Kill or Be Killed

We all climb into the truck, which Rick used to get the others to get back to the camp, from the city filled with walkers. We learn that T-Dog and Glen will be coming with us, we also add to the plan, we need to get the bag Rick dropped, which is filled of weapons.

“What’s she doing here?” T-Dog questions, confused, looking at me.

Daryl gets in his face, and defensively snarls, “She is coming. You gotta problem with that?”

The drive is silent as we head to the city. I sit next to Daryl, I have my hand placed firmly placed on his knee. I take a few deep breathes, as I try to claim myself. I know I need to get my nerves under control, I need to prepare myself, so I will be helpful in this rescue mission. I over hear Daryl snarling to T-Dog, a comment along the lines of, Merle better be okay.

I inhale a shaky breathe in as Glen stops the vehicle, and orders we walk from here. We all get into action mode, hastily making our way to the department store, following Glen’s orders. He is in charge at this stage, as he knows this area, like the back of his hand.

Finally we arrive in the department store. I follow behind Daryl, who occasionally looks over his shoulder at me, to check on me, which I reply with a nod. We all quietly walk around the clothes racks to spot a walker. Daryl quickly takes her out with his cross bow, thankfully, the quietness of the cross bow, wont draw the attention of other walkers.

We run up the flights of stairs to the roof, my heart is pounding against my ribcage and feel a bit light headed. T-Dog cuts the chain with Dale’s chain cutters, which is a good sign; means the walkers haven’t had access to the foot. Daryl kicks open the door, and is the first one to get through the door on to roof, calling Merle’s name.

I cover my mouth with my hand in shock, and start to feel nauseous. There are handcuffs hanging next to a hacksaw, and a severed hand where Merle was. I cannot bring myself to look at the handcuffs hanging from the pipe covered in blood. We are all shocked looking at the scene before us.

I cannot stop myself, I turn away and lean one hand against wall, next to the door we just exited. I lean over, unable to stop myself from vomiting. All my breakfast coming back up, mixed with the fall taste of acid. Glen is quickly at my side, running my back, “You okay, Rach?”

I nob my head, wiping my mouth with my shirt. “Yeah,” I whisper softly.

I can see out of the corner of my eye, Daryl growling in anger and pointing his cross bow at T-dog. I continue to put my weight on my hand, as I watch the scene unfold. Glen stands by my side, making sure I am OK. Rick raises his gun, pointing it at Daryl. Everyone remains silent, waiting to see what Daryl does.

Daryl puts on his cross bow down, as does Rick with his gun. He asks T-Dog for a rag which T-Dog gives him and hands it over. I watch in disgust as Daryl picks the hand off the ground and puts it in the rag.

Sighing heavily, I begin to feel nauseous again, I mumble, “Oh dear god.”

“Aint that a bitch,” he exclaims, wrapping the hand up.

He walks over to Glen and I, placing the hand within Glen’s back pack. I feel for Glen, seeing the disturbed look on his face. Leaning down to me, he places a hand on my face. “You okay babe?” he questions me.

“Must of been something I ate this morning,” I lie, with a small smile. Daryl follows the blood trail, and we all do the same, no one saying a thing. T-Dog makes sure to grab Dale’s tools, before following in tow.

Glen curses under his breathe as trips over one of the pipes. I cannot stop myself from blurting out cheekily, “Need a hand, mate?”

Rolling his eyes, he replies not impressed, “Haha! Very funny, Rach.”

I laugh at my only own joke loudly, which also cracks a small smile on Rick’s face. The trail leads us across the roof, to the opposite side of the roof, to another stair way. Looking over his shoulder, Daryl orders, “Rach, get behind me.”

I nob my head, and do as i’m instructed. I lick my lips, knowing that only Rick and Daryl are armed. I stand close behind Daryl, he leads us down the stairs, calling out Merle’s name. My heart skips a beat, I am worried some walkers will hear it, however I’m not about to tell Daryl to shut up.

“Merle! You in here?” Daryl bellows out.

I come to a halt, whilst we walk through an office. I walker stumbles around, however it doesn’t notice us. Daryl doesn’t hesitate to shoot the walker with his cross bow. We continue walking through offices, when we reach the reception desk there are ‘dead’ walkers on the ground.

