Pretty Little Messed up Head of Yours

"H-hey" Alex stuttered, moving forward slightly due to Billie pushing him.

I looked at jack, what was going on? How did they know ea-unless he was the Alex jack always told me about.

But it couldn't be....jack said they were best friends, inseparable...so why didnt he know Alex was in here?

I mean, he looked pretty shocked to see him.

"Why are you....what are you doing here?" Jack asked looking confused.

"I'm uh delivering...I'm...I'm sorry jack.i wanted to tell you but I...I didnt know how...I- I go here now..." He said, eyes fixated on the ground.

"What does that mean?"

I decided to step in, even though it was none of my buisness. Alex obviously wasn't getting anywhere on his own.

"What he means is, he's a resident of bostwick now, he's been referred here, you dumbass".

Billie Joe shot me a look, as if to say keep out of it. I just glared back.

"Is-is that true?" Jack asked, sounding a mixture of hurt, confused, worried and tired.

Alex nodded shamefully.

"Why?"

"Issues" Alex mumbled.

"Oh".

Alex looked up at me, then back at jack. "Wait, why are you here? Why do you come see her every week" he said, pointing at me.

I scoffed, "excuse me, but I do have a name".

They both just chose to ignore me.

"I met her a little while ago and we became friends, so I decided to come visit her every week" he shrugged.

"Once again, I have a name" I repeated, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Why didnt you tell me?".

Oh here it comes. Jacks embarrassed to be friends with a psycho like me. I don't blame him, I wouldn't have told anyone either. It's a shame I don't react to thing properly, if I did he'd probably be disowned or something.

"I...I...you never asked".

Alex snorted, "never asked? Never fucking asked? That isn't exactly something that just pops up in conversation jack!".

"Shh!" Both me and Billie Joe said in unison to the boys.

One of the elderly patients here looked at them judgingly.'

Jack mouthed 'sorry' to her as Alex moved closer so they werent having to make as much noise.

"Look, we both kept something from each other-" jack began, Alex cut him off.

"No! It's completely different. You never told me you came here every Saturday to see some fucked up girl in a-".

Ok, that stung. I know I'm fucked up, but why point that out?

I decided it would be fun to overreact with this, I might even get the two to stop arguing.

"Excuse me?" I said loudly, he tried to start speaking again but I wouldn't let him.

"You know what? Fuck you. Who do you think you are calling me 'fucked up'. You're fucked up too, there's a reason you're in here you know. Jack didn't want to tell anyone for that reason, I'm fucked up. He doesn't say it right in front of me though! Maybe you should take a look at your own life before you'd start judging me. Fuck you!" I spat before running off, hopefully that would take some of the tension off of their situation and load some onto mine.

I ran into my room and sat down on my bed. I attempted tears but it wasn't for happening.

I waited for a few minutes until I heard a knock at my door. I ignored it hoping to add effect. I, you see had done this more than once.

"Charlie...I'm sorry"I heard someone whisper from the other side of the door. I'm presuming it was Alex.

"Good going you dick" I heard jack say to him.

I mentally groaned in frustration, I wanted them to work together to make me feel better, not fight about it.

"Open the door...please".

I rolled my eyes. It's not as if he couldn't have jut walked through the door, they didnt put locks on them.

"No" I mumbled, trying to sound offended by what he had said.

"Go away".

"Look, it's just me ok. No jack, no Billie. That means no arguing and that means I'm not gonna say something I didn't mean to say".

Oh for fucks sake.

"Fine". I said, pulling my knees up to my chest.

Maybe if I made out that Alex really helped me feel better jack might forgive him.

I'm such a nice person.

I really despise arguing you see. Before I came here me and my mum used to argue alot, that's probably why I hated it. I don't see her now abs that's the only memory I have. It's not a very nice image to have of your mom.

He walked through the door, shutting it behind him.

"Hey..." He said, awkwardly sitting down on my bed.

I looked at him.

"I'm sorry...it's just..." Oh here we go.

"This place it's really getting to me, y'know? Like everything about it is so fucked up and I hate it. The fact that my best friends been coming here for ages to see some girl I only met because I'm crazy, makes I don't know, a little on edge. I'm angry at the world, I hate everything. I hate how I can't go to sleep without having a nightmare, I hate how I have those stupid anxiety attacks, I hate how I cut myself sometimes, I hate how my brother killed himself and it was all my fault, I just, ugh I hate everything. I hate what I said to you. No one deserves to be made to feel different, I'm sorry".

He looked like he was going to burst into tears, I can hardly blame him though.

The kids been through alot.

I had to do something, damn me suddenly caring. This is why I never wanted to talk to him, now I'm involved, now I care.

Fuck you, conscience.
"A-Alex....you never actually upset me, I know I'm fucked up..." I admitted.

He didnt look convinced.

"Really? Then why did you run off and shit?"

"I had to stop you and jack arguing. It was the only way. I hate it! I hate arguing and arguments, everything about them sucks donkey dick. You two could've thrown away your friendship over something as small as one stupid little mistake. That's not right".

He bit his lip, "you're right...I'm still sorry for what said...."

I smiled, "I know. Just go back out there and sort stuff out, yeah?" He nodded then stood up and left, giving me a small wave before exiting the door.

I smiled to myself.

Fuck. No. I'm involved. We're friends. He told me his story, I told him something personal about me. Anything information I share is personal, now he knows something. Argh, I'm so stupid.