A Nightmare? Or a Dream...?

When I see who is next to my casket at this time... I want to lose it.

The first person to reach my lifeless body was my sweet boyfriend.
We loved each other so much. It was indescribable.
He had saved me from my depression and cutting over the summer.
I was so unhappy. I just couldn't bare it.
I prayed so hard for God to send me someone that will love me.
This was after my 2nd mother had abandoned me.
I had never been in so much pain before...
My sweetheart made me so happy.
He loved me more than any guy ever had
He was my heart.
He has almost been in tears before because of how worried he was about me.
When he saw my cuts, he nearly lost it.
Now he truly had to let go.
I always told him:
You can live without me. But I can't live without you.
He is my heart.
And I am his.
He cries and cries until his face is soaked
My precious baby placed a flower in my hands
As he starred at my dead body
I stood next to him crying harder than I have yet
He gently takes my lifeless face in his hands and kisses me one last time before he has to say goodbye.
I feel my heart shatter.
I lose it
What have I done to this precious boy?
He doesn't deserve to suffer just because I did.
He meant everything to me... And then I hurt him like this
I cry even more as he kisses me one last time
I longed for him to hold me
I held onto his hand as long as I could before he had to leave my body.
I felt as if I died again when I had to let go.
"no!!!" I cry.
"no! Baby! I love you! I'm so sorry! I love you so much!!! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Don't leave me!!! Don't! Don't leave me!! NO!!"
I scream and scream
But like it was when I was alive,
No one heard me.
I watched my baby go....
That was the hardest thing for me to do.
We were only in high school
But we wanted to get married and have a family and share a life together.
Pursue our dreams as famous singers and live happily ever after.
Now these plans were over.
I longed for him to come back to me..
But he couldn't.
I hope he knows how much I love him.