Sister, I'm Feeling Pretty Safe, Dead in a Home-Made Grave

I hated Gerard Way's guts, and once again, he knew it. I hadn't seen him for two weeks, and the house seemed emptier than ever. As much as I loved him gone, I almost missed him. It was quiet without him coming up every hour for a bag of chips or a sandwich. As much as I hated his guts right now, I sorely wanted him bag. As much of a jerk as he was, Gerard was a shoulder to lean on. He was a good listener, and he always knew what to say when it came down to it.

Patrick had given me a second chance, and I had met him last night at a bar. That was when he told me he had started dating another girl. I guess he only saw me as a friend now, and it killed me. I didn't know what to do, I just wanted to roll over and die. I couldn't even get home because my car broke down on the side of the road. Luckily, Mikey happened to find me standing outside, trying to fix the car in the rain. He had gotten my car fixed and even waited with me until I could get it started. I was finally just getting home. It wasn't raining anymore, now that it was 8 in the morning.

I sniffled, brushing damp strands of hair from my face. My make-up was running all down my cheeks from tears as well as rain and for once in a long time, I really felt like laying down on the floor and crying my eyes out. I closed the door and sniffed again as I felt the tears come back. Why didn't Patrick love me the way I loved him? I didn't get it...

With that thought, I collapsed on the living room carpet and burst into tears. I just laid there on my side, sobbing my eyes out, mumbling incoherently and clinging to the same incoherent phrase over and over again. I just didn't know what to do. My head was throbbing and my stomach ached. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I looked when the sound stopped. I saw no feet, but I felt a comforting embrace lift me up. "Faye..." a soft, gentle voice cooed in my ear as they held me in their arms, keeping my wobbling legs stable.

I turned around slightly, tears still running down my face. Tears flooded from my eyes and I started smacking his chest and arms in a frustrated fit. "Let go of me, Gerard!" I yelled through my tears. "I... I hate you! I hate you!" I sobbed.

The pushes and shoves didn't work. He just held me tighter. "I know what I did was wrong now... and I know I can't go back and fix it--"

"No, you can't go back and fix it because Patrick hates me now!" I yelled, still trying to break away from Gerard. I was feeling so tired... I had been up all night.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you, love," Gerard said softly and reassuringly.

"Yes he does!"

"And how do you know that?"

"Because he already has a girlfriend..." I whimpered.

Gerard fell silent. He didn't know what else to say. He knew I had caught him, and he knew that I was right. I looked up at him sadly, tears filling my eyes again. "Gee..."

"Yeah, Faye?" he said, starting to swaye me around to the background music coming off whatever was on the TV. He stopped when I started to talk again.

"Why doesn't he love me...?"

"I don't know, love. I guess he just wasn't right for you..."

"But I liked him so much... I just don't get it..."

With that, Gerard stopped moving. "Why are you so goddamn hung up on Patrick!?"

I stared. What just happened? Gerard had gone from the sweetest person in the world to the meanest person I had ever met. "Why are you such an asshole? Do you think your friends and your brother would want to be around you if you act like this? And whatever happened to that nice Gerard? The one that smiled all the time?" I looked at the TV and turned on FUSE, the Black Parade video was on. I pointed to it angrily. "Whatever happened to that guy, huh!? What happened to that sweet guy I knew!?"

Gerard was fuming, I could see. He was trying not to explode. He walked over to the window and lit up a cigarette. "Shut up..."

"What happened Gerard!?"

"Shut up."

"Gerard!"

Gerard's body tensed, and he spun around, cigarette dangling from his hands as he yelled angrily. "I'M A GODDAMN ASSHOLE BECAUSE I'M DEAD AND MY FRIENDS DON'T EVEN KNOW I'M HERE! MY BROTHER CAN'T SEE ME! I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO MIKEY OR FRANKIE! HELL, I EVEN MISS BRIAN! THEY DON'T KNOW I'M HERE! BUT YOU DO, FAYE! YOU KNOW I'M HERE, AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE! I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU TO SOME FUCKING FALL OUT BOY!" he screamed.

I was stunned. I fell silent. I just stared at him. His chest was heaving, eyes about to overflow with tears. I never knew ghosts could cry either... Before I knew it, he took me in his arms and kissed me.