White Noises

I'm always scared, always terrified. I'm terrified of just about everything.

Scared when people talk to me, because I'm not sure they're real.

Scared when I hear voices, because I don't know if they're people mocking me or if it's my imagination.

Scared to be alone, because it's worse when I'm alone.

Scared to make friends, because they'll just leave me.

Scared to tell my parents, because they won't care.

Do you see my dilemma?

If I told anyone but Dr. Yates, I'd probably be labelled as a freak. I mean, it fits, because I am a freak, but whatever.

My parents basically don't care. They support me, somewhat, but they never wanted a child. I guess they should have aborted me. Too bad they're Christian. Damn morals and all that.

At least they didn't disown me when I came out. I'm gay, fully, 110%, all out. Girls are annoying. Girls are all fluffy and loud and frustrating. But back to my parents.

My mom was disappointed, but that was to be expected.

My father felt awkward around me after that. He tried to hide it, for my sake, but he wasn't very good at it.

At least they didn't try to make me straight.