else -I mean anybody-pulled that kind of crap, I would stab them in their neck on principle. Why should I give him a free pass?"

"Because it's Cas" I reasoned at the same time Mel murmured. My eyes shot to her as she seemed un-phased.

"Find anything on case 1138. It was a class 5 infernal event -- St. Louis, March 8, 1957" Sam explained. Focus, focus, focus...

"...the Letters have this whole rating system. "The Exorcist" would have been a class 2"

"All right, so, what makes this puppet show so special?" I asked.

"It was weird"

"Weird how?" Mel wondered.

"No clue. One of the files just had a note written in the margin about room 7B and the word "weird" with three exclamation points"

"Good times" Dean grunted and we each split up in different directions to start our search. I found myself watching Dean and Mel though. Something was off....

"See anything good?" Sam's voice made me jump. This place made me feel comfortable which was never a good thing...you should never get too comfortable with anything...you start to let your guard down.

"I dont know...I feel like we're being kept in the dark about something..." I eyed the couple as they started hissing at each other.

"What else is new?" he chuckled.

"I'm serious, Sammy. Mel's been acting weirder than usual and Dean...well he's definitely losing it. And I'm..."

"Scared?" he said it for me.

I just nodded. "I need her back, Sam...I need you both back" I sighed.

I wasnt sad or angry and I didnt want to cry...I was just tired. I wanted all of this to be over and I didnt want to have to worry about Sam and Mel's health anymore. I want to be able to go to sleep without worrying about how this would turn out.

"Hey...check this out" I spun at the sound of Mels voice and I saw her struggling to pull one of the bookcases out of place.

Dean was quickly at her side to relieve her of the task as Sam got on the other side ad together they moved it out of the way. When it was moved we saw a set of skid marks all over the floor moving in on direction. So I stepped forward and grabbed two handles, pulling them toward me. As I did so, two doors began to slide roughly in my direction, revealing a back room in the process. We all walked in cautiously and looked around at thedevil's trap on the floor...manacles and other restraints hung up on walls or the cemented floor...obvious torture devices....

"Is that a Devil's Trap? It takes up half the room" Dean commented in awe.

"These chains have spell work etched into them" Melissa pointed out. We all looked at her. "Why do you all look at me like that whenever I say something relative? So I do my homework!" she claimed, oblivious to the real reason why we're staring at her wide-eyed.

How can she still not remember anything? All of these hints and coincidences? I mean, come on already!

"So we have a dungeon..." I moved along. Stay focused on the task at hand, Brittney...one thing at a time. I keep saying that, putting off "Melissa's thing"...but when will it finally come time to....

"Finally!" Dean laughed, looking at everything we now owned.

I looked over at Sam. "What do you got there, Sammy?" I asked. He held up a movie reel and gestured to a projector. "Movie night?"

While the boys began setting up the projector in the living room, Mel said she was going to get some air but she had ben gone too long for my liking so I went to go get her...but I didnt have to go far.

"What happened to getting some air?" I asked as I crouched down in front of her while she just sat against the wall in the middle of the hallway.

"I couldnt make it to the door so I figured this spot was as good as any" she sighed. Her eyes met mine. "Please stop looking at me like that"

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like I'm on my death bed. I'm not dying, Brit" The genuine in her voice was back...the kindness...the sincerity....

"Mel...this stuff is serious. It's life or death..."

She laughed. "Yea, I think I got that much...everything we do is life or death apparently. But I need you to trust me...like the way I trust you..."

"I'd trust you with my life...I just never thought you..."

"Why wouldnt I trust you the same way?" she finished my thought and I eyed her carefully. It was like...she knew what I felt...what I was thinking...the way she used to....

"Melissa...would you tell me if you started remembering again?" But as soon as I asked the question something in her expression changed. She wasnt nervous or anxious or anything like that...she was more unsure of herself; confused. Not about the question...but about her answer.

"Melissa..." I tried again.

"You guys ready? We're starting it" Dean came over to us. I looked up at him. "Everything okay...?" he asked.

Before I could tell him to leave us alone for a minute she was already on her feet and walking his way. I sighed standing up as well. Melissa jumped forward to grab Dean's hand and she held it as if it would disappear from her gasp. There was still a big gap between them but I saw how tense Dean became, afraid it was a dream...that everything would shatter in an instant. But the way she looked at him was with such familiarity...she was comfortable with the action...so comfortable she even initiated it herself. I followed them back into the living room and Cas sat two seats away from Sam. I sat stiffly in between them with so many thoughts running through my head. The familiarity...the comfortability...the endearment....

The video began projecting against the wall. "Simon, we're filming" "Um, hello, world" "So this new ritual we're going to see, This new type of exorcism,h-how does it work?" " I don't know. It's my first time..."

The camera panned to the voice of the woman who was talking."Wait, is that Abaddon?" Sam asked and then we watched her turn the camera to an older woman who was chained to the ground and was struggling to stand up from her knees but it was no use.

"Hurry. We must do it now"
"Dead! They're all dead! Everyone you ever loved..."

"Hey, those chains look exactly like the ones in our dungeon" I voiced, watching every movement and listening to every movement very meticulously.

