Shaken and Stirred

The two women gaped at each other.The older women's green eyes seemed to grow gentler every second. Her blond gray hair fell in her eyes as she reached out to touch her child as if she was making sure it wasn’t a dream. Raven flinched away and looked down.

“How…how are you?” The woman asked,

“Fine, Janet.” Raven hissed. Janet sighed and laughed a bit,

“You still haven’t forgiven me, huh?” Raven sighed and turned around, trying to look for her friends, “I’ve missed you a lot.”

“That’s good.” Raven said, putting her hand on the cart, trying to walk away.

“Raven, please don’t walk away from me. I haven’t heard a single thing from you in seven years.”

“Well that’s okay,” She was walking away when a single phrase stopped her dead in her tracks,

“Pete misses you and wonders where you’ve been.” Raven turned around and her jade eyes widened with horror, “He says he loves you, and will be awaiting your return. Hunny, you two are getting married, you have go back.” Raven took a step back in disgust. It wasn’t that she was disgusted to look at her; she was disgusted by the thought of her mom. I hadn’t seen her in seven years and yet she was talking to Pete behind her back.

“The sentiment is not reciprocated.” Raven jeered at her mother. Her green eyes were looking for a savior. She knew every second she stayed longer, the more of a chance that her mother would tell Pete.

“Raven, baby. I know what happened was hard, but…”

“Did you know he hit me?” Raven asked quietly. Her mother looked down, letting her dulling hair fall into her eyes, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“He said it was an accident the first time.” Janet said, trying to cover up the wrong doings of that man. Raven glared insanely,

“An accident! He hit me mom! He hit me and…he raped me,” Raven whispered at Janet. Janet sighed and walked to her daughter cupping her cheek.

“Your father hit me too.”

“LIES!” Raven screamed, feeling the familiar heat of tears behind her sockets. Janet nodded softly and smiled,

“And we were perfectly happy.”

“He would never hit you, mom. He loved you. He loved you more than anything in the world.” Her eyes saw Ray and she looked at him helplessly. He walked over slowly and smiled,

“Problem?” He asked. Janet jumped a bit as Raven latched onto him, whispering her sweet thanks,

“No, no problem, Ray. Let’s find the guys and go. We’ve got to be getting to the next show soon.”

“Raven…” Janet said softly. Raven looked at her and sighed hard, “Raven, I’m really sorry I put you through that.” She walked away as Janet called to you, “Did you ever find him? The boy you fell in love with?”

“Yes, mom.” Ray looked at Janet with wide eyes as they walked out of the Wal-Mart. She got on the R.V. and took a deep breath as she sat down. The boys piled on and she tried to smile, but she was too shaken up to do so.

“Hey!” Mikey started, “What’s the problem. You didn’t get anything.” Raven looked at her feet and laughed,

“I didn’t want anything.”

“Good thing I got skittles and cookies!” Frank exclaimed, sitting next to Raven. She gave a small smile, and hugged her body close. The boys noticed her extreme change and their attitudes changed. Gerard was the last one on the bus, his head deep into his new comic book. He heard the silence and looked up,

“Ras? You okay?” She nodded and stood up,

“I’m just a bit exhausted.” Raven answered, walking back to the bed. She closed the door and grabbed the nearest pillow, wiping away her tears. She closed her eyes and tried to forget the things she learned.

“RAS!” Someone screamed to her, she sat up quickly and looked around.

“What? What?” Raven muttered, confused and scared. The R.V. was stopped and night fell upon them.

“We’re here.” Frank said, holding his hand out to her. She smiled and took it,

“Aright, um…set up and do everything we usual do.”

“You got it!” Frank said. Raven rubbed her eyes and put her fingers through her brown hair. She stretched and looked around. Nobody was on the bus, probably all where in there getting ready. Raven wasn’t aloud in the dressing rooms, the smoke and the drinking. She sighed and got off the bus taking a deep breath into the air. The marquee lights lit up the town. She walked in the doors and took a seat backstage, closing her eyes and crossing her legs.

“Ras…” Gerard whispered. She looked at him and stood up. She smiled and hugged him,

“Aren’t you supposed to be down in the dressing room?” Raven asked. Gerard nodded and sighed hard. He looked nervous, and Raven cocked her head to the side, “Nervous?”

“No, not about the show. I’m excited about that…well I was wondering…if you would wear this again.” He asked showing her silver promise ring. Raven’s jade eyes opened widely and she nodded like a child.

“I would love too, Ardy…” He laughed and put the ring on her finger,

“Nobody has called me that in…”

“Nine years.” Raven whispered for him. They looked at each other, before she pushed him away a bit, “Now get ready…and do put a little mascara on. I always think you look a bit sexier with it.” Gerard laughed and walked back stage. Once door closed, his smile dropped as he forgot to as what happened in the Wal-mart earlier. The silence in her face and the sadness in her eyes scared him. He turned around to go ask her when Mikey reached out and hit him on the head.

“When she’s ready to talk about it. She’ll talk about it, dummy. Don’t you know anything about girls yet?” Mikey asked, dragging Gerard to the dressing rooms.

“How…did you know?”

“I’m your brother remember. I know plenty of stuff about you I probably shouldn’t.” Gerard laughed and nodded.

Raven sat backstage alone, again. She was fingering around with her ring, and for some reason she felt whole and a bit better. But she couldn’t shake what her mother said,

“Your father hit me too.” Raven screamed and stood up, angry, angry at her mother for not telling her sooner, angry at her father if it was true, angry at the fact men think they have to hit people to get them to do things, angry that this nightmare wasn’t over for her, angry that—

“Hey? You okay, Ras?” Bob asked, walking over to his drum kit. She looked at him and nodded taking a deep breath. She answered,

“Yah, just getting some frustrations out.” Bob nodded and did his pre-warm up ritual. He messed up his hair a bit, bit his lip and danced in his chair. Raven watched him and laughed, “How long have you been doing that?”

“Ever since I started to play drums.” He answered, back. The rest of the guys came on stage. Raven walked up to each and every one of them, hugging them. That was her pre-show ritual. Her last and final hug was always Gerard. Frank sighed and muttered,

“Why do you guys always have to be so mushy?” Raven stuck her tongue out at him. She drew Gerard close, for the first time and kissed him. The boys gagged and sighed hard. She laughed and waved,

“Have a good show! I’ll be in the audience. Don’t mess up.”

“Well thank you for being miss. Positive.” Mikey said, sighing hard. She rolled her eyes and walked off of stage. She stood, waiting for the first riff to come to life in her ears. This was Raven’s favorite part of the show. The begging, because nobody knew what they were going to do. Nobody knew if it was going to be a bomb or a hit. Nobody knew a damn thing. That’s what she liked about it, the surprise.

“Hey, Raven.” Someone whispered in her ears. Raven turned around with a big smile, and then it plummeted.