Alpha

"Alright, so I have something to admit to all of you."

My Pack stares at me, wondering why I was so adamant about sitting them all down to talk. Rudi and Zeeva sit on opposite sides of the living room, and Cannan is still sulking, but they can tell I'm scared and desperate. Ryder sits behind them all, knowing what I'm going to say. He has mixed feelings about me coming clean to the Pack, but he stands behind my decision. I resolved to keep what the Voice said about Lovett's mind from the Pack, even Ryder. She says she wants to stick with me—why bother burdening my brother with the constant worry about this thing trying to take over his head too?

The Voice—Monique, should I say—hasn’t spoken to me since the dream, about an hour ago.

"I know you've all noticed me acting pretty weird in the past few weeks, and I have. But...the thing with Damien hasn't been the only reason for that. The reason that Lovett is able to touch steel when it harms the rest of us is because our mother was a human. And what our mother was has resulted in an abnormality within me, too." They had all looked at him when I revealed that our human mother has caused this mutation in his DNA, an abnormality amongst even werewolves. But curiosity burns in their faces and through the Bond now, caused by their wonder of what's so weird about me.

"A few weeks ago, just before everything started happening, I had this really odd dream. Now this was only the third in a series, the first being when I was four and the second being when I was ten."

"But...wait a minute…" Lovett seems to catch on, and I reluctantly nod.

I close my eyes and cut him off, needing to get this all out before I chicken out. "The first of these dreams was me in the car when I was four. It was very murky but I remember getting hit and hearing my mother scream." I close my eyes and swallow, remembering the terror I felt that day, wanting to wipe it away. But they have to know the extent and severity of the situation. "I ignored it, thinking that it was just a dream that didn't mean anything. I forgot all about it...until the next day." Some emotion sparks on Lovett's face, and I can tell that he remembers that night, that dream. I never told him what it was, but he remembers me waking up screaming in the next room over. He stayed up with my mother until I fell back asleep, and I woke up the next morning with him sitting in a chair next to my bed with his head resting on the mattress.

"The next night was the last one of the Full Moon, and we all got into the car and started driving to the forest that we always went to for the Transformation. And we were so close, we were almost there. And then the car hit us, exactly as it had in the dream. Mama screamed, just as she had in the dream. Everything after that happened so quickly, but I then realized that sometimes, nightmares really do come true. And six years later, it happened again.

"I saw a man get out of a car as my uncle climbed the roof to clean the shingles. I was scared and tried to get him to postpone the plans for cleaning it but he was so determined that, as if it was just inevitable."

"I remember that," says Lovett, realization dawning on him and causing his face to darken. "You tried to get him to take us all out, you were desperate. But he said it had to be done that day or he'd get in trouble."

I nod, swallowing. "If you'd seen the look on that guy's face, twice, you'd be pretty scared, too." I shake my head to refocus. "But getting back to the point, these dreams came true. I realized that when this happens, there's no deterring it—they’ll come and that's that. And then last month, I had another one, and they became more frequent. And weirder.

"Last month, right before the last night of the Cycle, I had a dream that I was running through a forest, as a wolf. And I remember how I was so confused because I was just running, but I felt scared. And then I heard this really shrill voice laughing at me and taunting me and dropping little hints. It was telling me that someone was chasing me and that my pursuer was going to kill one of us."

"What? Cannan shoots up furiously, glaring daggers at me. His body is tense like he'll attack me, but I just feel so weary. "You knew that whole time that one of us was going to die and said nothing? You selfish bitch!" He takes a step towards me, and Ryder rises from his seat, taking a step forward. He's too late however, because Lovett is already by Cannan's side, placing a warning hand on the other boy's chest.

"Take another step towards her," he whispers, "and what you did to Damien will look like a slap on the wrist."

