Never Say Goodbye

"H-He's d-dead."

Kurt felt the phone slipping from his fingers. He felt numb.

"No," the word slipped out of his lips, almost barely audible. Kurt felt like his world was slowly crashing down around him. He had been mad at Blaine, so much so that it had made his heart ache, but now his heart hurt so much more than it had earlier.

Blaine, his Blaine, was dead? Kurt couldn't believe that it was true. No, it couldn't be true. Blaine couldn't be dead.

"Kurt?" the voice snapped him out of his numbness and he slowly bent down and picked up the fallen phone. "Kurt, are you there?"

"I-I'm here," he whispered into the phone. "H-How? How did it happen?"

"Kurt, you need to come home," Cooper said, ignoring his question. "T-There's something that you need to see."

"I'll be on the next flight out."

It felt like it had taken weeks to get back to Lima, though the trip had only lasted a few hours. Kurt had managed to catch a flight out just as it was about to leave. They had quickly let him on after his quick explanation of why he 'had to be on that plane'.

He had been restless the entire flight and the whole drive over to the Anderson house. Finally, his cab pulled up before the large house and Kurt quickly got out, basically throwing his money at the driver as he hurried towards the door.

Kurt suddenly became aware of the fact that there were two police cars sitting in the drive way. One of the cops standing by the cars noticed him and quickly made his way over to Kurt, stepping in front of him before he could reach the door.

"I'm sorry, but you can't go in there," the man said, holding his hand out to stop Kurt.

"You don't understand, my boyfriend-" Kurt stopped suddenly. He and Blaine had broken up. Blaine was technically his ex... Was.

"It's alright, Officer," Cooper's voice suddenly came from the doorway. "He's with me." Kurt looked over at Cooper and gave him a small, thankful smile. Cooper just shrugged and waved him over as he turned back and entered the house, with Kurt quickly following behind him.

The first thing that Kurt noticed was the smashed lamp on the floor and the small, red drops on the ground, leading up the stairs.

"No," he whispered softly as he realized what it was. Blood.

"Cooper, where is he?" Kurt asked, turning to look up at the older man. The oldest Anderson boy looked like a wreck. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were bloodshot. Tear stains marked his cheeks and shirt.

"They took him already," Cooper replied blankly. He took a bottle of Scotch off the table and poured a glass. He offered the glass to Kurt, but he just waved it away, so Cooper downed it himself instead.

"What happened?" Kurt asked softly. Cooper looked at him with dead eyes.

"I was going to surprise him," Cooper whispered. "I came home to hang out with him because Mom and Dad were out of town. But then I saw this. And when I walked upstairs-" His voice cracked and a fresh wave of tears rolled down his cheeks.

Kurt tried to get him to continue, but he couldn't, so Kurt slowly started to ascend the stairs himself, his eyes catching every red dot that had seeped into the carpeted steps. He quickly reached the top and followed the trail down the hall. To Blaine's bedroom. Kurt slowly pushed the door open and his hand flew to his mouth.

Kurt had been in Blaine's room many times, so he knew exactly where everything belonged. He knew that that poster should be on the wall, not on the floor, torn to shreds. He knew that Blaine's clothes were always neatly folded in his drawers or hanging in his closet, not scattered all across the room. And he knew that that rope was not supposed to be there.

Kurt felt his eyes starting to tear up as he looked at the rope, just dangling there. Part of it was missing, which Kurt quickly spotted lying discarded on the floor, thrown away by whoever had cut him down.

Kurt turned away, feeling his stomach twist in knots as he pictured what Cooper would have seen, walking into this room.

Kurt slowly forced himself to look back at the rope again, his eyes trailing down to the floor where there was a large red stain on the carpet. This spot was way bigger than any of the dots leading up to the room. What had he done to himself?

Kurt suddenly felt a heavy hand on his shoulder and turned around to find Cooper standing there. His eyes briefly flickered into the room, horror flashing through them as he relived the moment that he had found Blaine, before they turned back towards Kurt.

"Why, Kurt?" Cooper's voice caught in his throat as he asked the question. "Why did he do it? He was so happy..."

"We broke up," Kurt admitted softly, his voice threatening to crack as well. "Something happened and we fought and we broke up... I didn't want to answer his calls cause I was mad, but I never thought that he'd do something like this!"

A sudden thought sank into his head.

[i[I didn't answer his calls. Kurt quickly pulled out his phone and called his voicemail. There were four messages. The first three were pretty basic, but the fourth one made Kurt's blood run cold.

"Kurt," Blaine's voice sighed through the phone. "I wish you had picked up... I can't do this, Kurt. I can't be without you. I screwed up. I know that. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anyone. I'm so stupid and worthless. I screwed things up between us... And honestly, Kurt? I can't live without you... I don't want to live without you." A sob. "I really wish that you had picked up, Kurt. I need you. I need you so badly right now. Kurt, I'm alone. So alone. I can't do this anymore... My only satisfaction is that I'll get to take a part of you with me. We will forever be connected. They can't hide it. They can't take it away. Oh, it hurts so much, Kurt, but I had to do it. I had to have that piece of you with me. I don't think I would be able to do this if I didn't have you with me... Kind of with me... It's kind of like having a neck tie... Not a very fashionable one." A bitter laugh. "But it will have to do... I'm scared, Kurt. I'm scared, but I can't go on without you... You once said that you would never say goodbye to me... Well, I can't promise the same thing. Goodbye, Kurt. I hope that you become as big of a star that I know you can be... I love you." There was a moment of silence, one last sob, and then the call was ended.

Kurt stood numbly, holding the phone to his ear, unable to take it away. Blaine had called him right before he... Kurt couldn't bear to think about it.

Something that Blaine had said sparked something in his memory.

"Cooper?" Kurt said, turning back to the older man. "Blaine said something about having a piece of me with him. What did he mean?" Cooper looked at him with heavy eyes and let out a huge sigh.

"His arm was bloody when I... found him," Cooper replied softly. "He carved something into his skin. A name. Your name."