"In your what?" Cas asked but we were all too concentrated on the video.

The demon was snapping her head at preist but a chain was holding her back. "Demon on a leash. Cool" Dean commented.

The priest began to recite a form of exorcism and all we did was watch as the woman writhed in pain and yelled out in agony...and then she was dead. "She's dead...where's the demon?" "Stop filming" "What happened?" "Will you just stop?!" The projector came to a stop.

"Well, that was weird..." Mel said.

"With three exclamation points" Dean agreed.

"That wasn't a normal exorcism. They changed the words" I noted.

"I believe "lustra" is Latin for wash or cleanse"

"Oh, yeah, 'cause that was the most freaky thing was the vocabulary" Dean spat and Mel nudged him.

"What about the bloody high five or the chest burster? Anything else on the film, like director's commentary, sequel, maybe?" he continued, spreading out more tapes and articles.

"Yeah, listen to this. The older priest, Max Thompson, bit the dust in '58, but the younger one is still alive and still in St. Louis" Sam read.

"Think this kind of weird is worth the drive?"

"Dean, everything in those folders, the possessions, the deals, all of it, we've seen that before, but that..."

"That's all new. It's definitely worth the drive" I nodded at him.

"Alright. Let's roll" We all stood up. "Not you" Dean pointed at Cas.

"Sam and Melissa are much more damaged than I am" he tried to defend.

"Yeah, well, you know, even banged up, Sammy and Mel come through"

"Dean, I just want to help" He was pleading now.

"We don't need your help. Just stay here and...get better" he shook his head, seriously disappointed as he went for the front door.

None of us could really do anything else except to follow him. When Dean makes his mind up about something or something there's no changing it. But when I looked back I saw Mel hanging back saying something to Cas which seemed to make him feel a little better. I forced myself to turn and keep walking. It couldnt be...it wasnt possible....

Cas

Any way possible, I had to make things right. I wasnt quite sure about what I was feeling but this sensation I had in my stomach made me uncomfortable whenever I even thought about Dean not wanting anything to do with me. So maybe, just maybe, this money that Mel gave me to replenished their bunker would give me a good start. She never changes; memory or not she still believes in me. I couldnt let her down. Beef jerky...beer...toilet paper...Dean's favorite pornography magazine....some fruits and tea bags for Sam and Brittney's benefits...these frozen baked potato sticks and ice cream for Melissa...all of their favorites...there was just one thing left....

"Where's your pie?" I asked the boy behind the register.

He gestured to the empty shelves. "I think we're out" he told me and I got that strange sensation again as it suddenly took over and I lunged forward to grab the boy by his collar pulling half of his body over the counter.

"You don't understand...I need pie" I informed him. Pie was the key. It was the only way.

"Put the virgin down, Castiel. We need to talk" I heard a voice from behind me.

I let go of the clerk and turned to face him. Metatron. "You're Metatron? The Metatron?"

"Yes. In public, it's Marv"

"Marv" I acknowledged.

"And you're Castiel. Kevin Tran told me about you"

"He did?" What good would Kevin have to say about me?

"Yeah. According to him, you and I have a lot in common. We're both free thinkers. We're both on Heaven's most wanted list. I thought we could socialize, maybe grab a bite" He gestured for me to follow him so once I paid for my items, I grabbed the bags and followed him back outside.

"I'm sorry...we can...what?"

Now I was confused. He was too much like humans. He observed all of creation and he knew thing....knew how to act, knew how to manipulate....

"Look, I've been on sabbatical. I'm trying to play catch-up, but I have to talk to somebody about what's going on back home"

"And by home, you mean Heaven?"

"Right. I've been looking around, crawling through a few divine nooks and crannies, and from what I can see, without the Archangels, it's a mess up there. Open warfare"

"I thought Naomi was running things now"

"Is that what she told you? I mean, Naomi's a player -- don't get me wrong -- just one of many. There are factions upon factions, all fighting, betraying each other. It's just a matter of time before they start ripping each other apart. It's all broken"

"I know, I'm the one who broke it. There was a time when I thought I could lead our people, but I was mistaken. I spilled so much blood. And I've tried to atone for my sins and I did penance. And I..betrayed my friends to protect our secrets, but I've just failed. And now..." I sighed, disappointed in everything I've done and everything I had lived for.

"Look, I know. But now the angels--Heaven--need someone to come to the rescue. They need us"

"Us?"

"Yeah. Just picture it. We ride to the rescue, save the day, make a great story. Look, the angels are like a big, dysfunctional family. We need to lock them all in a room until we work these problems out, all the factions, you, me..."

"What, like a big family meeting?"

That sounded fine...great actually...I've seen Dean, Sam, Melissa and Brittney have them plenty of times and there are always results. Maybe it's exactly what we needed....

"Exactly. Which is why we have to shut down Heaven"

"What?" Now that didnt sound fine.

"Do you like crepes?" he changed the subject.

"Wait..."

"Eugenie's in Ojai makes the greatest caramel apple crepes" Without another second he was gone.

"Metatron! M-Marve!" I hissed into the air but it was no use. Now I know how the others feel whenever I do the same thing....