Finally I'm Free

5 weeks pregnant.

I am 5 weeks pregnant.

I am pregnant.

Pregnant.

Im gonna have another baby.

But what if its twins again?

What if it’s more than twins?

I can barely take care of two babies by myself now im gonna add another one or even more.

What if Brian doesn’t want another baby?

What if he leaves me?

He can’t leave me, I need him.

But if he does then im left taking care of 3 or more children.

Im not even working, how can I take care of a family without a job?

Wait…

Why am I stressing over this?

Brian won’t leave me, he loves me.

He tells me that every day.

Im going to have this baby with Brian by my side.

I nodded my head along with that thought but then I stopped.

What if he really doesn’t want another baby?

Or what if that while on tour he doesn’t need me?

Or what if he sees that me and the twins are holding him back?

What if he sees he doesn’t need or want a family?

No… No… No…

I can’t go on thinking about the what if’s.

I just have to take this one step at a time.

That’s all… just one step at a time.

Or and I can’t tell Brian over the phone…

I head slapped myself on my forehead.

How the hell am I going to keep my pregnancy from Brian for 2 more months?

This is going to be a hard next couple of months.



*Time skips 2 months*



It has been a hard, rough and long two months.

Once I sat the twins down and told them that they can’t tell their Daddy or Grandpa or even their uncles. And then told them it was a surprise for Daddy. Then after that explained to Lilly that telling Daddy would ruin the surprise and hurt me, she promised she wouldn’t tell.

McKenna was easier to talk to about it. I told the truth. That this is something you can’t tell over the phone or video chat. She was all for it since she thinks it’s gonna be so cool to be an aunt again.

My mother, well she was easy too. Since she was the one who came up with the idea.

The other girls were easy to talk to too. And then we all agree not to Rose, since she tells Matt everything. And I do mean everything.



“Momma are you feeling okay?”

I was shaken out of my distracting thoughts by Jimmy, who was sitting next to me on the plane.

“Yea im just trying to distract myself from the plane sickness, Monster.” I run my fingers through his non-spikey blonde hair that he inherited from me.

“You’re not gonna throw up, are you Mommy?”

I smile down at my son and shake my head softly, “hopefully not, Monster.” He nodded his head and laid his head on my leg as he curled up into a ball on his seat. I placed his blanket over his small body and run my fingers threw his soft hair. I close my eyes and try to just focus on McKenna and Lilly’s convocation about all different kinds of animals.

“I think puppies are better than kittens.” Lilly said while coloring in her Princess coloring book.

“Pinkly is the only dog I like. Kittens are better than puppies.” McKenna was talking while coloring in a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse one.

Lilly gasps loudly, “You only like Pinkly? What about Sinbad and Rocky?”

“Not really. I don’t like boy doggies.” McKenna poked Lilly on the nose and smiled as her niece giggled.

“Sweetie, are you feeling any better?” I crack my left eye a little bit and look at my mother. I shake my head and whimper a little. “Do you want to go to the bathroom?”

“No if I move I will puke.” I whimpered to her. She ran a hand threw my hair softly and kisses my forehead.

“It’s gonna be okay, so you are gonna be in Brian’s arms soon.” I nodded my head and went back to breathing in deeply.

Once the flight attendant announced that we are going to land, I clutched the armrest tightly in my hands. Jimmy was now awake and looking at me warily. My poor son thinks im gonna puke on him and I just might. Once the plane has landed safely, I jumped outta my seat and ran to the nearest trash can. I felt hands on my back and another set of hands holding my hair. I then heard Deni and Boo-Boo’s voices in my ears. I wipe my mouth after I was done with a napkin Boo-Boo gave me. Deni handed me a small bottle of mouth wash and I rinsed out my mouth.

I carefully walked over to the family which was Momma, Jimmy, Lilly, McKenna, Megan, Jordan, Kylah, Boo-Boo, Deni and Jacoby’s sons, Makaile and Jagger.

I lean on Deni’s side and hug Jimmy to me. Lilly was watching me with sad eyes that remind me so much of her fathers, as she was sitting in her Aunt Kenna’s arms.

“Let’s get to the arena.” I said to all of them and we walk outside with the baggage handlers walking behind us.

Two limos was waiting out front for our group.

Me, Kenna, the twins, Momma, Deni and Jacoby’s sons were in one and the rest as in the other.

I laid my head on Momma’s shoulder as Deni rubbed my back. I closed my eyes and tried to think of the best way to tell Brian.

It has been a miracle that none of the guys think something is up with us. I mean Lilly and Kenna almost told Brian countless times. But I told Brian that they were just gonna tell him about a movie they saw hundreds of times. I have a feeling Brian didn’t really believe me but since he couldn’t really prove anything, he couldn’t call me out on it.

I just hope that he will like it that im pregnant again.



I sighed as the limo pulled to a stop. I clutch Momma’s hand as felt my stomach roll with nausea. I carefully climb out of the limo and look at my reflection in the shiny limo exterior.
The loose and long gray top laid on my baby bump perfectly that you can see but yet you can’t really tell im pregnant. Since my jeans don’t fit anymore, now that my bump has finally showed up. im now wearing leggings until I can go shopping for maternity clothes again. I would have worn my old ones but they are bigger sizes seeing as I was carrying twins now im pretty sure it’s just one baby. I rest my hand on my bump and smiled as I felt a little flutter.

“Mommy can we go see Daddy now?” I look over at my children and nod my head with a small smile on my face.

The children took off running, even McKenna, while the adults walked slowly behind them.

I heard his laugh before I saw any of them. that rich and wonderful laugh. the one that makes me feel better knowing that if he is happy then I can be happy too. I walk closer to the laugher and smile as I see them. Brian had Lilly lying over one shoulder while with his other hand he held just one of our sons foot.

“Daddy put us down!”

“Never!” Brian screamed at Jimmy’s demand.

“Grandpa help!” Lilly screamed.

“WOOHOO GRANDPA TO THE RESCUE!” was screamed before I saw a thin, lean, tall body crash into Brian and they all when falling onto the couch behind Brian.

I laugh as I saw the four of them laughing with each other.

Brian looks up and his laugher stops. His brown eyes met mine and I saw the one thing that made me know no matter what I tell him, he will still be there. And that was Love.

That was the look in Brian’s eyes as he looked at me.

I smile a small smile and he gave me huge one in return. Brian stood up and carefully placed our children onto the couch next to their Grandfather. Brian slowly walks over to me and takes me in his arms. I crumble and fall into his warm embrace. I start sobbing as I brought one hand up and clenched his V neck in my fist.

“What’s the matter, Kitten?” I shake my head and sob louder. “Come on you can tell me anything Alexa.”

I look up at him with tears falling from my eyes.

“Im pregnant.”