When Night Breaks

I should have known Jay Reese wasn’t his real name, but the truth is, it never crossed my mind. So he was born Jason Hite, and must have reinvented his identity when he ventured out on his own. I watched as his mother examined him from head to toe, taking in every detail of the son she left behind so many years ago.

“Come in, sit down,” She insisted to both Jay and I. We took a seat on the sofa sectional, as she sat adjacent to us.

“I know this is very random, but I’ve always been curious about you.”

“How did you find me?”

“The internet. I hope you don’t mind us stopping by.” Jay was obviously nervous; something I did not see often.

“No, I’m glad to see you. Jason, you’ve grown into such a handsome man. How is your brother?” Jay looked down at his feet and sighed before looking at his mother.

“Jeremy actually passed away some years back.” The tears in Julia’s eyes swelled over her bottom lid as a single drop fell onto her cheek.

“Oh my God. What happened?”

“He died in a fire. It was in 2001.” I knew that even though it had been 12 years, it still was still very vivid for Jay, just as if it had happened yesterday.

“Oh my lord, he was still a child. I had no idea.” Julia wiped tears from her face and then smiled.

“Well, at least you’re here. You never did introduce me to this lovely young girl.” She turned to me and smiled.

“This is Samantha.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” She asked with a teasingly nice smile. The question brought my face to a burning red shade. Jay smiled a half smile and chuckled once.

“Yes, she is.” He glanced out of the corner of his eye at me.

“Well, Samantha, you are very beautiful.”

“Oh well thank you so much.” I was flattered.

We spent the next hour talking with Julia. Most of the conversations were of Jay asking about Julia’s life and asking about his father. Julia didn’t have much to offer him on that subject, however. She asked how Jay and I met, and we told her at a ball game. It was after a football game that Jay first began following me. We left that part out, though. As night approached, I noticed Jay becoming increasingly tense. He finally spoke up just as the sun was beginning to set.

“We really ought to be going. Thank you so much for allowing us in your home.” He was always so polite.

“Please come back sometime, Jason. Samantha, you’re welcome here too. I would love to get to know both of you.”

“Thank you.” We started out the door, as Julia reached out and touched Jay’s arm.

“Jason, I always loved you and Jeremy. I did what I had to do to make sure you guys had a better life. Please understand that.” She pleaded with him to forgive her; to forgive all the years they spent apart and for the decision she had made 24 years ago to give her sons away.

“I know. I’ll see you again, soon. Goodnight.” As the door to Julia’s small house closed, and as the night sky replaced the day, Jay’s eyes turned the remarkable white. He opened the car door for me as I sat down. He got in the drivers side and before driving off he placed his face in his hands.

“Jay, are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just overwhelming. Especially what she said at the end.”

“I know it’s got to be hard.” Truth was, I had no idea how hard. There would have been no way for me to know exactly how much stress and pain he must have been in.

“She said she gave us up so we could have a better life. She gave her two children to strangers so we could end up living a normal life. A normal life.” He kept repeating the phrase over and over. I simply sat and listened to him.

“How ironic, isn’t it? The one thing she wanted to give us is the one thing we never had. Hell, Jeremy didn’t have much of a life at all. But sometimes I wonder who’s better off, me or him? He didn’t deserve to die, but look at me. At least he didn’t have to end up like me.”

“Jay, there is nothing wrong with who you are.” I wanted so badly for him to understand that.

“We were better off staying with her. She could have never known this would happen to us, so it’s not her fault. But for years, I put part of the blame on her. If she had just toughed it out and been a mother,” he looked over at me with tears in his almost solid white eyes, “I would be normal.”

“You are normal enough for me, Jay.” He said nothing in return, but simply started the car and drove back to my apartment.

He dropped me off, thanking me continually for accompanying him on such a huge step. I could tell the night had taken its toll on him; he looked exhausted. I told him to go home and rest, although I knew he would probably spend the remainder of the evening contemplating and analyzing his life all over again.



I had class the next day, and although Lacey and I had patched things up, it still was different between us. I was sitting in my car when she pulled in behind me. I got out and headed to her Explorer. She unlocked the doors and allowed me to sit in the passenger seat.

“Too early to be here, huh?” I asked in an attempt to make conversation.

“Way too early.”

“You wanna do something this weekend? Just me and you. I think we have some catching up to do.”

“That’d be nice. I would really love to know more about this Jay guy. That’s a huge part of your life that you’ve kept from me.” I knew that Lacey still held a grudge for me keeping Jay from her.

“I know. I want you to know everything, and I’ll tell everything that I can.” It would be unrealistic for me to disclose everything about Jay; I had made a promise to him. But I did want Lacey to trust me again.

“Let’s get all dressed up and go to City Circle. We can chill at my place before and talk.” City Circle was part of the downtown district of Elliott Springs. There were restaurants, boutiques, and outdoor concerts. It was a social site for the town, and it held a certain elegance and class. It was one of the only places in Elliott Springs were it was acceptable to wear a dress and some heels without getting looked at strangely.

“Alright, sounds good. I can do your makeup before we leave. It’s been such a long time I’ve had anywhere fancy to go,” Lacey liked my suggestion of City Circle and it was agreed upon that we would meet at my house at 5:00 on Friday.



“How was school this week?” I asked Lacey as she threw her makeup bag down on my bed.

“It’s school. Andrea in my psychology class is pregnant. We think it’s Lucas’.”

