Fear Itself

The next morning, I recuperated from my experience in my office, exploring the place, as exploring my surroundings always tended to calm me. I shuffled through the desk drawers, but I didn’t really find anything of interest. Avery sat on my cot just a few feet away, silent as usual. He was scrunched up a little, head facing forward but eyes staring at the wall on his far right. I shifted around in my chair to look at him, and I offered a gentle smile. I shuffled over to sit beside him, and he slumped over just a little. He dropped one foot to the floor, softly tapping his heel against the tile.

I leaned back against the wall, hands loosely clasped in my lap. I closed my eyes a heaved a shallow sigh, taking in the silence. The calm didn’t last. My open door was soon filled by Dean, who entered with his chest puffed out and nostrils flaring, breathing audibly and walking with a mild stomp.

“Muscles, what do you want?” I opened one eye and glanced up at him. He was absolutely red in the face. “You’re puffing like a chimney,” I commented, eyebrows furrowed.

His eyes tightened, no longer blue but cold and hardened with frustration. “Mind leaving for a minute, Blondie?” I knew that wasn’t so much a question as it was a demand. Not only was I offended by his tone, I never did what I was told, so I scoffed a little, folding my arms over my chest.

“What for?” I questioned defensively, shifting a little closer to Avery.

“I need a word with your pet mute,” he taunted, eyes fixed on Avery, who stared on still. Avery’s eyes finally drifted over to Dean, but he didn’t say a word. He barely reacted at all.

I had to take a moment to process what Dean had just called Avery? My pet mute? I could have laughed. Heat flushed through my body. “Muscles, I think you should hold your tongue if—“

He wasn’t concerned with what I had to say. He stomped right on in, glowering at Avery and paying no attention to me at all. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew about this place?” Dean prodded, scowling, leaning in a little closer to Avery. Avery said nothing, not a damn thing. Good. I wouldn’t have answered Dean either. “Four years,” Dean spat. “Four years, and you never said a goddamn word!”

The more I watched, the more my muscles shook. How dare he talk to Avery like that? How dare he find himself so superior? How dare he demand Avery answer to this treatment? “You don’t pay him to talk,” I snapped. “You pay him to do your dirty work. He doesn’t have to tell you anything.”

“Blondie, this doesn’t concern you,” Dean huffed, still staring at Avery. His fists clenched tightly at his sides. I thought I saw a vein in his neck bulging, nearly swollen enough to burst.

“I most certainly think it does.” My teeth began to grind. “You think you can just come in my room, storming about like a maniac? What gives you the right?”

“Have you even read the journal you threw at me?” Dean laughed incredulously. “He knew about this place. He came down here all the time. He hung out with your mum, and my dad, and my uncle Lawrence—“ Dean’s arms were shaking and rattling. A thin shin of sweat broke on his forehead as he turned back to Avery, stood up straight, and cracked his neck from side to side. “So, you wanna tell me why you didn’t say anything, or do I have to make you talk?” he pressed.

My heart thudded strong against my ribcage. “Muscles, leave him alone,” I cautioned, my breathing steady and harsh.

“Talk,” Dean demanded, eyes staring Avery down, unwavering. When Avery shifted but an inch instead of answering, a scowl slipped onto his face. “Talk!” he roared. He roared loud and hard like it came straight from the pit of his stomach. He lurched forward and shoved Avery back into the wall. Out of instinct, I leapt across and shoved Dean right back, off of Avery. I rose to my feet, still on the mattress, and stood over him, looking down with a narrowed gaze.

“Don’t you ever touch him,” I snarled. “Don’t you ever put your hands on him again.”

“I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” Dean snapped back at me. His body shook and shivered. His fists tightened at his sides. “Blondie, get out of my way.”

“No.” I didn’t move. I didn’t budge. My whole body was tensed up. He was not going to hit Avery, not if I had anything to do with it. Dean’s jaw was clenched, and his eyes narrowed even more when he looked at me. He huffed a little, and I saw him begin to turn.

“Fine,” he growled, grunting as he slammed his fist into my wall on his way out, leaving a large dent beside my door.

“You can take your bullshit somewhere else!” I shouted after him, making sure he heard me as he stormed off into the distance. When he disappeared from view, I sat back down with a huff. Leaning back, I shook my head and muttered, “Unbelievable.” Ignoring the bitter taste in my mouth, I glanced to Avery, who was still unaffected. “You alright, Mumbles?” I asked softly, eyebrows knitted with worry.

“Um, Yeah,” he grunted under his breath. “I’m just fine.” He swallowed and rubbed the base of his throat. I heard the uncertain tone in his voice, but I knew better than to ask. Avery was just like that, you know. He wouldn’t have told me, anyway.

My eyes fell back upon the doorway in a stony gaze. My lips pressed tight, only to slip into a slightly bitter smile. I wondered where Dean had gone, wondered if perhaps I should have gone after him to see what was wrong. Part of me didn’t want to, and I didn’t know where that left us. I had never seen him like that, and it scared me.

I felt my chest tighten as though my heart was shrinking up in my chest. My jaw clenched a little as I lowered my head to stare at my lap. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen… even more so, I couldn’t believe I even let it escalate as far as it did. I couldn’t believe I almost let Dean attack Avery like that. I bit my bottom lip and decided that I’d leave Dean to cool down. I wanted to be alone, anyway.