For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic
Do It Now, Remember It Later
Kier’s point of view
“Drew, wait a minute!” I called, darting out to grab his wrist to stop him from leaving. I really hope I don’t regret this. He turned around to look at me, his expression a mixture of both fear and sadness, a bit of confusion in there too; but do you really blame him? He rose an eyebrow at me, silently telling me to go on with what I wanted to say.
I hesitated before speaking again, “I-I’m sorry,” I stammered, my muscles relaxing as the words left my lips. My grip around Drew’s wrist didn’t loosen though, he’d run away otherwise and I really needed him to hear me out.
I bit down on my lip, searching his face for any kind of rejection before I continued. “I’m so sorry Drew, I shouldn’t have said what I did and I-“
“It’s okay,” he mumbled, cutting me off as his gaze fell to the floor, “it wasn’t your fault. Can I go now?”
My fingers tightened around his wrist instinctively and I shook my head. I tugged on his arm and pulled him back over to the stage so we could sit down. I really really needed to explain myself, didn’t I? I don’t really know what to explain though I mean I didn’t really know I’d done anything that bad until Laurence and Shane and Kevin pointed it out.
Once we were both sitting down and he had all his attention on me, I launched right into my apology; “I’m so sorry Drew! I didn’t mean for you to get hurt so badly and I was drunk and I led you on and I broke your heart and I didn’t even apologise and I ignored you for so long and I’m really sorry like honestly I just-“
“It’s okay, Kier!” he repeated, sounding a little more irritable this time. He glanced over his shoulder at the door where, through the window, I could see the faint silhouettes of my asshole-best-friends. Fucking cunts the lot of them. “Now can I go?”
I felt my heart sink as I looked at him; did he hate me? You’d really think it right now… I didn’t want him to hate me, in fact I wanted the exact opposite… I think. He couldn’t hate me! If he hated me then he wouldn’t like me anymore and we couldn’t go out… NOT THAT I WANT TO. Or do I? No I don’t…I can’t…but…I think maybe…quite possibly… I’m in real deep shit aren’t I?
“Yeah,” my voice fell to a whisper, “but…does this mean you forgive me?”
“Kier,” he laughed, “I was never annoyed with you in the first place.”
“But…but you were so…” I trailed off, confusion evident in my voice.
“I was annoyed at myself for liking you so much, I was never annoyed at you,” he shrugged as he jumped down from the stage and stood facing me. I repeated his actions and stood closer to him, there was barely an inch between us. “I could never be annoyed at you,” he mumbled to himself, his cheeks tinting pink.
I couldn’t help but laugh at him, he was so adorable. Like…no not adorable… yes adorable; how could I have been so…in denial about this for so long? How could I have gone this long hurting him? Not even these past three months, but before then…when he liked me and I was too much of an idiot to realise.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out again, feeling my own cheeks heat up. He smiled up at me, his eyes smiling with his lips.
“It’s okay, stop apologising,” he giggled and looked over at the door again. I knew for a fact that Shane was standing there, either really happy that we were talking or really pissed off that he’d forgiven me so quickly.
“Sorry,” I couldn’t help but say. It was a habit of mine, but what can you do? We stood in silence for a few moments longer, neither of us really knowing what to say.
“I’m…I should go,” he sighed eventually, not even waiting for my reply before he turned around and began to walk to the door.
“Drew, wait a minute,” I repeated my words from earlier as I quickly strode towards him. Once he’d turned around fully, I crashed my lips to his which I’m sure took him off guard; hell it took me off guard. I felt him tense up beside me before relaxing quickly again and kissing me back, my arms wound around his waist, pulling him tighter. “wouldyougooutwithme?” I asked quickly before I’d even pulled away from him properly. Wait….did I seriously just ask him that?
“Drew, wait a minute!” I called, darting out to grab his wrist to stop him from leaving. I really hope I don’t regret this. He turned around to look at me, his expression a mixture of both fear and sadness, a bit of confusion in there too; but do you really blame him? He rose an eyebrow at me, silently telling me to go on with what I wanted to say.
I hesitated before speaking again, “I-I’m sorry,” I stammered, my muscles relaxing as the words left my lips. My grip around Drew’s wrist didn’t loosen though, he’d run away otherwise and I really needed him to hear me out.
I bit down on my lip, searching his face for any kind of rejection before I continued. “I’m so sorry Drew, I shouldn’t have said what I did and I-“
“It’s okay,” he mumbled, cutting me off as his gaze fell to the floor, “it wasn’t your fault. Can I go now?”
My fingers tightened around his wrist instinctively and I shook my head. I tugged on his arm and pulled him back over to the stage so we could sit down. I really really needed to explain myself, didn’t I? I don’t really know what to explain though I mean I didn’t really know I’d done anything that bad until Laurence and Shane and Kevin pointed it out.
Once we were both sitting down and he had all his attention on me, I launched right into my apology; “I’m so sorry Drew! I didn’t mean for you to get hurt so badly and I was drunk and I led you on and I broke your heart and I didn’t even apologise and I ignored you for so long and I’m really sorry like honestly I just-“
“It’s okay, Kier!” he repeated, sounding a little more irritable this time. He glanced over his shoulder at the door where, through the window, I could see the faint silhouettes of my asshole-best-friends. Fucking cunts the lot of them. “Now can I go?”
I felt my heart sink as I looked at him; did he hate me? You’d really think it right now… I didn’t want him to hate me, in fact I wanted the exact opposite… I think. He couldn’t hate me! If he hated me then he wouldn’t like me anymore and we couldn’t go out… NOT THAT I WANT TO. Or do I? No I don’t…I can’t…but…I think maybe…quite possibly… I’m in real deep shit aren’t I?
“Yeah,” my voice fell to a whisper, “but…does this mean you forgive me?”
“Kier,” he laughed, “I was never annoyed with you in the first place.”
“But…but you were so…” I trailed off, confusion evident in my voice.
“I was annoyed at myself for liking you so much, I was never annoyed at you,” he shrugged as he jumped down from the stage and stood facing me. I repeated his actions and stood closer to him, there was barely an inch between us. “I could never be annoyed at you,” he mumbled to himself, his cheeks tinting pink.
I couldn’t help but laugh at him, he was so adorable. Like…no not adorable… yes adorable; how could I have been so…in denial about this for so long? How could I have gone this long hurting him? Not even these past three months, but before then…when he liked me and I was too much of an idiot to realise.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out again, feeling my own cheeks heat up. He smiled up at me, his eyes smiling with his lips.
“It’s okay, stop apologising,” he giggled and looked over at the door again. I knew for a fact that Shane was standing there, either really happy that we were talking or really pissed off that he’d forgiven me so quickly.
“Sorry,” I couldn’t help but say. It was a habit of mine, but what can you do? We stood in silence for a few moments longer, neither of us really knowing what to say.
“I’m…I should go,” he sighed eventually, not even waiting for my reply before he turned around and began to walk to the door.
“Drew, wait a minute,” I repeated my words from earlier as I quickly strode towards him. Once he’d turned around fully, I crashed my lips to his which I’m sure took him off guard; hell it took me off guard. I felt him tense up beside me before relaxing quickly again and kissing me back, my arms wound around his waist, pulling him tighter. “wouldyougooutwithme?” I asked quickly before I’d even pulled away from him properly. Wait….did I seriously just ask him that?
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yAYI'm sorry it's so rushed and bad :c but yeah akjdfhaskjdf
title - Sleeping With Sirens