“No way! Lucas Grogin?” It was typical for Lacey and I to disclose all the latest gossip we’ve heard through out the week.

“Yes! Crazy huh? So, Jay, tell me about him,” She said as she raided my closet. She loved picking out my clothes for me, because she was huge on fashion.

“No, that’d be too cold for tonight,” I said in regards to a sleeveless dress, “What all you want to know?”

“How old is? Cause he sure as heck is older than us.”

“He’s 24.”

“24?!”

“That’s only 4 years!” Back in high school, four years would have been a huge difference. But at 20, it didn’t seem all that far apart.

“Okay true. Is a good kisser?”

“I don’t know,” I laughed, “we haven’t kissed yet.”

“Ugh. Okay, what’s his last name? Where’s he from? Just give me the basics!”

“His last name is Reese, he’s from Chicago originally but moved here from New York. He was in foster care all his life, and his brother died when he was 12. And he’s incredibly kind.” Things went from gossiping girls to deep feelings really fast.

“So he’s good to you?”

“Very good. He’s very closed off though. He’s seen a lot of pain. He’s sorta mysterious.”

“Do you love him?” Lacey stopped flipping through my closet and turned completely around to face me.

“I don’t know, Lace. Maybe.” I had to be honest with her. I had never been in love, minus a few serious boyfriends in high school, but I couldn’t honestly classify them as love.

“Does he love you?” It was a question I was prepared to answer.

“I’d like to think he does.”

“Well, enough mushy crap. Let’s go have fun!” Lacey threw a long sleeved purple dress at me. It was a chiffon style with a brown belt around the waist. I had bought it for a wedding a few years back and hadn’t worn it since. I put it on with a pair of brown wedges with flowers down the front strap. Lacey, the self proclaimed makeup guru, did a nice purple smokey eye and curled my hair.

“Wow, you did a great job. Thanks Lace. I haven’t gotten this dressed up since prom.” We bought laughed.

“Well, tonight’s a celebration!”

“Of what?” I asked.

“Of life!” With that, we headed out to City Circle to have a much needed night together.



It was almost midnight when Lacey took me back to my apartment. I offered to let her crash at my place, but she said she was going to go home and chill with her brother who was in for the weekend. I told her bye and entered my apartment. It was dead quiet, until I stepped into my bedroom.

I heard soft music playing from outside. Out on the balcony, I could see a warm glow. It was as if it was lit up over the city. I laid my purse down on the bed and walked over to the door. As I opened it, the music became louder. Jay was standing, leaned against the balcony railing. The melodic sound filled my ears as Jay walked over to me.

He looked so handsome. He was dressed in a white button up shirt, with a purple tie that ironically matched my dress. His black dress pants and dress shoes were extremely dashing. The balcony rail was lined with a dozen tea light candles, all flickering against the black night sky. The balcony floor had pink rose petals scattered on it, also with a few candles arranged in a perfect design.

“Jay, what is this?” I asked, admiring how beautiful it all looked.

“It’s a thank you.”

“For what?”

“For coming with me to my mom’s.” He stepped closer, wrapping his hand around my waist. “And for just being so amazing.”

“This is all so beautiful, you didn’t have to do this.” I smiled, despite me telling him it was all unnecessary.

“I can’t give you much, Samantha. I can’t take you to bonfires, or movies. I can’t hang out with all your friends. But I promise that whatever I can give you, I will always give 100%.”

“I don’t need all those things, Jay. Having you is enough.” He pulled me in closer as the musical beauty filled the spaces between us.

I am at ease in the arms of a woman. Although now, most of my days I spend alone.

“You make me feel so alive. I have never felt that before.” His eyes, although white, still held such a deep fire.

A thousand miles from the place I was born. But when she wakes me, she takes me back home.

“You make me so happy, Jay.” We began to sway with the music. Each lyrics, I knew, held such a deep meaning for him. I knew the song was one he picked especially for tonight.

“I don’t see how you could ever find it in your heart to be with someone like me.”

Now, most days, I spend like a child, who's afraid of ghosts in my mind.

“How could I not want to be with you? You are such a kind and gentle person, and you’ve made me for the first time ever, feel loved.” I wasn’t afraid anymore to use that word. Love. I looked for a sign of fear in his eyes, a sign that he would retreat at the mention of it. But he didn’t.

I know, there aint nothing out there. I'm still afraid to turn on the lights.

“I’m so glad. Because that’s all I ever want you to feel. Because Samantha, I am so in love with you. Undeniably, uncontrollably, so in love with you.”

I am at ease in the arms of a woman.

“I love you too, Jay. So, so, much. I love you.” I meant it. Every syllable of the words, I meant. He stopped swaying with the music and peered deep into my eyes. His grip around my waist tightened slightly as he pulled me in closer. There was no space between us. He placed one hand at the base of my neck, behind my ear. He pulled my face in to his, as his lips met mine for the first time. The electricity pulsed through us both, as we held the kiss. It was such a deep, passionate kiss that held so much love. It sent my stomach into butterflies and my pulse to racing. It wasn’t a nervous feeling, but an exhilarating rush.

We pulled away from the kiss, and I rested my head on his chest. We began to dance again, as the candles flickered around us. I peered up to the clear sky; the moon was shining down bright, and I felt so at peace. He kept me at a close distance from himself, never once letting his hold loosen. I could have stayed on that balcony forever. And I know so could he. Even after the music had stopped, we stayed pressed tightly against each other, taking in every second of the love-filled evening.