“He managed to take out these two son of a bitches, with one hand,” Daryl claims proudly, with a smug smile playing on his lips.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, the foul scent hitting my nostrils., causing me to gag. I still find it difficult to accept the reality of walkers over taking the world. Being out in the forest, away from the city, I sometimes forget about the chaos going on elsewhere.

“Any man can pass out from blood loss. No matter how tough he is,” Rick exclaims, as Daryl talks about how tough Merle is.

“Merle?!” Daryl continues to call out, while we follow the blood to a kitchen.

Rick attempts to hush him, by saying, “We aren’t alone here. Remember?”

“Screw that,” Daryl replies, not bothered about the walkers, “He could be bleeding out, you said so yourself.”

I constantly look over my shoulder, keeping an eye out for unwanted visitors. We come across a gas burner element, still on with an iron steak weight, covered in burnt skin. I stand next to Daryl and Rick, as they observe the iron steak weight.

“He must have used it, to cauterise the stump. To prevent further blood loss,” I say looking at it, impressed with Merle’s actions.

“Told ya, he’s tough. No one can kill Merle, but Merle,” Daryl exclaims, impressed with his brother.

I look over at him and give him a small smile, which he returns back at me. I reach out and grab his hand for reassurance. “It means he is still out there, and not bleeding out,” I whisper to him.

“But he has still lost a lot of blood,” Rick cuts in, ruining my supportive Daryl moment.

“Didn’t stop him from busting out of this death trap,” Daryl snarls back, finding a smashed window.

“He left the building, why the hell would he do that?” Glen questions, astonished.

“Why wouldn’t he? He is out there alone, doing what he’s gotta do,” Daryl answers Glen.

T-Dog makes a remark about Merle’s odds out there, alone and with a lot of blood loss. I quickly stand in front of Daryl, placing my hand on his chest. “It’s not worth it,” I beg him, knowing this isn’t the time or place, for them to get in an argument.

“No worse than being hand cuffed, by you sorry pricks,” He fires back at T-Dog.

Daryl looks down at me, he takes a deep breathe in attempt to calm himself. Daryl looks over at Rick, saying that he couldn’t kill Merle, so no dumb bastards could, referring the walkers. He moves away from me, as things begin to get heated.

“I’m gonna go get him,” Daryl snarls at Rick.

Rick pushes Daryl back, and tells him, “Daryl wait!”

“Get your hands off me! You can’t stop me!” Daryl yells out him, getting in Rick’s face.

“I don’t blame you because he is family, I went through hell and back for my family. I know exactly how you feel. He can’t get far with that injury, we’ll help you look a few blocks around, but only if we keep a level head,” Rick explains calmly.

“I can do that,” Daryl agrees, liking the odds of increased help.

“Only if we get those guns first, I’m not strolling the street with my good intentions,” T-Dog agrees to help with the search on his condition. Which we all agree, Daryl and Rick, are the only ones armed. We decide to head onto one of the offices to make a plan, out of sight from any walkers.

As we are walking out of the kitchen, Rick grabs ahold of my arm, stopping me from walking. I stop, and look up at him confused, unsure what he is after. Turning his back to the door, he looks over his shoulder quickly before he asks me, “Does he know?”

“Know what?” I ask him, confused by his question.

“Lori told me you asked Andrea, to get you a pregnancy test. When they went to the city,” he informs me, making my heart rate increase.

“She told you?” I whisper harshly, feeling betrayed, knowing that Andrea must have told her. I haven’t said a word to anyone, not even Amy, who has become my best friend.

“That’s not the point. Are you pregnant?” Ricks enquires, getting straight from the point.

“Yeah, are you pregnant?” Daryl demands loudly, causing both Rick and I, to look at over at him. I squeeze my eyes shut, I didn’t want to have this conversation yet, especially in this situation.

I can’t found any words, all I can do, is stare at Daryl. He swears loudly, before marching over to me. He grabs my face in his hands, before looking me directly in the eye as he repeats the questions.

“Yes,” I choke out, barely above a whisper.