Thinking of Winter

I was leaning against the wall of a run down building, Zeth pacing in front of me. "I was an idiot," I whispered, messing with a tear in my sleeve.

"I think we've covered that about four times already," Zeth said, sitting down across from me, the tips of our shoes touching. "You remember the two of us singing Mr. Jones on Christmas ten years ago? Mom and Dad had burned dinner and we were trying to cheer them up."

"I remember as if it were yesterday," I said, a smile appearing on my face as I thought about. "I was down at the New Amsterdam staring at this yellow-haired girl."

"Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation with this black-haired flamenco dancer," he sang, a laugh bubbling to the surface.

Grabbing his hands, we stood up and joined together. "She dances while his father plays guitar. She's suddenly beautiful. We all want something beautiful. I wish I was beautiful. So come dance this silence down through the morning. Cut Maria! Show me some of them Spanish dances. Pass me a bottle, Mr. Jones."

We danced around stupidly for a while and then I stopped, staring at Zeth with tear filled eyes. "What? Jace, what's wrong?" I stared at him for a long moment before he realized why I stopped.

In unison, both of our voices cracking, we sang, "Believe in me. Help me believe in anything. I want to be someone who believes."

"Let's get you home, little brother," he said, sniffling a bit. Wrapping his arms around my shoulders, we headed for the temporary car he had. I hooked my fingers with his and tried my best not to think about the death of our parents.

Jarrek -- Time Elapse -- One Week

I woke up one morning, Liam still asleep. Lightly tracing my fingers down his sculpted face, I smiled and then got out of bed. Throwing on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, I walked out into the living room and let out a content sigh. Next thing I knew, there was a knock on the door.

Opening it, I came face to face with Zeth and someone who looked very similar to Jace. "You sure you found him?" I said, staring confusedly at the blonde-haired, blue eyed stranger in front of me.

"Don't let looks deceive you, Jarrek," Zeth said, looking at the other guy. I watched as the blonde reach up and remove what I quickly realized were contacts. "Jace?" I said, the blood draining from my face. "What happened to you?"

"Changed everything," he said, sounding so different. He shoved passed me and stopped, a gasp escaping his mouth. I whirled around to see Liam standing casually in the hallway.

"Nice hair," he said, sounding bored. I could tell he was going through some inner turmoil, but didn't say anything. Looking at me, Liam said, "Morning, love." Jace whirled and looked at me. He looked furious, but then his face changed to one of boredom.

"Glad you two are happy," he said, pushing past me and Zeth. I saw Zeth get exasperated before going after him. The strange thing was, I didn't feel sorry for any of it.

Jace

I fell down to my knees at the end of the hallway, bringing my sleeve up to my face. "This is the home I come to," I said, looking up when I saw Zeth walk past me and come down to my level.

"You did leave him," he said, acting as if it were common sense, which it was. "You really didn't expect him to wait for you after what happened, did you?"

"Honestly, I don't know what I expected," I said, wiping the tears from my eyes. "All I do know is I fucked up and I don't know how to fix it."

"It might not be able to be fixed."

"Can we not talk right now?" Zeth nodded and pulled me into his arms. And we sat there, and I sobbed as hard as I did when mom and dad died.