The Flavor of Your Lips is Enough to Keep Me Here

Jack didn't come back all day, and all night. I called him, I texted him, I even went to his house. He wasn't anywhere. It was like he'd walked away from me and disappeared into thin air. I stayed up all night. I wasn't crying, I was just sort of....staring, trying to take in everything that had happened so fast. Not only my situation with Alex, but this whole relationship with Jack had happened, so suddenly. I felt like I'd gotten too caught up in it. I'd failed to look at the bigger picture. I couldn't date Jack, I barely knew him. Plus, he was going to be gone every three seconds, and I didn't think I had the emotional strength to deal with something like that. I felt drained, physically and mentally. By the time I crawled into bed the next morning, I felt like the weight of the whole world was all resting on me.
I woke up some time the next night to my phone ringing. I looked at it, it was Jack.
I hurriedly answered, "Jack, where the fuck have you been?" I said sharply.
There was silence at the other end of the line for a long time. "I had to sort things out, but I'm okay now, can I come over?" he asked quietly.
I thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, sure, I have to talk to you anyways" I said. There was more silence, and then a click, signaling that Jack had hung up the phone.
It took him longer than normal to get to my house. Finally, I heard heavy footsteps up the stairs, and a knock on the door. Why was he walking so slow?
I opened the door and was shocked at Jacks appearance. He look completely disheveled. His hair was a mess, he had the same clothes he had on last time I saw him, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He reeked like booze.
"Jack, what have you been doing?" I asked, leading him inside.
"Sorting things out" he replied coldly.
I left it at that, I didn't want him to go into any more detail. I wanted to know, but I knew he'd tell me when he was ready. Once my front door was closed, I pulled Jack into a hug. At first he kind of stood there, all limp, but then he embraced me, squeezing me tightly.
We both sat down on the couch.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked, his voice sounding a little more like his own.
I took a deep breath. I had to end it, I had to. I couldn't do this anymore. He'd only been back for a few days, and my life was already in complete turmoil. I had feelings for him, I honestly did. But this was the only feasible option I could think of.
"Jack....We can't hang out anymore" I said, more bluntly than I'd wanted to.
He furrowed his eyebrow "What do you mean?" he asked.
I took another deep breath, trying to hold back tears. "I can't see you anymore. Look at what's happened in these past few days. I'm drained Jack" I said.
I looked into his eyes, and I swore I could see his heart shatter into a million pieces. "Christa, what happened, I'm sorry. I tried to make it right, I really did. Please, give me a chance" he pleaded.
I couldn't look at him, it hurt too much.
"I-I'm sorry." was all I could manage to slip out.
Jack stared at me for a long time with a horribly broken expression on his face. I wouldn't, no, I couldn't make eye contact with him. I had to stick by what I thought was right, and if I saw how hurt he looked I knew I'd change my mind.
After a few minutes, Jack stood up and walked towards the door. I heard the lock turn and the door open. I heard Jack stop before leaving.
"I want you to know, I've loved you since we first met." he said, before shutting the door.
It was like his words echoed, because that's all I heard in my mind. I wanted to go after him, to kiss him and make it all better, but I couldn't keep feeling like this.
As I heard Jack's loud footsteps go down the stairs and out the door, I began to second guess myself. But it was too late, the damage was done. Jack and I were done.