I Understand Now

"Do you mind if I smoke?" Gordon asked.

"No," I said.

I actually did, but I figured this would've been a one-time thing, so I might as well let him. Gordon pulled out his cigarettes and lit the end of one with an orange lighter. Smoke plumed from it. "Just roll down the window," I said. "I don't want my car to smell like tobacco."

"It's all good." He rolled down my window and sucked on the cancer-stick. But he blew the smoke out into the street and hung the cigarette outside the car as we drove on. "Don't give me a lecture on how this is bad for me," he said. "I already know everything that's going to happen to me in the future."

"Then why do you smoke?"

"It calms me down. I get jittery sometimes."

"Are you jittery now?" I inquired.

He didn't answer and puffed on the cigarette.

"So you're a freshman, right?" I asked. "You look too young to be in this class."

"Nah, I'm a junior," he said. "I'm just too smart so they put me in this class instead of other ones."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh." He suddenly laughed. His laugh was deep and textured. "I'm a junior in high school."

I turned down another lane and glanced at him, incredulous. "So wait, you're like sixteen or seventeen, right? What are you doing in multivariable calculus?"

"I told you, I'm too smart." He laughed again. "I learned math differently and quicker than most people. So they put me here. Are you a freshman? In college, I mean."

"Yeah. I'm smart, but I guess not in the way you are."

"Eh, everyone thinks differently." Gordon paused to inhale some smoke and then breathed it out. "I thought you were like me and were in high school too," he said. "The braces make you look younger."

"Yeah, people say that." I frowned. "I hate my damn braces for that reason."

"I think they're cute. They give you character."

"Whatever. This is your house, right?"

"Yeah, the yellow one. You can pull in here."

I pulled into his driveway and parked it. His house was medium-sized and decent, but the garden outside was pretty much everywhere. It needed to be trimmed up, though the overgrown quality kind of gave the place an enchanted house type of feel. I got out of the car and Gordon did too. He went up, put out his cigarette in an ash tray on the porch, and unlocked his door.

I followed him inside. "Hey mom!" he called. "I've got a friend over!"

"Okay honey, that's fine!" a woman's voice called from somewhere in the house. A second later she appeared and smiled at me. She had the same dimple in her cheek as Gordon did, but had brown hair instead of blond. "Hi, you can call me Nancy," she said and shook my hand. "You are?"

"Mason," I said. I realized how terrible I must've looked. I really should've dressed better this morning. Five more minutes taken to pick matching clothes wouldn't have made much of a difference given I was already pretty late.

"It's good to see Gordon get a guy around here. Usually he brings girls over." Nancy laughed and Gordon muttered something I couldn't hear. "You two have fun. I'll be around the house if you need me."

I almost wanted to tell her that I've only known her son for three days and he kind of forced me to come over here, but I just thanked her. Gordon took me to the backyard. He had all sorts of weird paintings on the walls, but his backyard looked semi-normal.

I saw his little brother in a corner of the yard smeared in mud again. He was crying, which sent a panic in my chest. What did Gordon's family do, abuse him? But I saw his tiny hands pressed together in prayer, and he was knelt over a small grave.

"Oh Liam," Gordon breathed. "Did LeeKee pass away?"

Liam finished praying and rubbed his wet eyes with the back of his hand. "Yeah," he whimpered. "She flew into the window until she died."

"Oh I'm sorry, Liam." He leaned down and wrapped his brother into a hug. The mud-stained boy gripped onto Gordon's shirt with trembling hands. "She's in a better place now. Just believe that."

"O-okay." Liam sniffled and released him. His watery eyes looked at mine. "You're Mason. Bigbro told me about you."

My heart hurt a little bit, but I smiled. "Yeah. Gordon told me about you too."

"LeeKee wanted me to tell you that you were the nicest person she ever met," Liam whispered, "She thought you were beautiful too."

Now my heart twisted. "Thank you for telling me."

Liam wiped his eyes again. "Hey Liam, do you wanna get a Popsicle?" Gordon asked. He took the boy's hand.

"Yeah." Liam sniffed. "Let's get a Popsicle."