It Takes Someone Special to Be a Dad

Kate’s POV
2 weeks ago my son had one of the biggest surgeries anyone could have, now I am left staring at the blank space on the wall above the dining room table. This couldn’t be happening. Why was this happening? Why my son? Why couldn’t it have been me? The results had finally come back, my son had cancer.

“Evgeni, can you come in here?” I called from the kitchen.
“Yeah,” he jogged in before stopping and looking at me. He didn’t have to ask, he knew straight away the news was bad, “cancer?” was all he said before I broke down crying.
“It will be ok,” Evgeni wrapped his arms around me while I cried.

“Mummy?” I saw Asher standing in the door way looking at us confused and scared.
“Come here,” I pulled away from Evgeni and picked Asher up holding him as tight as I could.

I continued to cry as Evgeni’s arms wrapped around the both of us as we stood in the kitchen.
“Baby, mummy and daddy love you, ok?”
“Ok,” he tightened his arms around my neck.
“And we are going to do everything we possibly can to make you better, ok?”
“Ok.”

I didn’t know how to tell my 3 year old he had cancer. A disease that has no explanation as to why someone gets it and especially why he has it.

That night he slept in our bed, wedged between us. The fact I had his tiny foot in my back for half the night didn’t matter. I would have his tiny foot in my back every night for the rest of my life it meant he would ok.

Evgeni’s POV
Our lives were about to change massively. Asher was just a child, he didn’t deserve any of this and what was even worse was he didn’t understand. He doesn’t know what cancer is, he doesn’t know what could happen, all he thinks about is the hospital and all the needles.

“Don’t worry,” I tried to calm him down, “we not leave you,” I ran my hand over his short hair.
“Promise?” his little blue eyes looked up at me.
“I promise,” I kissed his forehead and waited for him to settle between Kate and I in bed.

**************************************

We could not have prepared ourselves for his first lot of chemotherapy. What hair he did have left began to thin out, he began to look pale and he wasn’t our happy 3 year old little boy anymore.

He grew weak within a matter of days, his little body not being able to handle the invading medicines. It was tough, the doctor said that because of the cancers rapid growth that a large amount of medication was needed in order to stop the tumor from returning.

It was hard to sit there and watch him go through everything. His arm was like a pin cushion with all the IV’s in it and all he did was sleep.

I tried so hard to get him to smile but nothing worked. No laughing, no little chuckle, he just laid in Kate’s arms with his eyes scrunched shut.

“You came like crashing thunder, breaking through these walls of stone. You came with wide eyed wonder into all this great unknown. Hush now don’t you be afraid, I promise you I’ll always stay, I’ll never be that far away, I’ m right here with you…”

Kate sat in the large chair with him in her lap and sang the same song to him every single night. She said it was the song she would sing to him when he was a baby and wouldn’t sleep.

“I hope your tears are few and fast. I hope your dreams come true at last. I hope you find love that goes on and on and on and on and on. I hope you wish on every star. I hope you never fall too far. I hope this world can see how wonderful you are…” I was completely lost in her voice.

She continued to sing as Sid, Vero and Marc came into the room. Vero sat next to me on Asher’s bed and put her hand on my back. Her tiny hand rubbing light circles made me feel calm for the first time all week.

Kate had began pushing me away again. She hid behind Asher’s illness, got angry and tried blaming me. I knew shutting off was her way of dealing with things but I wanted so badly to help her.

“Here,” I offered to take the sleepy boy from her lap.
“No it’s ok, he is fine,” she ran her hand over his head watching him lovingly.
“We go now, sleep. They here,” I pointed to the others in the room.
“No I am fine here.”
“Kate please, you not help him like this,” she reluctantly let me take him.

“Daddy?” Asher mumbled into my neck.
“It’s ok buddy, I just put you in bed,” Vero pulled back the covers so I could slip him in.
“I love you,” he rolled over as I pulled the blankets up around his neck.
“I love you too,” I lent down and tucked him in kissing him on the forehead.

I wrapped my arm around Kate’s waist as we walked down the hall towards the elevator. It was the most she had let me touch her in what felt like forever.
“Kate don’t push me away,” I said into the air as we stood silently in the elevator.

The doors dinged as they opened and she pulled away from my grasp.
“Kate!” I ran after her into the large hospital car park.
“What?” she turned around, frustration all over her face and to any one else she would just look angry but to me I could see the fear and sadness in her eyes.
“Stop,” I grabbed her hand, “you always push me away,” I pulled her into my chest, “just stop.”
“I can’t lose him,” she sobbed wrapping her arms around me.
“You won’t. We won’t,” I kissed her forehead.