We all hold in our breaths—it’s the first time that any of us have made reference to Cannan's punishment of our torturer. What happened at breakfast that day was bad, but I can tell that all of this is hitting Lovett hard, and I know that he's just daring anyone to challenge him right now. Everyone can tell. Cannan takes a deep breath through gritted teeth and throws himself back on the couch. Lovett sits right next to him, taking Rudi's place—she moved away from Cannan the second he stood up, afraid of him. Ryder walks around the couch to stand against the wall behind me like a silent guardian.

"I know how wrong it was, with my prior knowledge of these dreams, to keep something like this from you all. But imagine being in my shoes." I look desperately around the room at the impassive faces of my friends and the stormy one of Cannan. "I was afraid for the sanity of my mind, and I was hearing a voice. In my head. How often is that good? I sat on it. I knew that none of you would believe me! And then Susanne went missing, and everything started to happen.

"I tried to keep her from going, I really did. But she just got up and stormed away and there was nothing to be done. And that voice kept talking and giving me a headache. I ran away as soon as I found out that that's the day that my parents were killed and picked up Damien's scent in the forest. I knew that I recognized it but didn't know where from. I knew it from my dream but also from somewhere else. All I knew was that whoever was associated with it was no good at all. So I followed it and was led to the road. Then Cannan was taken and then Lovett.

"When Lovett was taken, I wanted to die. I was terrified of it being Cannan or Susanne who died, but if it was Lovett, I wouldn't ever be able to forgive myself. He was there for me through the death of our parents and our uncle and when we came to the United States. He kept us safe. He kept me safe. I just wanted to do the same. I started to think of how I could get him back. But the Voice sent me another dream. It showed me that room that I was brought to and told me that everyone in the Pack would be brought there before I was."

"So what?" Rudi asks, starting to get really annoyed with me. "You just decided to let us get picked off and then you'd just waltz in and save the day?"

"Well, not like that, but kind of."

Rudi and Cannan look at me disapprovingly, Cannan with a bit more fury written across his features than Rudi. Their disdain streams through the Bond to me in a dense black cloud. The others don’t say a word.

"Alright, guys," Ryder intervenes, not liking the way Cannan is glaring at me—he looks kind of like he wants to murder me more severely than he did Damien. "So Louve made a mistake. Maybe she should have told us what was going on and what was going to happen. That's a given." He glances at me and I look away. "But would you have told?" Rudi shifts uncomfortably; Cannan looks on stormily. "You guys talk big, act superior. But Louve did everything she could to get to us. She knew what she was walking into. That probably made it worse. She had to walk into that prison cell and get back out. And she did it willingly because it would help us. She told me that if she didn't get out to just leave her behind and get the rest of you home. How many of you would say that? She had a shock collar put on her, that asshole tried to get her to be his, and she heard and felt me get shot. She felt it in her head as her friends were kidnapped and starved and terrorized! She knew it all and couldn't do anything about it. So cut her some slack. You would want the same." He leans back against the wall as Rudi leans forward.

"Ryder, you expect us to not question what you say? You're way too biased. Everyone knows you'd do anything to protect her—and get in her pants. Why stop at defending her from us? Who's to say that you didn't know all along?"

"He has a point you know," Zeeva says monotonously, neither her face, nor the Bond giving away her feelings. We all stare at her—she really has changed.

Rudi turns a cold eye on her and glares, but the other girl refuses to back down. The face that Rudi gives to Zeeva says everything she has and hasn't said in regard to the situation between them. Nox gently takes her hand in a comforting gesture, and she temporarily turns her glare on him. His face is one of serenity and comfort. He gently strokes her hand in his with his thumb to calm her, and it works like hypnotism. She slouches back on the couch her head resting against his shoulder.

"Please, Louve, continue," Zeeva says encouragingly, her own fingers lacing through a surprised, but very willing, Eyulf's.

