Dead But Breathing

Alex and Matt were sat either end of the long bar counter, facing each other, with one glass of thick, red liquid in between them. Alex wasn’t sure what Matt’s plan was, but he knew he would have to go with it. So far, now words had been said between them since the blood had been placed on the counter, and Alex was beginning to feel uncomfortable, the burning in his throat getting worse the longer he sat with the blood just a few inches away from him, but he pushed the feeling to the back of his mind; the whole point of this was to teach him to be able to cope.

“Im going to slowly move this cup closer to you Alex” Matt said suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. Alex nodded.

“Don’t touch it though okay Alex” Matt warned and Alex nodded again, scrunching his eyes shut. He knew this would be hard. Matt slowly started pushing the cup closer and closer to Alex, who had to use every ounce of self control he had not to reach out and snatch the cup away from Matt, but he steadied his breathing and tried to focus on something other than the delicious smell drifting through his nostirls. He let his mind wonder back to what had happened at the party before the incident with the girl. He thought about Jack, and the conversation they had had on the balcony before he had had to leave. He thought about how Jack had let him use his guitar and complimented him. He liked Jack, he had only known him for a day but he could see himself getting along well with him. That was if he ever trusted himself enough to see Jack again. Alex snapped himself out of his thoughts, only to realise that Matt was now holding the cup right below Alex’s face, his eyebrows slightly raised. He noticed Alex had opened his eyes and quickly brought the cup away from Alex’s face and threw it into the sink; he was impressed that Alex had been able to handle that so well, he was expecting at least a little bit of a fight.

“Wow.” Matt said, sitting down on the seat closest to where Alex was, “I didn’t expect that to go so well”

“Neither did I” Alex replied, shaking his head in disbelief, how had he managed that? He had barely even noticed that the blood was being held right below his nose.

“What were you thinking about, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Alex shrugged and looked at his hands, “Just stuff”

“’Stuff’?” Matt raised an eyebrow and Alex laughed slightly, “Well whatever, It doesn’t matter what you were thinking about as long as it distracts you.” Matt’s phone vibrated and he reached into his back pocket to retrieve it, groaning when he saw the text.

“Seriously?” Matt asked himself before quickly typing out a reply and clicking send.

“Who is it?” Alex asked curiously, even though he knew he didn’t really have any right to know who Matt was texting.

“It’s um… It’s Jack” Matt replied and Alex raised his eyebrows, “He keeps asking to speak to you.”

“And what did you say?”

“That he couldn’t.”

“Why?” Alex asked, Jack wanted to speak to him and Matt wouldn’t let him? That hardly seemed fair.
“Because I don’t think you should be getting too close to people right now Alex, you might… hurt them.” Matt tried to pick his words carefully as not to anger Alex, but it didn’t work.

“What the fuck Matt? You just said how well I did and now you don’t even trust me to speak to someone on the phone?” Alex raised his voice, anger present in his words. Matt sighed and shook his head.

“It’s not that, Alex, I just think that for a while you need to stay away from people.” Alex was getting more angry now, Matt was just going to lock him inside and not let him have any communication with anyone? He had dragged him all the way to America, he could at least let him make some friends.

“Please let me speak to jack?” Alex said, trying to keep his voice calm, he knew getting angry wouldn’t help anything. “I just want to say thank you to him for um.. keeping me company at the party yesterday. I’m not asking to see him in person, just… speak to him” Matt sighed and gave in to Alex, reaching out and handing him his phone.

“Ok fine, One phone call okay?” Alex nodded enthusiastically before hitting call and pressing the phone to his ear, waiting for Jack to pick up.

“Hey Matt, what’s up” He heared Jack sigh impatiently.

“Um… its Alex actually” Alex said, suddenly feeling incredibly shy and nervous.

“Oh! Hey Alex” Jack said, his tone changing from an slightly annoyed one to a strangely excited one, causing Alex to smile down the phone.

“Hey” Alex said again, not knowing what to say, he had never been good at talking to people, especially on the phone.

“Matt kept saying that you couldn’t speak to me, I was starting to feel like you we’re deliberately ignoring me” Jack said sadly and Alex shook his head, even though Jack couldn’t see him.

“No, I’m not avoiding you” He laughed slightly, earning a laugh back from Jack.

“Good, because I was wondering if you wanted to hang soon, like at the park or whatever? You seem cool and I’d like to get to know you better, y’know” Jack asked nervously. Alex suddenly felt a pang of guilt in his stomach, he couldn’t meet up with Jack, but he couldn’t turn down the offer. Maybe he could convince Matt to let him go.

“Uh.. yeah, that would be um… good” Alex stuttered.

“Great! You want to go later? I have no homework to do or anything”

“Yeah, that would be cool” Alex agreed, instantly wishing he hadn’t. What was he doing?

“Okay, well, get Matt to tell you the way to the park by the river and I’ll meet you there in an hour?”

“Sure”

“Great, well I’ll um.. see you later then”

“Yeah, see you” Alex said quickly before hanging up and turning back around to face Matt, who had been waiting impatiently for the phone call to finish.

“Well? What did he say?” Matt asked.

“He um… he wants to meet up” Alex said, looking at the floor.

“And what did you say?”

“I um… I said yes.” Alex mumbled, closing his eyes. He knew what was coming now, he knew what always came after he pissed Matt off. Sure enough, he felt a hand against his stomach, pushing him against the counter.

“I thought I told you that you couldn’t meet up with people?” Matt sneered and Alex sighed, he had grown used to Matt’s mood swings, they didn’t affect him much anymore.

“Yeah but I just really really want to Matt, I don’t have any friends here and its fucking lonely, I just want someone other than you to talk to, someone normal.”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea Alex, and I don’t want to hurting any more people, because the more people you hurt, the more risk there is of me being found out.” Matt said; face still painfully close to Alex’s.

“Well, if you don’t trust me then.. you can come” Alex regretted the words as soon as he said them, he wanted nothing less than for Matt to go with him. Matt took a step back and looked at him, frowning.

“Hmm”

“Then, if I do anything, you’ll be there to stop me, but I won’t do anything, and I can prove that to you. Just please let me go Matt, I haven’t been outside in days and it’ driving me insane” Alex whined. Matt finally gave in, nodding his head and reaching over to the sofa to pick up his hoodie.

“Fine, whatever, I’ll go with you, but if anything happens, you’re facing the consequences.”