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Sequel: Heaven Can Wait ›
Thinking of Winter
Jace
I awoke the next morning, feeling more relaxed than ever. That all changed when I found that Liam was missing. I started having a panic attack and immediately got dressed. Running out the door and locking it behind me, I searched for Zeth.
It took nearly two hours to find him, and when he saw me, he immediately grabbed my shoulders. "Jace, what's going on?"
Through heavy pants, I said, "Liam's missing. There was no note, or any sign of a break in." I could feel my panting pick up as the attack when full force. Paulie then showed up, looking at me with worry.
"What's going on?" he asked, causing Zeth to look at him. I started ringing my hands as the panic attack went on, the world around me getting more disoriented.
"Liam's missing and because of it, Jace is having a panic attack," Zeth said. "It happened when our parents died, and it took a good two or three hours to get him out of it. So, please keep him occupied as much as possible. I've got to find him, otherwise this could turn into something far worse than a couple hour panic attack."
At that, Zeth ran off and Paulie grabbed my hands and sat me down, and that was the last thing I recall before I blacked out.
Time Elapse
I awoke and had a huge headache. Paulie had apparently brought me home, causing another panic attack to start. "Got to get out of here. Must leave," I said, standing up, being immediately chased after by Paulie. He locked the door behind him and wrapped his arm around my waist, which for some reason, caused me to settle down.
"Stay like that," I said, gripping his hand. "It's comforting." Nodding, Paulie and I made our way out of the apartment and onto the darkened streets of New York. "Have you heard anything from Zeth?" I asked.
Shrugging his shoulders, Paulie replied, "He thinks he might have an idea as to where Liam was taken to, but it's a faint thing."
"It's better than nothing," I said, resting my head on Paulie's shoulder and let out a shaky sigh. "I hope Liam's okay."
"I'm sure he is," Paulie said, hugging me close. I knew Paulie was straight, but the looks that people were giving him seemed to make him a bit uncomfortable. Removing his hand, and putting a slight distance between us, I watched as he looked at me with a bit of confusion. "Everything alright?"
"I'd rather suffer a panic attack than make you uncomfortable," I said, walking on. "Plus, I think I just needed to know I had a shoulder to lean on, which I felt when you wrapped your arm around me. I should be okay now."
Nodding, Paulie and I started heading for the coffee shop on the next block over. When I looked up at him, he seemed deep in thought. I didn't want to interrupt him, so I looked forward and watched the lives of New Yorkers go on, not knowing the turmoil in which was rolling through me like waves.
Time Elapse -- Four Days
It's been days, and Zeth has barely scratched the surface of locating Liam. My panic attacks came and went, but as long as I physically felt Paulie and heard him talk, I was able to calm back down within five minutes or so.
I barely left the house, which was odd for me because I loved being out in the city, watching people busying themselves with whatever. It was just hard, now that I didn't have Liam by my side. Paulie was great company, but I wanted to be in the arms of the man who could make me happy, and Paulie wasn't him.
As the day turned to night, I still sat on the couch with my legs at my chest. I watched the shadows creep in and around me, wishing Liam would take form right in front of me with his arms wide open and his lopsided grin. I felt my eyes get heavy, and instantly fell asleep. I dreamed of the playing the night club piano in Central Park on Christmas, with Liam sitting next to with his lopsided grin.
It took nearly two hours to find him, and when he saw me, he immediately grabbed my shoulders. "Jace, what's going on?"
Through heavy pants, I said, "Liam's missing. There was no note, or any sign of a break in." I could feel my panting pick up as the attack when full force. Paulie then showed up, looking at me with worry.
"What's going on?" he asked, causing Zeth to look at him. I started ringing my hands as the panic attack went on, the world around me getting more disoriented.
"Liam's missing and because of it, Jace is having a panic attack," Zeth said. "It happened when our parents died, and it took a good two or three hours to get him out of it. So, please keep him occupied as much as possible. I've got to find him, otherwise this could turn into something far worse than a couple hour panic attack."
At that, Zeth ran off and Paulie grabbed my hands and sat me down, and that was the last thing I recall before I blacked out.
Time Elapse
I awoke and had a huge headache. Paulie had apparently brought me home, causing another panic attack to start. "Got to get out of here. Must leave," I said, standing up, being immediately chased after by Paulie. He locked the door behind him and wrapped his arm around my waist, which for some reason, caused me to settle down.
"Stay like that," I said, gripping his hand. "It's comforting." Nodding, Paulie and I made our way out of the apartment and onto the darkened streets of New York. "Have you heard anything from Zeth?" I asked.
Shrugging his shoulders, Paulie replied, "He thinks he might have an idea as to where Liam was taken to, but it's a faint thing."
"It's better than nothing," I said, resting my head on Paulie's shoulder and let out a shaky sigh. "I hope Liam's okay."
"I'm sure he is," Paulie said, hugging me close. I knew Paulie was straight, but the looks that people were giving him seemed to make him a bit uncomfortable. Removing his hand, and putting a slight distance between us, I watched as he looked at me with a bit of confusion. "Everything alright?"
"I'd rather suffer a panic attack than make you uncomfortable," I said, walking on. "Plus, I think I just needed to know I had a shoulder to lean on, which I felt when you wrapped your arm around me. I should be okay now."
Nodding, Paulie and I started heading for the coffee shop on the next block over. When I looked up at him, he seemed deep in thought. I didn't want to interrupt him, so I looked forward and watched the lives of New Yorkers go on, not knowing the turmoil in which was rolling through me like waves.
Time Elapse -- Four Days
It's been days, and Zeth has barely scratched the surface of locating Liam. My panic attacks came and went, but as long as I physically felt Paulie and heard him talk, I was able to calm back down within five minutes or so.
I barely left the house, which was odd for me because I loved being out in the city, watching people busying themselves with whatever. It was just hard, now that I didn't have Liam by my side. Paulie was great company, but I wanted to be in the arms of the man who could make me happy, and Paulie wasn't him.
As the day turned to night, I still sat on the couch with my legs at my chest. I watched the shadows creep in and around me, wishing Liam would take form right in front of me with his arms wide open and his lopsided grin. I felt my eyes get heavy, and instantly fell asleep. I dreamed of the playing the night club piano in Central Park on Christmas, with Liam sitting next to with his lopsided grin.