I nod in appreciation and return to my trail of thought. "Anyway, after that dream, I started to figure out what I would do once I got there. I obviously didn't have many options. The walls were made of steel so I couldn't break through there. There were locks on the door, and the window was barred. So I figured that the only way out was to get the guards into everyone's rooms, fight them off, and get out through there."

"But why not just tell us the plan?" Lovett asks, looking confused and hurt.

I sigh and look at my big brother with pleading green eyes the same as his own, trying to get him to understand. "If anyone knew, they might get overly excited and try to play hero. That may have gotten someone killed, we may not have figured out the leak, and everything would be ruined. I'm sorry, but I knew that you guys had to stay in the dark. I really am sorry, but it was really the only way. Plus, it had to be during the Full Moon, and I knew I was going that first night. The Voice told me so."

I can tell that everyone is getting a little impatient so I hurry along. "I then had to just wait. I couldn't do anything. I was useless, and I knew it. I wanted to just find Damien and that stupid house and bust you guys out. But number one, I didn't know where it was. Number two, I had nothing to fight with. And number three, I knew I would be the last to go and when. That was all I had to go on.

"So I waited. I could tell that everyone was getting restless waiting for me to execute this 'master plan' of mine. But I couldn't. And then you guys slowly got picked off. On the night that Rudi was taken, after Ryder and I realized that you really had been taken, I was once again arguing with the Voice in my head. She was teasing me, taunting me, laughing at me. And then, she let loose, whether on purpose or by accident—" I swallow and refuse to meet Ryder's eyes "—that I may or may not be able to get rid of her if I were to try to build up these mental barriers against her which may or may not get and keep her out of my head."

"Wait, so you're telling me that you could've been able to get her out of your head this whole time but you haven't tried?" Ryder asks me through gritted teeth with clenched fists, obviously very pissed off.

"I knew that you knew!" Rudi shouts accusatorially, shaking free of Nox and leaping up to point at me.

Ignoring Rudi, I twirl around to face Ryder, refusing to back down and distantly aware of my Pack mates watching the drama unfold. "I might have been able to! I don’t know for sure! This thing apparently drinks in my essence. I don't even know what that means or how she does it. But whatever this Voice thing is, she's the reason I knew what to do before, and she's the reason that I know that Damien had a kid!"

Everyone stares at me. Jaws drop with shock, and eyes widen with fear. "Louve...what do you mean...he had a kid?" Lovett asks slowly, unsure that he heard me right.

I close my eyes and massage my temples. "I mean just that. This is skipping ahead quite a bit, but earlier today, she came back. She's been gone now since we got back and she decided to pop up while I was talking to Ryder. I left so that I could talk to her freely and she told me she'd come back for a reason. But then Ryder came in and we started fighting about her. He stormed out and she took over my head somehow and—"

"Wait, let me get this straight," Zeeva interrupts. "A voice in your head took over your body?"

I sigh. "Yes, she did."

"How?"

"Look, I don't know. It all goes back to the whole 'she absorbs my essence thing.' Anyways, she took over my head and made me go to Ryder's room and apologize and then I somehow got control back, but she was in a rush to take me somewhere. She made me go to sleep and then I was in this cavern thing. There was an archway that she made me go through, and we went in and that's where I saw it. There was a guy delivering a woman's child. When the girl was born, he started talking about how she was going to avenge her father. The woman was terrified saying how Damien didn't want for her to live that life, but his father was adamant that the girl grow up to be the champion that her father was not." Everyone just stares at me, and I'm shocked at how calm I am through all of this despite the danger we're in. We're all playing with fire here. "These guys have found us more than once, and they’ll do it again no matter what. No matter what we do, he wants to hunt us down, and he wants to kill us. Whether or not he waits for this girl to grow up, he’ll eventually come for us with an army, and I don’t know if we’ll be able to handle that." I hate thinking, once again, that my Pack is in danger. It’s always my fault. I sigh.

"The Voice's name is Monique. The girl's name is Gabrielle."

I leave the room and allow my Pack mates to say what they want.