‹ Prequel: Crowded Room
Sequel: Heaven Can Wait ›
Thinking of Winter
Liam
After waking up in the hospital,I remained in the same position i woke up in. Staring up at the ceiling as the nurses did what they needed too. I didn't want to be here,I didn't even want to be alive.
As the days passed,the anger inside me began to grow until it just explode. clambering from the bed,I started throwing things and screaming my hatred for Jarrek--for Jace. For hurting me just as I fell to my knees and lifted my head. tears streaming down my face as they both stared at me from the door way. Their eyes wide.
"What did I ever do?" I choked out,gripping the hospital gown "What did i do to deserve to be hurt this way..was I..was I wrong for loving you...wanting to make you happy?" I asked,staring down at the ground as I continued to cry "You should have left me to die..." I whispered before slowly standing up
"it's what you two wanted huh!? You didn't care about my own feelings,my own thoughts on any damn thing. You just got what you wanted from me and ran! Fuck me right! I don't matter! I never mattered to any of you!" I yelled.
"Liam wait! that's not true!" Jace exclaimed,running towards me but I shoved him away angrily.
"Bullshit! If i mattered to you! even just a little. you never would have done what you did to me! and you!" I yelled,laying my eyes on Jarrek before walking up to him and punching him right in the face,listing to the solid crack as I broke his nose ''That's for using me! you sick pathetic piece of shit! I was falling for you! I was HAPPY and every thing was just pity! " I yelled as Jarrek stumbled away,blood pouring down his nose as he stared at me.
"Get the fuck out of my sight and I better not see you around me or MY club again!" I yelled,throwing a large pot at him as he ran.
turning to Jace who was across the room,staring at me. "and you Jace...ooooh god damn you Jace. I gave up everything to be with you. I quit school for you,even vists with my own father unless i was at the club! I did so much for you and you just rip my heart out,stomp on it a few times and then leave." I yelled.
"Liam please! I do love you! what I did was a mistake and I'm sorry!" he yelled,watching me carefully.
"Sorry doesn't cut it! How can I believe anything you say after what you've done to me! My father died Jace! I didn't have any one except you! I needed you there to help take care of me. to show me that you honestly truly loved me and you just left. Like I didn't even matter. What was so good in Jersey that you had to leave me huh Jace? what the hell was it!?" I yelled.
Jace stared at me before looking down at his feet 'Nothing..there was nothing there for me..you weren't yourself and I was wrong to do what I did...it ate at me every single day I was gone" he whispered. My anger began to fade and I leaned against the bed for support,panting heavily.
"I loved you Jace...being with you made me happy. I felt whole and complete,I felt strong. the death of my own mother didn't haunt me anymore because I knew..I knew that if i was to roll over,you'd put your arms around me and I would feel safe."I cried,falling to my knees but Jace hurried across and caught me. setting me on the bed before moving away but I stopped him,grabbing his hand.
"no..please..Please Jace..." i whispered and just held his hand. staring at it as I ran my fingers over it like someone who can see for the first time "Just...don't move.." I said softly and reached out for his other hand,doing the same.
Jace just stood there,remaining quiet as I held his hands. I didn't want him speaking or even moving. I needed the silence and calm for the moment until I looked up at him "Do you really love me Jace?" I asked softly,searching his eyes as I awaited an answer that would alone-chose my own fate.
As the days passed,the anger inside me began to grow until it just explode. clambering from the bed,I started throwing things and screaming my hatred for Jarrek--for Jace. For hurting me just as I fell to my knees and lifted my head. tears streaming down my face as they both stared at me from the door way. Their eyes wide.
"What did I ever do?" I choked out,gripping the hospital gown "What did i do to deserve to be hurt this way..was I..was I wrong for loving you...wanting to make you happy?" I asked,staring down at the ground as I continued to cry "You should have left me to die..." I whispered before slowly standing up
"it's what you two wanted huh!? You didn't care about my own feelings,my own thoughts on any damn thing. You just got what you wanted from me and ran! Fuck me right! I don't matter! I never mattered to any of you!" I yelled.
"Liam wait! that's not true!" Jace exclaimed,running towards me but I shoved him away angrily.
"Bullshit! If i mattered to you! even just a little. you never would have done what you did to me! and you!" I yelled,laying my eyes on Jarrek before walking up to him and punching him right in the face,listing to the solid crack as I broke his nose ''That's for using me! you sick pathetic piece of shit! I was falling for you! I was HAPPY and every thing was just pity! " I yelled as Jarrek stumbled away,blood pouring down his nose as he stared at me.
"Get the fuck out of my sight and I better not see you around me or MY club again!" I yelled,throwing a large pot at him as he ran.
turning to Jace who was across the room,staring at me. "and you Jace...ooooh god damn you Jace. I gave up everything to be with you. I quit school for you,even vists with my own father unless i was at the club! I did so much for you and you just rip my heart out,stomp on it a few times and then leave." I yelled.
"Liam please! I do love you! what I did was a mistake and I'm sorry!" he yelled,watching me carefully.
"Sorry doesn't cut it! How can I believe anything you say after what you've done to me! My father died Jace! I didn't have any one except you! I needed you there to help take care of me. to show me that you honestly truly loved me and you just left. Like I didn't even matter. What was so good in Jersey that you had to leave me huh Jace? what the hell was it!?" I yelled.
Jace stared at me before looking down at his feet 'Nothing..there was nothing there for me..you weren't yourself and I was wrong to do what I did...it ate at me every single day I was gone" he whispered. My anger began to fade and I leaned against the bed for support,panting heavily.
"I loved you Jace...being with you made me happy. I felt whole and complete,I felt strong. the death of my own mother didn't haunt me anymore because I knew..I knew that if i was to roll over,you'd put your arms around me and I would feel safe."I cried,falling to my knees but Jace hurried across and caught me. setting me on the bed before moving away but I stopped him,grabbing his hand.
"no..please..Please Jace..." i whispered and just held his hand. staring at it as I ran my fingers over it like someone who can see for the first time "Just...don't move.." I said softly and reached out for his other hand,doing the same.
Jace just stood there,remaining quiet as I held his hands. I didn't want him speaking or even moving. I needed the silence and calm for the moment until I looked up at him "Do you really love me Jace?" I asked softly,searching his eyes as I awaited an answer that would alone-chose my own fate.